[FIC] Sing Me To Sleep ch 2
Title: Sing Me To Sleep
Author: jung_hyeri
Chapter: 2/2
Genre: Deathfic. DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T LIKE.
Summary: They find out, too late, that one of their own has been keeping a secret from them.
A/N: inspired by one of my friends' moodtheme pictures. (which, incidentally, I want to know where that's from!)
True to Han Geng's words, none of them left Heechul alone for any length of time. By arrangement with the company, everyone had their schedules cancelled for the foreseeable future and the hospital had arranged a private suite for Heechul, with several rooms available for any of the members who wanted to sleep without leaving the hospital.
It was clear to them all by that point that Heechul wasn't going to get any better and that it was only a matter of time. Kyuhyun, Han Geng, and Donghae spent the most time with him, reading to him, chatting about mundane things, playing cards and other games, and generally keeping Heechul entertained. It wasn't without tears or problems; Siwon had left and never came back after one particular outburst left him in uncontrollable tears.
When Han Geng pressed him on what had happened, Heechul refused to answer him, telling him petulantly that it was 'none of his business and if he was really that bothered, he could ask Siwon'. Sighing Han Geng settled into the chair beside the bed and just sat there silently, watching Heechul as he sulked.
"You really need to stop taking this out on the rest of us, Heechul," he finally said quietly after watching Heechul pick apart yet another fistful of tissues in agitation, leaving bits of paper strewn around the bed and floor. "It's not easy..."
"What do you expect me to say, Hankyung?" Heechul sighed tiredly, laying back on the fluffy pillows and staring up at the white ceiling. "I'm just so tired....tired of dying, tired of living, tired of everything. It hurts to see everyone tiptoeing around me like they're afraid I'm going to die at the drop of a hat, yet knowing that I could very well do that..."
Tears slipped from his eyes and fell onto the pillow, wetting it and turning it translucent as he cried silently. He knew more than any of the others just how close the end really was and it terrified him. Not the actual dying part, but leaving his friends and family behind to live without him. Heechul had thought he'd made his peace a long time before this, but it still caught him unawares with the strength of his feelings for his friends especially. They'd been through literally everything together.
Helpless at Heechul's tears, Han Geng was relieved when Sungmin slipped into the room and sat beside him, offering what comfort he could.
"Do you want me to sing for you?" he asked Heechul softly, a sad smile on his face when Heechul just nodded, still crying.
Sungmin began to sing one of SJ-KRY's ballads quietly, his voice shaky at the beginning, then louder as he lost himself in the music, Han Geng humming along in counterpoint. When he finished the first song, he moved to another one, a slightly faster SJ-T song that brought a smile to Heechul's tired face. Finally Heechul fell asleep, his body relaxing into the bed.
"Thank you, Sungmin," Han Geng whispered through his tears, finally able to cry without Heechul seeing or hearing him. He knew it upset the older man to see any of them like that, which was why he always waited until he was asleep.
Nodding, Sungmin embraced the tired Han Geng, letting him relax into his arms and patting his hair as he sobbed helplessly. "I've wanted to do that for a while now but he would never let me. I think it's not long now..." he said gently, his voice catching on a sob.
"I'm going to miss him so much," Sungmin went on as Han Geng continued to cry. "I know he's not always been easy to live with but..."
He looked at the sleeping young man in the bed, his voice choking at how thin and pale he was now, his hair dull where it had once been shiny and full of life, much like the man himself had once been. The deterioration had been surprisingly quick in the end, catching them all off guard.
As they watched Heechul sleep, the doctor came in, apologetic.
"We need to do a few tests now, so we'll need you to wait outside...." he asked them, his eyes and voice sad at the devastated expressions on their faces. He'd come to know them during Heechul's brief stay at the hospital and knew they all cared for the dying young man and it broke his heart that he'd been unable to do anything to help Heechul.
"I'll let you know when..."
Han Geng and Sungmin both nodded, wiping at their eyes as they left the room so the doctors could run whatever tests they needed to do and hoping it wouldn't take them long. They didn't like to leave Heechul alone for long just in case.
Not long after they rejoined the rest of the young men in the waiting room, the doctor came hurrying after them, gesturing urgently. Seeing the panicked expressions on their faces, he tried to reassure them.
"No, he's not...passed on yet. It's just that he's awake now, and...."
