[FIC] Cold Heart
Title : Cold Heart
Author : jung_hyeri
Rating : PG-13 for character death
Character/Pairing : Hankyung/Kibum
Word Count : 2,874
Author’s note : When my plotbunny turned into a dustbunny, music_loner gave me a new one that didn’t turn out to be a dustbunny in the end. Thanks, bb!
This fic was written for runawayxxlovee’s Prompt Fic Challenge.
Surrounded by a blanket of white snow, two lovers lay, one of which was coloring the beautiful landscape red, trying dreadfully to keep the cold from taking over his body. He was getting weaker and weaker though, as the blood drained from the deep gash in his side, stealing bits and bits of the light from his dark brown eyes.
“I’m sorry I won’t be able to keep my promise.”
One final heartbreaking smile and then he was gone, the light in his eyes extinguished. The younger of the two sat up and pulled his lover's body into his arms, throwing his head back with a cry of combined rage and grief.
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The beginning of the end had started innocuously enough - Hankyung was nervous at lunch, picking at his food before giving up and shoving the tray away, only for it to be grabbed by Shindong, one of their friends who loved food and hated to see it go to waste. Kibum stared at him, daring him to look up and meet his eyes with that gaze, but he should have known better.
"I'm not feeling well," Hankyung announced suddenly and stood up, pushing his chair back. The grinding noise grated on Kibum's nerves but he stood as well and made his way to his lover's side, his arms instantly going around Hankyung.
Kibum couldn't hide the worry from his face or his words as he tried to find out what was bothering the older man.
"Are...are you ok?" he asked finally as they walked slowly down the hallway to their lockers and stopped in front of them.
Hankyung sighed and finally looked up, startling Kibum with the pain in his eyes.
"I....got accepted. I leave this weekend," he said quietly before looking down again as Kibum's arms withdrew.
"Congratulations," Kibum said automatically, a sad smile on his face and the beginnings of tears in his eyes. "You'll...you'll have a great time..."
He'd known this moment would come but hadn't expected it so soon. He'd even helped Hankyung with the application to the dance school he had now been accepted to, some part of his mind not even contemplating that it would mean their separation.
"Kibum, please..." Hankyung whispered, his hands shaking. "Don't make this hard...I wish you could come with me but...you have your studies here and..."
Hankyung wanted nothing more than to have Kibum come with him, but they both knew it was impossible. The older man was going back home to the dance school he'd dreamed of attending since he was a child and bringing a foreigner was out of the question, especially if said foreigner was found to be his lover. Kibum knew that as well as Hankyung did.
"I know that," Kibum snapped, his heart breaking. "I just...I don't know if I can do this, y'know? If you're not here...what's going to happen...to us?"
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He'd been right to be afraid, Kibum thought as yet another taunt made its way to his ears, his head down as he tried his best not to let his tormentors see the effect they were having on him. As it was, it was a struggle for him to go to school every day and face them, knowing that without his lover and protector, there was no way for him to avoid the ordeal.
Of course Kibum had his friends who did what they could for him, but they were all in separate classes and schools and couldn't be with him every hour of every day. This left plenty of time for him to be teased and picked on.
A book hit him in the head and fell heavily to the floor, making him blink back tears of pain.
"Gonna run off and tell your lover, pretty boy?" a male voice called out as the crowd around him laughed at the taunt. "Oh, I forgot! He's not here, is he? What are you going to do now, go back to America? You know they kill gays there, don't you?"
As Kibum looked at the floor, tears burning in his eyes, he felt an arm around his shoulders and almost threw it off before a familiar (and friendly) voice interrupted the insults.
"Leave him alone," Donghae shouted angrily, waving his free arm at the other students, some of whom suddenly found other things interesting and started to disperse. The main group of Kibum's tormentors stayed behind, however, smirking at the new target.
"Found a new boyfriend so soon?" one of the girls crooned, leaning against her boyfriend and looking at her fingernails in amusement. "It’s really too bad. He's quite the looker...though not as cute as my boyfriend..."
As if to illustrate her point, she pulled her boyfriend's head down for a kiss that had some of the others hooting and hollering, then released him with another smirk, licking her lips.
"Shame. You don't know what you're missing," she grinned with just a hint of malicious mockery behind her words.
"So what if he has?" Donghae retorted, slightly annoyed by her words. He wasn't gay, but it didn't matter to him that one of his best friends was. To him, all that mattered was the personality, not the sexual preference. Donghae wasn't going to let them torment Kibum any more than he could help.
Tightening his arm around Kibum's shoulders and ignoring his whispered pleas to stop, Donghae glared at the ringleaders.
