dot dot dot
dot dot dot...
me and nick broke up..at first..i wuz devasated to say the least. sunday night...i was up till 1 in the moring balling my eyes out..and my mom had to come in my room to tell me to shuttup. i even told her what wuz going on..thinking maybe she'd understand..wow am i a dumbass.."did you actually think he liked you all that much?"
i told you she's a bitch..
now im sick..i stayed home today..went to the doctor..got an antibiotic. i feel like complete shit. its so hard. ive lost my best friend (andrea) over..a guy..and false rumors. all these mixed feelings...mixing up. im not quite sure what to think anymore. cuz..almost...like..my feelings are now chosen for me as well. all the guys that told me what to think..when to think it..to move on to someone else..that they werent right for them..and every time each one shoved me away..and the onez that didnt werent right either..all the false lies that my friends and everyone told me to disprove for them. and now..i dont have emotion. "ur hurting everyone else, dont do it" "dont give a damn about me, im too good for you" "you're a bitch. i can't trust you!"
i remember all the negative words spoken to me...
...and the broken silence of bliss..
"Crazy skies are wild above me now
Winter howling at my face
And everything I held so dear
Disappeared without a trace
Though all the times i tasted love
Never knew quiete what i had
Little darlin if you hear me now
Never needed you so bad
Spinning round inside my head"
-David Gray