Get thee to a nunnery, O DanRad oogler!
You will not believe what came in the mail for me today. Please read the following in an extremely preppy, campy voice: Like, ohmaigawd, an entry form for, like, the National American Miss Pageant!
I am so totally not even joking. Check out their website here. The amount of pink on these pamphlets.. It blinds me. There's tons of pictures of preppy girls with fake smiles plastered on their faces and huge hair. The pamphlet proclaims: "It's YOUR time to SHINE!" and "The spotlight's on YOU!" I could just vomit. Honest to god, how did these freaks get my name and address?! Surely not from scholarships.com - I mean, this isn't seriously considered an actual scholarship, is it? Just be a hooker. Same thing, but faster and without pretenses. Either way, it's whoring.
I'm almost tempted to send in the application, just to see what they do. But you have to send a $20 entry fee in - which is returned to you if they consider you unworthy, but still. Although I could pull a Miss Congeniality.. Hmm.. What if I did some sort of documentary from the inside? "Crazy Pageant Bitches: My Days In Anorexia and Narcissism Land". It has a catchy ring to it.
Anyway. So you know how I was up until 4am last night finishing my homework for history? Well, it turns out that the test wasn't actually today. So I didn't actually have to be up finishing all my homework. Oh, and you know how I had my last standardized test scheduled for today? Well, it wasn't actually today. So I went to school totally unprepared for all my morning classes, but feeling like Q-tipping my ears until my brain came spilling out because of the agony of having so many facts about this damn state in my head. Both tests are actually tomorrow. But I think drinking a frappachino in the morning is good for me. I was a lot cheerier today than usual, and I actually did quite a bit of socializing..
We reviewed for tomorrow's test in history, doing sort of a cross between Bingo and Tic-tac-toe. My group thought we had it, so we called it out.. but we were wrong. One of the guys in my group, John, had been talking about this one movie Johnny Depp was in, in which the quote "Did you see what god just did to us?!" is. Upon discovering that we were wrong, he said, "Did you see what god just did to us?!" "God hates you," I told him. "God loves me!" He retorted. "Jesus actually killed himself because he knew you were coming," I fired back, totally winning. It was all in good fun, though - we weren't being serious.
I tried retelling the story of it in Creative Writing later, because I thought it was funny and we were all chilling. I was sitting with a group [which I don't normally do], and was actually successfully interacting with them. I told my little anecdote, and one girl [who, by the way, had just gotten back from her Confirmation..] said, "But Jesus didn't kill himself." I blinked at her, and said, "I know.. It was a joke." "He selflessly sacrificed himself," she continued. I blinked at her again, bit the inside of my cheek to keep myself shut up, and went back to my painting. [Our assignment was to paint a setting as we listened to some dramatic music pulled from every movie trailer in the history of ever. Mine was a somewhat bloody battle scene with high drama, high cliffs, and the elusive Astrid from my novel-in-the-works..]
Later on, we were all [or most of us] deep in a discussion about Harry Potter, and how we thought various actors did or didn't fit their roles. Someone brought up Daniel Radcliffe being in Equus, like it was breaking news. "Did you know he did this play in Britain, nude?!" Not stopping to think about my words before letting them pour out of my mouth, I said, "Oh, I know! I saw the pictures online! Mmmm.." The young, innocent, freshman-looking, good Christian girl of the group [different from the earlier girl] stared at me with her jaw literally dropped. "Like, the whole thing?" The girl who'd brought up Equus asked. "Uh-huh!" I cheerfully affirmed. This brought a further round of staring, especially from the guy of the group who I'm fairly positive is gay. I quickly back-peddled, seeing that this was a little bit much for these folks. "Of course, you can't be sure if it's been photoshopped or not," I added. Somehow I think this only appalled them even more. I'm fairly certain they think I'm a connoisseur of celebrity penis porn now. Or just penises in general. Which is worse. But you know what? I really don't care. Daniel Radcliffe is damn hot, and I want to be freaking prepared when, one day billions of years in the future, I am in a situation in which there is raunchy nudity, instead of getting my First Glimpse Ever and having an embolism from shock. Kind of a mood-killer, ambulances. My motto is thus: "Innocence, not ignorance."
