(still) into you
the fallout
kibum/yoona;
pg-13; romance- hurt; ~2,400words
Their story begins when the whole class decided to do their class drama practice overnight.
*
Their story begins when the whole class decided to do their class drama practice overnight.
The main actors and actresses of the drama read their script onstage, a little bit uneasy as it’s their first try in acting. It is the first and going to be their last general practice since tomorrow night, the presentation will begin. At the front row sits the director, shouting a “cut!” with a disapproved look on her face. She scratches her head in annoyance and heads her way up the stage.
“You don’t need to be too harsh on the younger ones, Taeyeon. They are not drama majors.” Leeteuk says, his voice a little bit louder so she would hear him from the right side of the theatre room with the other people assigned to the props and backdrops.
Taeyeon hears him clearly, turns, and just gives him a look, telling him she knows that and he needs not to announce it to everyone.
As the only art student in the class (they already feel fortunate enough to have one because as what they have heard from the other classes, having an art student around is an advantage because an art student knows what and how to do things), Taeyeon calmly shares her opinion on their drama abilities and how they can improve it. She gives tips and tricks on how to effectively captivate the audience through voice projection, proper gestures, and effective expressions.
The little Kim Taeyeon sighs as she goes back to her seat because they are still on the second page of their play and there are a lot more to go.
“Let me help you with that.” Leeteuk offers his help to a freshman working alone on the backdrop assigned for scene two.
“Thanks.” She mutters softly as he gets hold of the paint brush while she takes her long- awaited break.
“Why did you turn down the main role? The whole class thought you’d be able to handle the role perfectly.”
“I don’t think I can. I might just disappoint everyone. And I’m…. a bit busy with school work, too. You know, Biology stuffs.” She tells him. “I even thought that History is going to be an easy subject. With lesser requirements. That’s the reason why I chose this as an elective. I was wrong.”
Yoona shakes her head, laughing together with Leeteuk.
Leeteuk then starts to tell her some useful tips she can use on her stay in the university based on the experiences he had as a senior, Yoona intently listens, but just then, a junior student surprises him by the back.
“Hey, Kibum. Taeyeon gave you a break? Already?”
“I think, our director is in serious depression now. We’re not good enough.” Kibum just smiles at the two of them.
“But I told her no one in the class is an art major and it doesn’t matter if we’re going to have a drama as attractive as a math book. Our professor doesn’t mind at all as long as there is humor or whatever. Wait, I’ll just go and remind her.” Leeteuk stands up and immediately goes where his only batchmate in this class is, while Kibum and Yoona remains awkwardly together in silence.
They know each other by name (because they are in the same class for more than three months now) but the two were never introduced to each other formally. Kibum is a junior student while Yoona is a freshman (and unlike Leeteuk, Kibum is not a friendly person).
So they sit together in silence in which Kibum decides to use his fifteen- minute break on helping his hoobae, between them are the props keeping the two of them busy, without meeting each other’s gazes and mentioning nothing else but “Can you pass me the blue paint?” or “Shall I add more?” or the likes.
But neither the two expect that it would be the start of something more.
Three days after their presentation (which was very successful that Taeyeon cried at the end of the performance), Kibum texted her with a message; a cute smiley at the beginning together with a cute note after, telling Yoona he got her number from the student information which he got from Taeyeon and asking her not to freak out.
Kibum and Yoona started to exchange text messages since then (and he thought it is a bad thing he only got the courage to actually befriend her when the class has ended; Yoona thought otherwise though because she likes this more, getting to know him more without actually getting embarrassed approaching him in class).
They meet along crowded hallways from time to time; the two just exchange shy smiles at each other.
Only two months had passed since the second semester started for this academic year and Yoona is a little bit surprised (and confused even) whenever Kibum sends her sweet text messages. She realizes that it has only been five months ago when she and Kibum started to exchange text messages.
“I can’t believe a junior student is flirting with you. Are you sure he’s not… ugh, fooling you or something? Older boys in universities usually do that to freshies, remember the last movie we watched at your house?” Yuri says after Yoona finally confessed her thoughts about Kibum to her best friend (it is not like Yuri doesn’t know about it though).
