(no subject)
It's been forty-eight hours since my Papaw died and the realization has still not hit me that he's gone. Easy to say he is, to tell people he's much better off, but the fact that it's a forever gone and not one of those 'I'll see him in a couple of days' gone. Tonight at the visitation I was able to keep it together until the last person was gone, then I got to say my final goodbye to him. We'll have a closed casket service tomorrow so..
There was about 353 people there that signed the guest book at the funeral home. We were all surprised (and quite pleased!) that so many people were there tonight. I told my family after it was a testament to his character just how many lives he touched. Everyone who came through the line said how great of a man he was and how nice he had always treated them. People told me I lost a good Grandpa and I told them more than they would ever know.
I slipped with my mom today and called it 'Mamaw and Papaw's house'. It's going to be hard just saying Mamaw's house now because I still expect when I'm there to see him coming back in from feeding the cows up at the barn or having run to the store for her. In my mind I can still see his smile and his laugh as I always knew it- I hope it never fades. It will over time, I know, but I don't want it to. Or the sound of his voice. The day I forget that I'll be lost.
He looked so good tonight. Mamaw had him dressed in a suit and blue shirt. Papaw always looked good in blue- he had the bluest eyes you've ever seen. The good thing is he didn't look like he had been sick and he had a lot of his color..looked just like he was sleeping and would wake up any moment. I remember times when I'd go out and visit them before he was sick and he'd be asleep in his chair and not even hear me come in. I'd sit there talking to Mamaw or watching tv until he woke up and he'd just laugh when he saw me there.
Lots of people told stories about him tonight. I told my fare share and made a few people cry when I said he was my hero (which I managed myself without crying). This is gonna be hard. At every family gathering he was the one that said the prayer- he was the foundation of our family. What will we do without him? Try to carry on, I guess. Gonna be hard. Damn hard.
There was about 353 people there that signed the guest book at the funeral home. We were all surprised (and quite pleased!) that so many people were there tonight. I told my family after it was a testament to his character just how many lives he touched. Everyone who came through the line said how great of a man he was and how nice he had always treated them. People told me I lost a good Grandpa and I told them more than they would ever know.
I slipped with my mom today and called it 'Mamaw and Papaw's house'. It's going to be hard just saying Mamaw's house now because I still expect when I'm there to see him coming back in from feeding the cows up at the barn or having run to the store for her. In my mind I can still see his smile and his laugh as I always knew it- I hope it never fades. It will over time, I know, but I don't want it to. Or the sound of his voice. The day I forget that I'll be lost.
He looked so good tonight. Mamaw had him dressed in a suit and blue shirt. Papaw always looked good in blue- he had the bluest eyes you've ever seen. The good thing is he didn't look like he had been sick and he had a lot of his color..looked just like he was sleeping and would wake up any moment. I remember times when I'd go out and visit them before he was sick and he'd be asleep in his chair and not even hear me come in. I'd sit there talking to Mamaw or watching tv until he woke up and he'd just laugh when he saw me there.
Lots of people told stories about him tonight. I told my fare share and made a few people cry when I said he was my hero (which I managed myself without crying). This is gonna be hard. At every family gathering he was the one that said the prayer- he was the foundation of our family. What will we do without him? Try to carry on, I guess. Gonna be hard. Damn hard.