(no subject)
itz cold....*shiverz*
u no whatz weird? when music remindz u of feelingz..like..letz say ur going through ur old cdz, and u pull out an old..oh i dont no...all-american rejects cd. and almost every song..every chourd...every verse u can pin-point back to some past feeling. itz only november and thatz already happend with the new all-american rejects cd. u no that one song on the cd..track 8.."dance inside" i can pin point to the exact moment it remindz me of.
session 5, camp pinewood, senior beach. lying on the beach of lake michigan. the water flowing beside me. the heat of the sun shining down upon my face. feeling so beautiful in my sweatpantz, bakini top and black volcom tank top. i looked like a mess, but felt more happy then i think is possible for one person to feel at one point in time. matt laying beside me too. im not sure, but i think he felt it too.
therez one love wasted away.
then therez bryon..who moved away..who i could of helped. his life spinning out of control. i could of helped him. i could of atleast did something..all i did wuz love him. i really loved him. i mean i really, really loved him. itz so hard to think that i havent seen him in over 2 yearz. 2 yearz! wow...
therez another..
then just recently nick. i no it soundz stupid, but i still like him. ok i still really like him. i no itz pathedic. he'll never understand. i just dont get it. how can i like him so much if we didnt even go out for very long? how could he tell me all those thingz then change his mind so quickly? and how could he of been such an asshole? i think i wuz more upset with the thingz he said and did then i wuz when he actually broke up with me. i wont get it back either...i dont want to love again. i dont want another guy at all...
i just want my faith back..