“He is a junior but no, he is not flirting. He is just… trying to know me better. And another no for that, Yuri. Kibum is not like someone who is going to play around with my feelings.”
“He is cute and pretty popular, too, but I can sense that he’s not the faithful type. I’m not in the position to judge but…. really. Kibum is really something.”
Yoona says nothing more after that. She thinks Yuri might be right…. or probably not. Neither of them knows what type of person Kibum really is but Yoona is hoping for the latter.
She sighs through her nose and instead focuses on the printed notes in front of her as she tries to memorize yesterday’s lessons just in case their professor is going to give a pop quiz.
“Oh goodness, I forgot my notes at the canteen. Yoona, I’ll borrow your notes after. I’ll just… read this novel for the mean time. Spoiler alert: Augustus is dying.” Yuri giggles as Yoona gives her a scowl. She was referring to the novel “The Fault in Our Stars” that Yoona is also in the process of finishing while Yuri is already two chapters ahead of her.
“I hate you.” Yoona pinches her best friend’s tummy, shouting a soft “aw”, and gets back to her notes.
Another month has passed before Kibum finally asks Yoona for dinner. Yoona hesitated at first because it was a Friday night and she’s supposed to start studying for an exam on Monday. All the same, she said yes.
She goes down from her room, wearing a blue dress and a two- inch sandal, her hair tied up into a neat pony tail with a soft make- up on for the night.
Yoona spot him at the Im’s living room with her daddy. Kibum sees her and gives her a smile while she looks at him apologetically, referring to the 10pm rule her father was demanding at the moment.
Kibum just smiles back and assures her father she’ll be back no more than 10 in the evening.
Yoona bids her dad a goodbye and goes on with her ever first date with Kibum.
“You are the prettiest girl I have ever seen, Yoona.” He whispers in her ears and, as usual, it sends butterflies in her tummy only he can pull off.
And just before the semester ends, Kibum and Yoona finally became an official couple.
He fetches her from home and walks her to school, shares a seat during lunch with Yoona’s best friend, texts her sweet messages as usual (even during classes, texting her ‘I love you’ at random moments, holds her hand softly and carefully as they walk, and kisses her on the cheek, sometimes on her forehead which makes her feel special and respected.
Kibum plays as her boyfriend and always make her feel butterflies in her tummy like they were already permanent.
One.
After a month, Kibum stops eating with her during lunch and tells her she deserves quality time with her best friend instead. Yoona understands and thinks they both deserve to hang out with other people, too.
Two.
Kibum stops texting her sweet messages in classes. Yoona understands and thinks they should also focus on their studies first.
Three.
Kibum walks her home sometimes from the grocery whenever she is the one in charge or from Yuri’s house whenever her best friend throws an all- girls night out but never held her hand anymore. School has ended and Yoona understands that he has his own life, too, and that not every time he’s going to be there for her.
Four.
Kibum stops seeing her every day like he had used to during the first month of summer vacation, though Yoona finds time herself for she believes that communication is the key in relationships.
Yoona finds herself trying for their relationship to work all through summer.
After a few months, Kibum and Yoona rarely see each other even when school started.
Only when they encounter each other along the crowded hallways of the university.
“Hey. See you later after class, Kibum. I miss you.” Yoona beams at him as they meet, waving her hand without stopping her track since everyone’s in a rush to get into their own classes on time.
“See you later. I miss you, too.” Kibum smiles at her, softly patting her head twice before walking past her.
Yoona exhales through her nose, frustrated, confused, miserable, then.
Yuri notices.
“Falling in love is easy.” Yoona speaks out her thoughts. “But staying in love is difficult.”
But Yoona shakes those thoughts away and smiles at herself, “I still love him though.”
Two days before their sixth monthsary, Kibum texts Yoona to meet him after classes.
