4ever seemed longer then 9 months to me.....
hey its 545 in the morning i havent slept yet and i am gettin up for school at 7. I don't think i am goin to go to sleep. No what sucks when you love someone n they love you and you want to be with them and they want to be with you but that isn't possible for one reson or another so you both got to suffer...man...that is harsh to deal with...
Tonight again me and andy was fighting moset the night..it was hell ....I hate fighting with him...I hate it with a pashion. He is or is goin to depends how you look at it...dateing tiff. and that girl thinks we would be such great fuckin friends.... bitch please. I would hit that bitch with a bottale at this point. its not her falt i told her myself that we wasnt datein anymore but it fucknin bothers me that we arnt dateing anymore cause we can't see eachother as offtin as we would like. Aint that some shit. I love talkin to andy...I love it...He can make me smile and laugh no matter what for some strange reson. its kinda strange. So i was thinking ...what is love? like how do you know if you love someone or just care about them alot. I mean i got 2 care about andy we was dateing for 9 months but i can't help but be hurt that he is dateing someone else...like danm ...we been through SOOO much shit together I don't want it to just go plaaa n to hell ya know? So we are friends...He wants to be friends dude he was tellin me not to call him and shit right then I sent him a text that was like..you shouldnt be so scared to talk to me..I didn't do shit to you. Your the one who fucked me over not the other way around.you shouldn't treat me like this. but ya know what i am done screw it. I will call you 1day mabe g-bye* i was so 4real I was done. I honestly wasnt goin to call him no more. I was goin to say g-bye 4ever. then he fuckin called me...thats something isnt it.. I tell him i am done he calls me...wtf lol...okay then w/e right? It jsut hurts that he was with tiff today. I know he is goin with her now n it hurts. but then fuckin you got to hear this shit this fucker is like i don't want to hear anything about this no more. I was like okay how about this we are goin to pretend like the last 9 months didnt happin. No more talk of anything of the past. He atepted to say something about this dude jon that wants to get with me and i was like nope stop thats in the past. hehe. I want to be with him i do. but i can't get hurt by him no more..he hurt me pretty bad and with all the other shit i am goin through he is the last thing i need ya know? but yeah so now we talk like we are just friends no more i love yous no more babys or hunnys....its strange i alwayz wanna say i love you but when i do i am just like opps snape. I got to remember not to. i don't think i am goin to call him tom. I want 2 see if he calls me i just need someone to give me the strength to not. Anyone got any ideas? doutful. I fuckin can't help but love him...it sucks
I was like andy have you ever had anyone be like i love you at one moment then i hate you the next then i want to be with you then i don't then i want to be friends with you then i don't and then i want you to call me then i don't have you ever had anyone who you really love do that 2 you? he was like yeah. I was like did it hurt? he was like yeah I was like then why would you do that to me? isn't that kinda fucked up or is it just me? he was like both? then he laughed...I guess tiff will make him happy like i couldn't...I did though...he still wants to be with me. I could have him back when i want him as long as i simply move in with him... I don't want to do that thanks you very much.. i dout it will last long anywayz... I will eather a get him back or get sick of him and just be like bitch please don't call me no more... I am hopeing 4 the 2end one...the 1st seems to painful. I think that i might switch out of livejournal again soon. I don't want to go to xanga though cause I already did both of them.. I might do someone thing else...not sure what but something...but I g2g. I seen mark from the carnvale. We made out when i was over his house that one day then i never talked to him again now we don't really talk eather. I just hate how that kid looks at me ...its like he can see right through me...it is krazy. But yeah there are a couple guys i was thinking about getting with but right now i don't want no more guys. NO more relationships at all. This kid kory was on the phone with me the other night and so was andy on the other one. right n my dads call was comeing through on korys and i was waiting for my dads call so i can get some trees ya know? well it was funny i was like shit i g2g ..then i hung up didn't say bye or nutton...lol it was pretty funny but now he is mad at me so i got to say i am so sry...but i dont really like him all that much he was kewl to chill with and stuff for a lil while now he is just boreing...4 some reson when i become friends with guys they cant STAY friends...its driveing me insane. I just want friends for awhile Ya know?
One thing i know for sure i am not goin to give my heart to no-one inlessI know for a fact they are worth the pain that come with it..
