NEW YEAR, NEW BEGINNING, NEW HOPE AND DREAMS!

[sweet_honeydew]

I thought I should start off the new year by writing my very first entry for the year of 2012!

Sorry that I haven't been updating as often as I used to. I really hope that I can get back to blogging as often as I do before but it's hard when life gets so busy and hectic, especially when I am HARDLY ever home now. Seriously, I'm only home to sleep

Comments

[sweet_honeydew]

She is worried but my mom is just trying to talk her in saying how business will go up and everything. Anyway, it's a long story. I'll tell you another time when I am FREE from this whole thing.

Something else also happened today which just made this business even worse.

Another thing is my mom hasn't been keeping her promise to give me my days off and when I ask her about them, she keep saying how I don't want to help her and everything. I am already trying my very best to help but I can only do so much. I cannot devote my WHOLE LIFE to this, I need time to do my own personal things too. Is that too selfish to ask for? And she keep saying how I'm stupid, slow, don't know how to "suck up" to the customers and blah blah blah. I don't f*cking care about all that stuff. This is not even my own business and I'm sorry I was born to be a very blunt and straightforward person. I don't know how to suck up to people "tum" them...that's just so fake. Geez, what am I now a hooker? I need to "tum" my customers to make money. I'm a very real person who just speaks whatever is on my mind and if I don't like someone/something, I won't hide it and pretend like I do. I feel like nobody is even appreciating what I'm doing what now. Everyday she just keep saying bad things about me and how I'm not a good enough to help her and all. Well, I already told her from the beginning that I was not suitable for this job but SHE was the one who thinks I can handle it because I know English. Yes, I know English but I've never done this job before and I have absolute 0% interest in doing this. I've been working 6 DAYS a week for the past 2 weeks and I have close to no personal time at all. If she thinks that I can't help her then why not set me free? Why do you have to lock me down with this stupid job and then criticize me and say all these negative things to me everyday. I'm human too you know. I HAVE FEELINGS! I'm trying my best to help her out everyday and yet all I get back is complains about how I'm not doing a good enough job. Honestly, I'm so "sum tam" right now. I'm actually crying right now as I typing this. I feel like everyday when I go to work I'm under so much pressure and I feel like I have no freedom at all. I just want to live a life doing what I want to do. Yes, I may not be good at doing this restaurant business thing but that doesn't mean I'm not good at doing other things or that I don't have talent in other areas. I just really want my life and freedom back...that's all I really want.

[simplicityo9]

aw, lisa, i'm very sorry to hear all these. i don't want to sound gay but when steve jobs died, i read up a lot on him, and one of his quotes really made an impact on me. he said that things that happen now may not make sense to you, but in the future when you look back, everything will tie together. he may have lots billions of dollars in a year, been kicked out in a company, been a school drop out, etc, but when he got older and thought back, he could not have been where he was without each of those incidents.

you may not be able to see it now, but i'm sure you are in this restaurant business (even if just temporarily) for a reason. i'm sure you will benefit from this somehow. maybe you will learn something critical in life from this, you'll never know. maybe you'll meet someone important. maybe he or she will be your customer. maybe you will develop some new soft skills. as crazy as it sounds, you'll never know, you just have to believe.

stay positive. know that things happen for a reason. know that there are goods and bads to everything in life. and though the bads are jumping right in your face in this scenario, it doesn't mean that there is nothing good.

maybe your mom cares about you, but she doesn't express it the right way. my mom is like that. her way of communicating is to yell. and my family has come to learn (long long time ago) that that's just the way she is. it doesn't mean she doesn't love us, even if she does yell at everything we do.

it's really your judgment call. i'm not sure exactly just how horrible the situation is. if i were you, and my parents treated me REALLY poorly, i would not do what they tell me to do. i would call it quit one day. that is, IF my parents really treated me horribly, like a child labour.

i agree that family is family after all. i would not see my family die from starvation no matter how horrible they treat me. however, being one's mom or dad does not give them the privilege to treat their kids with disrespect. everyone should be treated with respect and dignity. if the person fails to treat you that way, you don't need to "give them face" too.

good luck with everything! update me. i'm sure tomorrow will be a better day! :)

[sweet_honeydew]

I don't think this whole business mess will ever make sense to me...it never made sense in the beginning to begin with. lol.

Anyway, mom's friend confirmed she'd partner up now and I think she's coming over next week. I'll be free sooonnnnn. I think I might take 2 weeks off before I go back to my part-time job though. I've been overworked and too stressed out for the past weeks. I need some time off to actually "rest" and get my body, soul, and mind back in one piece. Or maybe I should take a longer break and go back to work in February instead so that I have some time to do some youtube work before I get busy again. lol.