“He’s not planning on breaking up with you, right?” Yuri asks her, worried that it might happen. It’s her best friend’s first relationship and she knows that it’s going to be difficult if ever. First relationships are always difiicult. First heartaches are always difficult to manage.
“I don’t think he’s going to break up with me. Real men don’t break up with their girlfriends. Especially when they are about to celebrate their monthsary.”
“Unless, they do awful things to ruin their relationship and force their girlfriends to break up with them. Oh, the boys’ tactics, I know it.” Yuri says as both walk from their last class.
“But Kibum hasn’t done awful things…. well, except for not putting effort on keeping our relationship working like he used to.” Yoona stops at her own words, which came out at the slip of the tongue, and processes the words in her mind.
“Kibum would never do such thing though.” Yoona shakes her head with a half- hearted smile on her face.
She meets him at the university’s mini- forest; the sun is starting to set and the trees starts to fade into shadows.
Yoona sits beside him in silence as she notices something when she looks into his eyes as their vision crossed each other’s.
“You can tell me, Kibum. I will understand.” She finally tells him, her voice almost failing her at the last word. Everything starts to make sense to her now. She forgot when it all started but as soon as she met his gaze, everything becomes clear: they are not for each other and she is the only one who thinks that their relationship will work after all this time.
She realizes that she’s the one trying, believing that they are in love when in reality, she just noticed it now, they are not.
“I’m really sorry.” He whispers, without meeting her gaze.
Yoona waits for him to look back but his gaze were just focused on the dirty ground below them. She waits for him to look into her eyes and say the words again.
But Kibum did not.
Yoona tries to understand, even until now.
“It’s okay, Kibum.” She speaks the words loud and clear, trying her best not to give away. “I’m okay.”
But the last word fails her as tears start to fall from her eyes, rushing down to her cheek. She immediately wipes it while Kibum notices, though not moving.
“But… can I ask the reason why?” Yoona bravely asks him, her voice faltering, not afraid of what he’s going to tell her even though she’s slightly scared it will hurt her and leave a scar on her heart that will need time to heal.
She brings back the memories she had with him, recalling back to spot the flaws she had as a girlfriend and trying to figure out what else she did wrong.
“I was… supposed to give up on you on that day-” he was referring to the day we officially became a couple “-because I got tired of waiting. I thought you were never going to… answer me. But you did. And instead of telling you that I gave up, I did not. I’m sorry. I should have told you the truth that time.”
“And the truth is…” Yoona whispers as she was unable to speak any louder as a pang of hurt starts to strike her. Her mind starts to process what he just said once again, telling her mind (and her heart) that she’d prepared for this-that she had known this would be coming…. not.
Kibum stays silent and chooses not to answer.
“And the truth is that you never loved me. Because you fell out of love since the start of our relationship.” Yoona answers for him instead, every word feels heavy on her lips as it crushes her heart bit by bit as if making sure it’s going to break into tiny pieces, shredded into bits so it would be hard for her to fix it back again.
Yoona sighs. “I’m okay.”
And that is how their story ends.
But not for Yoona, because falling in love is easy, staying in love is difficult and falling out of love, for her, seems impossible.
A/N: Please, don’t hate me (and kibum). I just feel…… so angsty for the couple rn (though this is a ‘light’ angst fic, I know). And yes, I realized that Kibum always ended up like a jerk in my fanfics. He’s actually my bias in sj and probably I’m in a love- hate relationship with him because…..
early morning text messages
chanyeol/jiyeon;
pg; romance- fluff; ~690words
But here she is, falling in love again
Jiyeon wakes up with her mp3 still playing in her ears which she forgot to remove last night. She yawns as she looks at her tablet and discovers she was too early this time. But Jiyeon was never the type to get back to sleep no matter what so she decides to go to the bathroom, take a bath, change into her usual training clothes, and head towards the kitchen.
Jiyeon sighs at the empty kitchen table as the other members are still asleep at three in the morning (they usually wake up at four to prepare).
