(no subject)
blah. i usually dont give a fuck about guys, but last night i got really depressed, on myspace of course. i really hate myspace, it pisses me off 90% of the time. anyways...i just wish that i could find a guy i actually liked that wasn't a player. which is so weird for me to say because usually i want nothing to do with commitment. i think i've been doing a lot of growing up lately. hmmm i also and considering staying up here and going to davis. which i pretty much want to do, but i sorta want to get away from all the boys up here, because good ones dont exsist. it sucks. last night i had horrible dreams about my mom and i dying on an airplane. and then this morning when i told her she was freaked out cuz she had a dream about me being stabbed in my bed last night. then i also had this weird dream where i was trying to save all these little toddlers from these child molesters who basically turned them into obedient sex slaves. and well, i failed in my dream. it was really bizarre, and i even fell asleep sober. which sucks because i really can't ever sleep sober anymore. i don't even know. i really am trying to figure out my life right now. its super stressing. my mom says i can get a puppy if i stay here. its funny i think she's pretending like she doesn't care what i do, but then she really wants me to stay. pppppsssshhhhhh well i need guidance, and help picking out a puppy.