"It shouldn't matter whether he prefers girls or boys," Donghae continued. "I like Kibum because he's my friend, which is something none of you can boast."
"Which is a shame really," he smirked at the girl, throwing her words back at her. "You don't know what you're missing."
Her eyes narrowed but before she could say anything, the bell rang for class and everyone melted away but not before glaring daggers at both Kibum and Donghae.
Kibum turned to Donghae with a sigh. "Thanks for trying to help but I think they've decided you're a target now too," he said quietly, gathering up his things from where they'd fallen on the floor when the book hit him. "I do appreciate it but...I can't let you suffer because of me..."
Donghae chuckled and hugged him gently before putting a finger under his chin to lift his head up so he could look into the younger boy's eyes.
"Kibum, nobody deserves to be picked on like that. Not you, not anyone. I can't let it go when it involves my friends," he explained softly, hoping his words would get through to Kibum that he wasn't alone. "I know there's not much I can do, but I will do whatever I can to help."
"Thanks, Donghae," Kibum finally smiled.
It was a small, barely there smile, but a smile all the same. It made Donghae feel like the sun was starting to come back after a bit of rain and warmed him. After patting Kibum on the back, he left to find Eunhyuk.
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Just as Kibum had warned, the bullies soon made Donghae (and then Eunhyuk) their target, but unlike Kibum, Donghae didn't let it get him down. He and Eunhyuk continued to look out for him wherever they could despite the insults hurled at them and he was grateful to them for their friendship, but eventually things got so bad he took to avoiding everyone, even his friends.
Kibum sat alone on the roof with his schoolbooks, reading the latest letter from Hankyung over and over again with tears running silently down his face. He missed his lover more than ever but would never tell him so. It would make him feel even worse about his decision to take up the scholarship at the dance school in China; perhaps so much so that he'd come back to Korea and lose everything he'd worked so hard for. That was something Kibum couldn't allow to be on his conscience.
Kibum,
I got a letter today from Donghae and I'm worried about you. I know things haven't been easy for you and wish I could be there, but things have been so busy here that I haven't been able to do much other than call or write whenever I have some spare time. I'm really sorry.
I miss you so much. It makes my heart ache just thinking about it. I'm hoping that when there's a break at school, I can come visit you. Or maybe you could come here. What do you think?
Ah, I have to go. My teacher is so strict it's not even funny. Wish me luck!
Hankyung
Suddenly Kibum’s solitude was broken by harsh ringing laughter as a hand reached out and snatched Hankyung’s letter from him, reading it out loud in a mocking voice. Snickers accompanied the reading, the onlookers egging the young man on as he then ripped the letter to shreds and threw it into the air, the pieces floating away on the early afternoon breeze as Kibum stood in mute horror and anguish.
“You’re such a pathetic loser, Kibum,” the young man smirked, noticing the devastated expression on Kibum’s face.
“Getting all worked up over a stupid letter like that? Really disappointed in you, y'know, Kibum,” he spoke to the group with his hands outspread as they laughed and jeered. "It sure seems like your lover's getting on quite fine without you, wouldn't you say? He doesn't even seem to be missing you. Though can't really say the same about you..."
Smacking one of his friends in the chest, he gestured for them to leave.
“Let’s go before he starts to cry any more on us. I don't want him to get my shirt all dirty,” he chuckled as one of the others began to make fun of Kibum's tears as they turned to go, filing down the stairs.
As they left, they barred the door behind them, effectively trapping Kibum on the rooftop. Nobody else knew he was there apart from them and panic began to overtake his tears as he realised he was likely to be stuck there for quite some time. Suddenly his phone rang at the same time as he could hear a banging from behind the closed door.
"Kibum? Are you ok?"
Donghae and Eunhyuk burst through the door just as he answered the phone and he held up one hand for them to wait for him. They nodded and stood off to the side to give him a little privacy, starting some kind of impromptu dance competition between themselves while they waited.
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"Hello?"
"Kibum? What's wrong?"
It was Hankyung. That voice made him want to cry again but he held back his tears and tried to pretend nothing was wrong.
"Nothing, I'm fine. Why are you calling me?" he asked in a rush, hoping his lover wouldn't be able to hear the lie in his voice.
"You don't want me to call?" Hankyung asked in a wry voice, his worry increasing as he heard Kibum's voice. It didn't sound like things were normal to him and despite his busy schedule, he was going to press the issue this time. He'd ignored Kibum's needs long enough and it was making him feel guilty.
"No....Well, I do, but....you know what I mean," Kibum answered in exasperation, his tone more normal now that he'd gotten a grip on himself.
It helped that Donghae and Eunhyuk were now playing some kind of JanKenPon game in the background as they waited for him to finish on the phone, Donghae quite clearly losing the majority of the games and making silly faces. He glanced every once in a while at Kibum and smiled hopefully.