I am so totally not even joking. Check out their website here. The amount of pink on these pamphlets.. It blinds me. There's tons of pictures of preppy girls with fake smiles plastered on their faces and huge hair. The pamphlet proclaims: "It's YOUR time to SHINE!" and "The spotlight's on YOU!" I could just vomit. Honest to god, how did these freaks get my name and address?! Surely not from scholarships.com - I mean, this isn't seriously considered an actual scholarship, is it? Just be a hooker. Same thing, but faster and without pretenses. Either way, it's whoring.
I'm almost tempted to send in the application, just to see what they do. But you have to send a $20 entry fee in - which is returned to you if they consider you unworthy, but still. Although I could pull a Miss Congeniality.. Hmm.. What if I did some sort of documentary from the inside? "Crazy Pageant Bitches: My Days In Anorexia and Narcissism Land". It has a catchy ring to it.
Anyway. So you know how I was up until 4am last night finishing my homework for history? Well, it turns out that the test wasn't actually today. So I didn't actually have to be up finishing all my homework. Oh, and you know how I had my last standardized test scheduled for today? Well, it wasn't actually today. So I went to school totally unprepared for all my morning classes, but feeling like Q-tipping my ears until my brain came spilling out because of the agony of having so many facts about this damn state in my head. Both tests are actually tomorrow. But I think drinking a frappachino in the morning is good for me. I was a lot cheerier today than usual, and I actually did quite a bit of socializing..
We reviewed for tomorrow's test in history, doing sort of a cross between Bingo and Tic-tac-toe. My group thought we had it, so we called it out.. but we were wrong. One of the guys in my group, John, had been talking about this one movie Johnny Depp was in, in which the quote "Did you see what god just did to us?!" is. Upon discovering that we were wrong, he said, "Did you see what god just did to us?!" "God hates you," I told him. "God loves me!" He retorted. "Jesus actually killed himself because he knew you were coming," I fired back, totally winning. It was all in good fun, though - we weren't being serious.
I tried retelling the story of it in Creative Writing later, because I thought it was funny and we were all chilling. I was sitting with a group [which I don't normally do], and was actually successfully interacting with them. I told my little anecdote, and one girl [who, by the way, had just gotten back from her Confirmation..] said, "But Jesus didn't kill himself." I blinked at her, and said, "I know.. It was a joke." "He selflessly sacrificed himself," she continued. I blinked at her again, bit the inside of my cheek to keep myself shut up, and went back to my painting. [Our assignment was to paint a setting as we listened to some dramatic music pulled from every movie trailer in the history of ever. Mine was a somewhat bloody battle scene with high drama, high cliffs, and the elusive Astrid from my novel-in-the-works..]
Later on, we were all [or most of us] deep in a discussion about Harry Potter, and how we thought various actors did or didn't fit their roles. Someone brought up Daniel Radcliffe being in Equus, like it was breaking news. "Did you know he did this play in Britain, nude?!" Not stopping to think about my words before letting them pour out of my mouth, I said, "Oh, I know! I saw the pictures online! Mmmm.." The young, innocent, freshman-looking, good Christian girl of the group [different from the earlier girl] stared at me with her jaw literally dropped. "Like, the whole thing?" The girl who'd brought up Equus asked. "Uh-huh!" I cheerfully affirmed. This brought a further round of staring, especially from the guy of the group who I'm fairly positive is gay. I quickly back-peddled, seeing that this was a little bit much for these folks. "Of course, you can't be sure if it's been photoshopped or not," I added. Somehow I think this only appalled them even more. I'm fairly certain they think I'm a connoisseur of celebrity penis porn now. Or just penises in general. Which is worse. But you know what? I really don't care. Daniel Radcliffe is damn hot, and I want to be freaking prepared when, one day billions of years in the future, I am in a situation in which there is raunchy nudity, instead of getting my First Glimpse Ever and having an embolism from shock. Kind of a mood-killer, ambulances. My motto is thus: "Innocence, not ignorance."