I don't understand

[sweeetpeaches]

I don't understand why I am still upset/bent out of shape/mad, hell I'm not even sure what I feel, I just know I am not happy with my husband. And it's stupid. I'm mad because he didn't come to bed until after 5 this morning.

I woke up at about 5 after 5 this morning and he wasn't in bed so I came upstairs to find him. He was on the computer. He

Comments

I KNOW how you feel!!!

[gumonyershoe]

I go through this a LOT with Rob. And I do the same thing. I get really angry and don't want to talk with him or have anything to do with him. Totally give him "the silent treatment" or whatever.

For me, it's because he knows I sleep better if he's at least in the bed with me. We have a laptop so he really doesn't have an excuse there other than it isn't quite as good for his games as his desktop computer is.

I usually end up feeling really guilty because usually the reason he stays up all night is if he is having bowel/stomach issues and so he didn't want to wake me up by getting up every little bit to use the bathroom. Thing is, that usually him getting up doesn't phase me.

But yeah, so I get upset and depressed and just want to cry. It's frustrating also because a lot of times he's playing games. But sometimes he at least used to be up chatting with people (including ex girlfriends and other girls that he admitted he used to be attracted to). And it isn't that I don't trust him, but the thought that he'd rather chat with people (or play online games with his friends) rather than keeping his wife warm and comforted in bed... it didn't sit well. So, when he started playing WoW I implemented a rule (after similar frustration of him being up all night playing the game and not coming to bed until I was getting up to go to work) that he has to at least be in bed by 2am. If he brings the laptop, fine. but he has to actually be in bed by 2. I don't know what the consequence or punishment is necessarily... I guess he doesn't get to sleep with me the next night and I'll sleep in the spare bedroom and lock the door or something. But so far that has worked. there have been a couple times where he's come to bed a few minutes after 2 and he's had such a guilty conscience that it has done better than any actual punishment i could ever come up with.

Anyway, know you're not alone. Also, know that you have better reason to be upset with him since lack of sleep does have an effect on HIM and HIS health.

I don't have any suggestions for you though. It does sound like he knows that he has hurt you and hopefully that will be enough to start him coming to bed with you at a more appropriate time. Or at the very least once you're feeling able to, you can talk with him and express all your feelings about it and maybe he has an explanation as to why he didn't come to bed.

Re: I KNOW how you feel!!!

[sweeetpeaches]

Heck, Tom has the Game Cube set up on his nightstand but he still judt sits upstairs. I just want him to come to bed at a decent hour, I wake him up at around 10 no matter what.

At least I'm not the only one. I just hate feeling like his Mom, telling him when to go to bed and when to get up. That bothers me a lot.

He's getting better, lately the latest it's been is about 3:30, and he's been getting up by 10:30.

Re: I KNOW how you feel!!!

[gumonyershoe]

yeah that's the thing with me. I don't want it to seem like I'm trying to be "mom."

That's good that it's getting better.