me- would you date me?
sighs* I'm still feeling kind of mad, but a lot better than I did yesterday. You know, the only way someone can get to you is if you let them. But sometimes it's really hard not to let people get to you when they find the scab parts that are weak and not healed totally and pick them away. For the most part people don't even realize they are doing this to me. Because I know the people and they totally wouldn't hurt me on purpose. I guess I should start bitching more when I get hurt in order to make sure people don't do it again.
But for now I'm going to make myself feel better so I can go back to sleep. I'm so tired but I had to get stuff out before I could sleep. I thought to myself last night if I were a guy and a girl like me was around would I date me? I mean being totally objective about myself would I be attracted to someone like me. Well, I came out that I probably would be. People that I like now have some of my traits. I think overall I'm a good person, but sometimes it's hard for me to see because I know all of the secret places that aren't so good.
As I see it physically I'm not hideous I have a nice face shape, really pretty eyes, nice cheek bones, pretty hair, I have a relatively proportionate body shape, somewhat hourglass. I look pretty feminine which is a good thing since I'm a girl. I like my body actually I wish it were somewhat smaller because I worry about getting Type2 diabetes, but I need encouragement about the small steps and not to be beat down because I'm not progressing fast enough. Diets don't work I have to make it a habit to eat well most days but not totally deprive myself of stuff that I like, or else *shrugs* what is the use of eating if you can't have a little of what you want. I never want to be that thin girl though. It wouldn't be me. I always want to retain some fat and softness. I mean I don't want to be so big, but I want to keep a few extra pounds on. Crazy I know, but I think that women that are really thin with my body type look mannish.
Internally I know I'm a great person. Hell, I'm smart, even though sometimes I don't remember things that other people bring up about quotes from movies and stuff. My mind remembers big details better than small ones. I'm great at seeing the common thread in two things that are seemingly unrelated at all. I'm good at finding unity in things and making peace between ideas and people. But I'm also good at making people think in ways they may not have before. I'm laid back and casual so I don't make people uncomfortable by being too perfectionistic. I'm open minded so I'm not easily shocked by things that other people find shocking. I'm loyal and when I love someone that doesn't go away even when they are fucktards. I'm loving and caring and I go totally out of my way for other people. I do stuff for others to the detriment of myself sometimes, but it makes me happy to help others. I can be witty, child-like, silly, endearing in my weirdness. I'm very cuddly and soothing. I care enough to listen to why people hurt.
Hum, as I think about it I think I would date me. Those are qualities that I look for in a mate. The internal qualities that is.
But for now I'm going to make myself feel better so I can go back to sleep. I'm so tired but I had to get stuff out before I could sleep. I thought to myself last night if I were a guy and a girl like me was around would I date me? I mean being totally objective about myself would I be attracted to someone like me. Well, I came out that I probably would be. People that I like now have some of my traits. I think overall I'm a good person, but sometimes it's hard for me to see because I know all of the secret places that aren't so good.
As I see it physically I'm not hideous I have a nice face shape, really pretty eyes, nice cheek bones, pretty hair, I have a relatively proportionate body shape, somewhat hourglass. I look pretty feminine which is a good thing since I'm a girl. I like my body actually I wish it were somewhat smaller because I worry about getting Type2 diabetes, but I need encouragement about the small steps and not to be beat down because I'm not progressing fast enough. Diets don't work I have to make it a habit to eat well most days but not totally deprive myself of stuff that I like, or else *shrugs* what is the use of eating if you can't have a little of what you want. I never want to be that thin girl though. It wouldn't be me. I always want to retain some fat and softness. I mean I don't want to be so big, but I want to keep a few extra pounds on. Crazy I know, but I think that women that are really thin with my body type look mannish.
Internally I know I'm a great person. Hell, I'm smart, even though sometimes I don't remember things that other people bring up about quotes from movies and stuff. My mind remembers big details better than small ones. I'm great at seeing the common thread in two things that are seemingly unrelated at all. I'm good at finding unity in things and making peace between ideas and people. But I'm also good at making people think in ways they may not have before. I'm laid back and casual so I don't make people uncomfortable by being too perfectionistic. I'm open minded so I'm not easily shocked by things that other people find shocking. I'm loyal and when I love someone that doesn't go away even when they are fucktards. I'm loving and caring and I go totally out of my way for other people. I do stuff for others to the detriment of myself sometimes, but it makes me happy to help others. I can be witty, child-like, silly, endearing in my weirdness. I'm very cuddly and soothing. I care enough to listen to why people hurt.
Hum, as I think about it I think I would date me. Those are qualities that I look for in a mate. The internal qualities that is.