I should've known
All of a sudden, it all comes out. I have defended him and taken his side so many times, even through all the pain he put me through. I am so completely disappointed and confused. My father is a foreigner to me. I don't know him. I don't think I want to know him.
I wish I could say everything I found out... It would be so easy just to let it all spill out, but I promised my mother I wouldn't tell.
I don't think I've ever felt so let down or misguided in my entire life.
If his goal is to alienate himself from his children, he is achieving it. I am one more incident away from cracking and losing the very last shred of respect I have for him. And he should bet I will not come back when I'm gone. I have one more summer in this house, and then I am gone. He knows this. He just doesn't care. Because he doesn't love me. And he hasn't since I was five. If my mother and him are still together, which I doubt, I will only come back to visit my mother.
I hope he is happy. But then I know he isn't, because he never lets me forget that he is miserable.
I wish I could say everything I found out... It would be so easy just to let it all spill out, but I promised my mother I wouldn't tell.
I don't think I've ever felt so let down or misguided in my entire life.
If his goal is to alienate himself from his children, he is achieving it. I am one more incident away from cracking and losing the very last shred of respect I have for him. And he should bet I will not come back when I'm gone. I have one more summer in this house, and then I am gone. He knows this. He just doesn't care. Because he doesn't love me. And he hasn't since I was five. If my mother and him are still together, which I doubt, I will only come back to visit my mother.
I hope he is happy. But then I know he isn't, because he never lets me forget that he is miserable.