An Open Letter to Russian hotties

[sweenerswieners]

Evgeni Malkin,

I am dissatisfied with your big lurpy face on my door every time I leave my room. Sure, you're Russian, and that's sexy, but your face is goofy and I will just have to fantasize about doing you in the lockerroom with a bag over your face. Except your mouth. I need to talk to me in Russian. Probably for other things, too.

Love,

Comments

[codenameheather]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh kate sweeney. JB and I both loled at this entry.

I would do Malkin sans-face bag. I kind of think his big lurpy face is endearing. He has a decent smile. I would also desire for him to talk dirty to me in russian.

[sweenerswieners]

I am sometimes hilarious.

He doesn't necessarily have to talk dirty to me in Russian, as I wouldn't know the difference, anyways. As long as he makes it sound AGGRESSIVE.

[sweenerswieners]

I am part Russian as well! We could have so many sexy times!