Sighing, he ran a hand through his graying hair before continuing with the words he knew they'd all been dreading. "It's time. He doesn't have very much longer now, so if you could all go in..." he said gently, trying not to wince when a few of them burst into tears right then and there.
Eeteuk passed a tired hand over his face then looked at each of them in turn. "We'll all come, thank you for letting us know..." he replied softly, his voice breaking. "Thank you...for everything. I know Heechul...appreciated it..."
Nodding, the doctor led them to Heechul's room where the young man smiled at them, a faraway look in his eyes, almost as if he were half gone already. It set Ryeowook, Donghae, Eunhyuk, and Sungmin off, their quiet tears making Heechul's heart ache. He knew that this was it and that there was still so much he wanted to say to them but was unable to in the time he had left.
"Can I ask one last favour?" he whispered, his voice a mere shadow of what it had been not even an hour before. At their nods, he smiled again and held out a hand. "Sing me to sleep?"
Breaths caught in throats as they realised what he was asking, then more floods of tears as they nodded.
"What....which song...?" Siwon asked, nearly blind from the tears he seemed to be shedding almost non-stop since Heechul's collapse.
"Miracle....please?"
"And before you start...I just want to say...thank you. For everything," Heechul whispered, his voice fading. "I love you...."
There wasn't a dry eye in the room as Heechul started singing his opening line, his voice the barest of whispers.
"Jigumkaji no obdon shiganun odumiojyo..."
Siwon took up his lines next, his voice shaking with emotion. Then Han Geng, and so on as they began to sing the chorus, their voices soft. Heechul's eyes drifted closed as the song continued, his breathing evening out, then slowing and stopping altogether as the song neared the ending.
"Life couldn't get better..."
Openly sobbing by the end, they all crowded around Heechul's bed with their heads bowed, the more religious of them saying deeply heartfelt prayers for him and for the ones he'd left behind. The hospital allowed them several hours with Heechul before they left for the dorms, holding hands and trying to console each other without words.
Heechul had left them each gifts that he'd been unaware he'd even given them and they were all grateful to him for it - the gifts of friendship, love, and strength in adversity. They would never forget him for as long as they lived, the bright-eyed, free spirited Kim Heechul.
Author: jung_hyeri
Chapter: 2/2
Genre: Deathfic. DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T LIKE.
Summary: They find out, too late, that one of their own has been keeping a secret from them.
A/N: inspired by one of my friends' moodtheme pictures. (which, incidentally, I want to know where that's from!)
True to Han Geng's words, none of them left Heechul alone for any length of time. By arrangement with the company, everyone had their schedules cancelled for the foreseeable future and the hospital had arranged a private suite for Heechul, with several rooms available for any of the members who wanted to sleep without leaving the hospital.
It was clear to them all by that point that Heechul wasn't going to get any better and that it was only a matter of time. Kyuhyun, Han Geng, and Donghae spent the most time with him, reading to him, chatting about mundane things, playing cards and other games, and generally keeping Heechul entertained. It wasn't without tears or problems; Siwon had left and never came back after one particular outburst left him in uncontrollable tears.
When Han Geng pressed him on what had happened, Heechul refused to answer him, telling him petulantly that it was 'none of his business and if he was really that bothered, he could ask Siwon'. Sighing Han Geng settled into the chair beside the bed and just sat there silently, watching Heechul as he sulked.
"You really need to stop taking this out on the rest of us, Heechul," he finally said quietly after watching Heechul pick apart yet another fistful of tissues in agitation, leaving bits of paper strewn around the bed and floor. "It's not easy..."
"What do you expect me to say, Hankyung?" Heechul sighed tiredly, laying back on the fluffy pillows and staring up at the white ceiling. "I'm just so tired....tired of dying, tired of living, tired of everything. It hurts to see everyone tiptoeing around me like they're afraid I'm going to die at the drop of a hat, yet knowing that I could very well do that..."
Tears slipped from his eyes and fell onto the pillow, wetting it and turning it translucent as he cried silently. He knew more than any of the others just how close the end really was and it terrified him. Not the actual dying part, but leaving his friends and family behind to live without him. Heechul had thought he'd made his peace a long time before this, but it still caught him unawares with the strength of his feelings for his friends especially. They'd been through literally everything together.