"Kibum. Please, what's wrong?"
Hankyung's voice was gentle, hoping that his lover would confide in him as he used to do when he was still there to protect and care for him. The fact that he'd stopped telling him what was happening broke his heart.
"Hankyung, I'm ok. Really," Kibum replied, his tone strained. "I...I should go. Donghae and Eunhyuk are waiting for me..."
"No, Kibum. I can't let this go. Something is wrong and it hurts me that you won't tell me anything any more. Even if I can't be there physically, I still want to help..." Hankyung hoped that the pain and guilt in his voice would make Kibum talk to him; he didn't know what else to do, especially after Donghae's letters telling him about the abuse that had only gotten worse since he'd returned to China. If Kibum wasn't going to tell him anything...
"Hankyung...it's not anything you can help with," Kibum's tears threatened to resurface as he felt and heard the worry, pain, and love in his lover's voice. "It's just the usual...and I don't know what to do any more. If Donghae and his friends hadn't been there..."
Choking on a sob, he hung up on Hankyung and turned away from the worried eyes of his friends, doing his best to regain his equilibrium so he could face them with a smile. He felt bad that he'd hung up on Hankyung but he just couldn't face talking about it any more; Kibum preferred to forget the whole issue had ever happened.
"Kibum...it'll be ok. We'll work something out," Eunhyuk whispered, the two friends sneaking up on him while he wasn't looking and putting their arms around him.
Letting himself be embraced for a moment, Kibum pulled back when his phone rang again. It was Hankyung, probably wanting to know why he'd hung up on him. Sighing, he answered it again.
"Hello..."
"Kibum, are you ok? Did something happen? You were cut off...."
The worry in Hankyung's voice was apparent and it made Kibum feel even worse for hanging up on him.
"I'm sorry. Nothing happened - I...I hung up on you," he said quietly, his tone sad at the knowledge that he was going to hurt the last person in the world he'd wanted to.
A moment of silence before Hankyung spoke again.
"Why?"
Kibum choked on his words, Donghae and Eunhyuk's arms around his shoulders offering him moral support. "I can't face this situation any more, Hankyung. It's....they...they tore up your letter to me today and insinuated that you were tired of me and ignoring me. It hurt even though I know it's not true."
"I don't want you to come back and have to deal with this for me. You've worked too hard to get where you are and I won't let anything ruin it...." he finished tiredly, his voice sounding defeated and worrying Hankyung so much he almost couldn't say what he wanted to.
"Kibum...you know I would give up everything for you. Even my life. You are worth more than any of this and I would give anything to be with you, to take all this pain away for you..." he began before Kibum interrupted him.
"No, you won't. You can't. Promise me you won't. PROMISE ME!"
For some unknown reason, a shiver of fear coursed through Kibum's body at the thought of losing Hankyung. It terrified him so much that he wanted the older man to promise him he wouldn't do such drastic things, no matter what.
"Hankyung, please," he begged shamelessly, uncaring that Eunhyuk and Donghae were looking at him in worry, wondering what was going on. "Please promise me you won't do anything like that. I can't live without you...if anything happened to you because of me, I'd never be able to forgive myself!"
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As Kibum knelt in the cold snow, sobbing with Hankyung's body in his arms, he knew what that shiver of fear had been. A premonition of what was to come.
Hankyung, anxious to appease Kibum, had promised he wouldn't put his life on the line for him, quit school, or any other equally drastic things that Kibum could possibly think of in the heat of his panic, but in the end, it hadn't mattered. He'd still done it anyway, and for what?
Sirens in the background told him that the ones who'd killed Hankyung had been caught, but where did that leave him? His lover and life were gone, ended by some stupid, petty grudge gone horribly wrong.
Hankyung had been visiting on a rare break from school, only to find Kibum being tormented yet again by a group of boys, this time with knives and chains. That things had escalated so much in such a short time worried him and he'd tried to intervene, only to be cut down viciously in place of Kibum. As he sank to the snow, clutching his side, he smiled gently at the younger boy.
His killers, having realised what they'd done, scattered as sirens approached but were caught regardless, their mindless reign of terror over Kibum now over but at a cost that Kibum couldn't bear. Donghae, Eunhyuk, and Kibum and Hankyung's other friends approached the sobbing boy but didn't dare separate them. Tears shone in their own eyes for the loss of their friend and they knew life was never going to be the same for Kibum, or for themselves.
Finally Kibum dried his tears, the anger overtaking the once-calm boy. This would be the beginning of the ‘new’ Kibum - his warm heart turning cold and bitter.
THE END
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