I played the one part of this song to andy it goes
baby what i got to do to please you
baby anything you say i'll do
cause i only want to make you happy
from the bottem of my heart its true,
thats the way i feel i can't help but miss him. I thought i was over him...thought i moved on..iTs MY fuckin falt we arnt together....I think it is andy says no. but it partly at least is...9 months seems so fuckin long...why just through it away? I guess i'll never know...well its 7 and i didnt get ANY sleep at all so i got to go get ready for school. i am out peace
Tonight again me and andy was fighting moset the night..it was hell ....I hate fighting with him...I hate it with a pashion. He is or is goin to depends how you look at it...dateing tiff. and that girl thinks we would be such great fuckin friends.... bitch please. I would hit that bitch with a bottale at this point. its not her falt i told her myself that we wasnt datein anymore but it fucknin bothers me that we arnt dateing anymore cause we can't see eachother as offtin as we would like. Aint that some shit. I love talkin to andy...I love it...He can make me smile and laugh no matter what for some strange reson. its kinda strange. So i was thinking ...what is love? like how do you know if you love someone or just care about them alot. I mean i got 2 care about andy we was dateing for 9 months but i can't help but be hurt that he is dateing someone else...like danm ...we been through SOOO much shit together I don't want it to just go plaaa n to hell ya know? So we are friends...He wants to be friends dude he was tellin me not to call him and shit right then I sent him a text that was like..you shouldnt be so scared to talk to me..I didn't do shit to you. Your the one who fucked me over not the other way around.you shouldn't treat me like this. but ya know what i am done screw it. I will call you 1day mabe g-bye* i was so 4real I was done. I honestly wasnt goin to call him no more. I was goin to say g-bye 4ever. then he fuckin called me...thats something isnt it.. I tell him i am done he calls me...wtf lol...okay then w/e right? It jsut hurts that he was with tiff today. I know he is goin with her now n it hurts. but then fuckin you got to hear this shit this fucker is like i don't want to hear anything about this no more. I was like okay how about this we are goin to pretend like the last 9 months didnt happin. No more talk of anything of the past. He atepted to say something about this dude jon that wants to get with me and i was like nope stop thats in the past. hehe. I want to be with him i do. but i can't get hurt by him no more..he hurt me pretty bad and with all the other shit i am goin through he is the last thing i need ya know? but yeah so now we talk like we are just friends no more i love yous no more babys or hunnys....its strange i alwayz wanna say i love you but when i do i am just like opps snape. I got to remember not to. i don't think i am goin to call him tom. I want 2 see if he calls me i just need someone to give me the strength to not. Anyone got any ideas? doutful. I fuckin can't help but love him...it sucks
I was like andy have you ever had anyone be like i love you at one moment then i hate you the next then i want to be with you then i don't then i want to be friends with you then i don't and then i want you to call me then i don't have you ever had anyone who you really love do that 2 you? he was like yeah. I was like did it hurt? he was like yeah I was like then why would you do that to me? isn't that kinda fucked up or is it just me? he was like both? then he laughed...I guess tiff will make him happy like i couldn't...I did though...he still wants to be with me. I could have him back when i want him as long as i simply move in with him... I don't want to do that thanks you very much.. i dout it will last long anywayz... I will eather a get him back or get sick of him and just be like bitch please don't call me no more... I am hopeing 4 the 2end one...the 1st seems to painful. I think that i might switch out of livejournal again soon. I don't want to go to xanga though cause I already did both of them.. I might do someone thing else...not sure what but something...but I g2g. I seen mark from the carnvale. We made out when i was over his house that one day then i never talked to him again now we don't really talk eather. I just hate how that kid looks at me ...its like he can see right through me...it is krazy. But yeah there are a couple guys i was thinking about getting with but right now i don't want no more guys. NO more relationships at all. This kid kory was on the phone with me the other night and so was andy on the other one. right n my dads call was comeing through on korys and i was waiting for my dads call so i can get some trees ya know? well it was funny i was like shit i g2g ..then i hung up didn't say bye or nutton...lol it was pretty funny but now he is mad at me so i got to say i am so sry...but i dont really like him all that much he was kewl to chill with and stuff for a lil while now he is just boreing...4 some reson when i become friends with guys they cant STAY friends...its driveing me insane. I just want friends for awhile Ya know?
One thing i know for sure i am not goin to give my heart to no-one inlessI know for a fact they are worth the pain that come with it..
I played the one part of this song to andy it goes
baby what i got to do to please you
baby anything you say i'll do
cause i only want to make you happy
from the bottem of my heart its true,
thats the way i feel i can't help but miss him. I thought i was over him...thought i moved on..iTs MY fuckin falt we arnt together....I think it is andy says no. but it partly at least is...9 months seems so fuckin long...why just through it away? I guess i'll never know...well its 7 and i didnt get ANY sleep at all so i got to go get ready for school. i am out peace