Helpless at Heechul's tears, Han Geng was relieved when Sungmin slipped into the room and sat beside him, offering what comfort he could.
"Do you want me to sing for you?" he asked Heechul softly, a sad smile on his face when Heechul just nodded, still crying.
Sungmin began to sing one of SJ-KRY's ballads quietly, his voice shaky at the beginning, then louder as he lost himself in the music, Han Geng humming along in counterpoint. When he finished the first song, he moved to another one, a slightly faster SJ-T song that brought a smile to Heechul's tired face. Finally Heechul fell asleep, his body relaxing into the bed.
"Thank you, Sungmin," Han Geng whispered through his tears, finally able to cry without Heechul seeing or hearing him. He knew it upset the older man to see any of them like that, which was why he always waited until he was asleep.
Nodding, Sungmin embraced the tired Han Geng, letting him relax into his arms and patting his hair as he sobbed helplessly. "I've wanted to do that for a while now but he would never let me. I think it's not long now..." he said gently, his voice catching on a sob.
"I'm going to miss him so much," Sungmin went on as Han Geng continued to cry. "I know he's not always been easy to live with but..."
He looked at the sleeping young man in the bed, his voice choking at how thin and pale he was now, his hair dull where it had once been shiny and full of life, much like the man himself had once been. The deterioration had been surprisingly quick in the end, catching them all off guard.
As they watched Heechul sleep, the doctor came in, apologetic.
"We need to do a few tests now, so we'll need you to wait outside...." he asked them, his eyes and voice sad at the devastated expressions on their faces. He'd come to know them during Heechul's brief stay at the hospital and knew they all cared for the dying young man and it broke his heart that he'd been unable to do anything to help Heechul.
"I'll let you know when..."
Han Geng and Sungmin both nodded, wiping at their eyes as they left the room so the doctors could run whatever tests they needed to do and hoping it wouldn't take them long. They didn't like to leave Heechul alone for long just in case.
Not long after they rejoined the rest of the young men in the waiting room, the doctor came hurrying after them, gesturing urgently. Seeing the panicked expressions on their faces, he tried to reassure them.
"No, he's not...passed on yet. It's just that he's awake now, and...."
Sighing, he ran a hand through his graying hair before continuing with the words he knew they'd all been dreading. "It's time. He doesn't have very much longer now, so if you could all go in..." he said gently, trying not to wince when a few of them burst into tears right then and there.
Eeteuk passed a tired hand over his face then looked at each of them in turn. "We'll all come, thank you for letting us know..." he replied softly, his voice breaking. "Thank you...for everything. I know Heechul...appreciated it..."
Nodding, the doctor led them to Heechul's room where the young man smiled at them, a faraway look in his eyes, almost as if he were half gone already. It set Ryeowook, Donghae, Eunhyuk, and Sungmin off, their quiet tears making Heechul's heart ache. He knew that this was it and that there was still so much he wanted to say to them but was unable to in the time he had left.
"Can I ask one last favour?" he whispered, his voice a mere shadow of what it had been not even an hour before. At their nods, he smiled again and held out a hand. "Sing me to sleep?"
Breaths caught in throats as they realised what he was asking, then more floods of tears as they nodded.
"What....which song...?" Siwon asked, nearly blind from the tears he seemed to be shedding almost non-stop since Heechul's collapse.
"Miracle....please?"
"And before you start...I just want to say...thank you. For everything," Heechul whispered, his voice fading. "I love you...."
There wasn't a dry eye in the room as Heechul started singing his opening line, his voice the barest of whispers.
"Jigumkaji no obdon shiganun odumiojyo..."
Siwon took up his lines next, his voice shaking with emotion. Then Han Geng, and so on as they began to sing the chorus, their voices soft. Heechul's eyes drifted closed as the song continued, his breathing evening out, then slowing and stopping altogether as the song neared the ending.
"Life couldn't get better..."
Openly sobbing by the end, they all crowded around Heechul's bed with their heads bowed, the more religious of them saying deeply heartfelt prayers for him and for the ones he'd left behind. The hospital allowed them several hours with Heechul before they left for the dorms, holding hands and trying to console each other without words.
Heechul had left them each gifts that he'd been unaware he'd even given them and they were all grateful to him for it - the gifts of friendship, love, and strength in adversity. They would never forget him for as long as they lived, the bright-eyed, free spirited Kim Heechul.