And I'm not even with the kids yet.
I wish day one were here, then at least I know emotionally I would feel somewhat better.
The depression is starting to kick in, I'm easily irritated. I cried driving Liz to school this morning because I didn't think to ask Tom to come, he got home early and it just would have been nice to have two hours together. We talked over breakfast about how hard dinner and after dinner s for me and he gets mad because I don't make sure they get all of their chores done, but at the same time I am trying to get the boys in bed, it's hard for me and I am trying to wrestle the boys and I'm tired of fighting with the girls, so I don't "make them" do their chores, then sometimes I let them stay up past bedtime and watch TV even when they haven't done chores, and he just doesn't get that it isn't worth the arguing for me and I can't deal. If I had help...he used to get and have dinner with us, and supervise the girls while I got the boys ready, I just can't do it all.
I called him later and asked him to change his sleep schedule around and help me out like we talked about and I would ask someone to watch James on the two days I wasn't home, but his excuse was he just can't sleep. I got mad at Tom for not agreeing to work with me and try to get to bed earlier so he can get up earlier and help me out with the kids at the most stressful time of the day like he used to. Now of course I'm feeling down because I got mad at him.
*sigh* I feel like I can't win for losing.
Last night one of the girls asked me if I stopped taking my anti-depressants, I told her I was never on an anti-depressant it was a mood stabilizer and yes, I had quite some time ago. This doesn't help. I am considering getting it filled again.
That's all for now, gotta get to class.
The depression is starting to kick in, I'm easily irritated. I cried driving Liz to school this morning because I didn't think to ask Tom to come, he got home early and it just would have been nice to have two hours together. We talked over breakfast about how hard dinner and after dinner s for me and he gets mad because I don't make sure they get all of their chores done, but at the same time I am trying to get the boys in bed, it's hard for me and I am trying to wrestle the boys and I'm tired of fighting with the girls, so I don't "make them" do their chores, then sometimes I let them stay up past bedtime and watch TV even when they haven't done chores, and he just doesn't get that it isn't worth the arguing for me and I can't deal. If I had help...he used to get and have dinner with us, and supervise the girls while I got the boys ready, I just can't do it all.
I called him later and asked him to change his sleep schedule around and help me out like we talked about and I would ask someone to watch James on the two days I wasn't home, but his excuse was he just can't sleep. I got mad at Tom for not agreeing to work with me and try to get to bed earlier so he can get up earlier and help me out with the kids at the most stressful time of the day like he used to. Now of course I'm feeling down because I got mad at him.
*sigh* I feel like I can't win for losing.
Last night one of the girls asked me if I stopped taking my anti-depressants, I told her I was never on an anti-depressant it was a mood stabilizer and yes, I had quite some time ago. This doesn't help. I am considering getting it filled again.
That's all for now, gotta get to class.