(no subject)
I hate when I'm not prepared for my life to fall apart. Pat and I broke up perhaps a month ago, so it shouldn't completely ruin my life to see him, but it did. I'm even involved with someone else who cares about me a whole hell of a lot more than Pat ever did, but it doesn't make it feel better. Pat ignored me. Granted there were a lot of people around, but I thought I was still a pretty big part of his life. Six months together is no small feat. I realized last night that I didn't deal with that part of my life ending. When it was over, I didn't cry, I didn't give it time to let it sink in and hit me hard. I moved on, perhaps too soon. Now I'm back to not being sure where I stand, emotionally or mentally or anything. What am I doing?! What did I do? Why am I unhappy all of a sudden??? It's such a little thing, seeing an ex. It shouldn't throw me back in the dark...