As she was not used with silence and being lonely, a thought about waking Eunjung up enters Jiyeon’s mind. She’d love to drag her out of her bed and laugh at her dreamy expression and make fun of her, too (and thought she’d finally have her sweet revenge). And then she’ll cook Eunjung’s favorite breakfast as a prize for staying up with her so early in the morning. Jiyeon expects the nagging and complaints of her dear friend but she thinks it is okay because she’ll just laugh it off to tease her more.
But Eunjung needs rest as everyone does. I deserve one, too. It’s too bad I can’t even get the rest that I need in my sleep.
Jiyeon sighs another one as she plumps herself on a chair, a pack of junk foods and a bottle of soda in her hands. “The prize of being the earliest.” She smiles proudly at herself for she can finally boast to Qri that she, too, was able to sneak junk foods without her manager finding it out.
“Already up at a very unusual time. Princess Jiyeon likes to sleep but can’t…….. sad sad sad.”
Jiyeon smiles at herself before sending her message.
As much as she doesn’t want her manager finding out T-Ara sneaking some junk foods in without their consent (something idols usually don’t do), Jiyeon, with the help of all the gods and goddesses she prays to every night, never wants for her manager to find out her secret relationship with another idol.
She already had been in a relationship with a popular star almost three years ago. It did not last long, just two months or so. He told her it won’t work out and that he had given up trying (and just because he is afraid of getting busted, ruining his image). She got hurt a lot because of that, the butterflies that once made her feel magical whenever he touches her hand turned into hate now. And from then on, she swore to self never to fall in love again.
But here she is, falling in love again.
“So shall we go for a jog, then, at the nearest park near your dorm? I’ll try to get there as soon as I can to cheer you up, my Princess.”
Jiyeon smiles at Chanyeol’s reply (and surprised since she did not expect for that sleepy head to also be up at this hour) and texts her answer back, “You don’t need to. I’ll leave in a few minutes to practice by myself. For T-Ara’s comeback :P :)))) Besides, you got, like, awesome paparazzis. Other idol groups never had pictures-outside-SM pics as much as Exo had. Ninja fans can bust us out. Kkkkkk~”
“Pffft. I’ll just sing for you, then. I’m a better singer than Kyungsoo, actually :P ”
Jiyeon shakes her head laughing as she answers her phone that rings only a few moments after he sends the message, “Hey….”
There is no assurance as to what kind of future awaits the two of them, if T-Ara can still keep the popularity they once had or if the group can still handle the pressure from everyone else and stop from falling apart; or if Exo can keep up with the success the other groups from their company had established since the beginning and not disappoint their sunbaes, Jiyeon doesn’t know and she doesn’t care much.
Because what is important for her is the present.
She likes this. She wants to hold on to this and cherish these moments.
And nothing else matters.
22
kris/nana;
pg- 13; romance; ~830words
He apologizes even when he knows that nobody is going to hear him over the loud music.
Kris enters the club as he smells smokes and spilled liquor across the crowded room. He looks at his watch and sighs. It’s already two in the morning and yet Nana is still in this club, who is nowhere to be found at the moment, probably partying with some strangers since there is no one she can go clubbing with (she has just moved in).
He did not like the idea and Kris did not want to think of his friend dancing with some other guy so he immediately goes around the place, bumping to someone’s back and stepping into some shoes from time to time. Kris always apologizes even though he knows nobody is going to hear him even when he shouts over the loud music.
And it’s not even a good music, he thinks to himself. It is just loud and all shouting. It’s not even good to the human ear, he decides.
Just when Kris gets tired roaming around and getting sharp looks from women whom he has thought to be Nana, he finally sees her drinking some alcohol at the corner with some other guy.
Kris quickly moves towards her just in time since the guy has been starting his way towards her hips.
“Nana, we’re going home now.” He shouts over the loud music as he grabs her away from the guy.
“Hey, Kris…” Nana smiles at the sight of him and Kris swears to self she almost got him.
Nana has been so drunk, he notices it by the way she smells of alcohol and the way she turns to face him (almost falling and just twirling like a little kid), and being Nana, she appears at her sweetest whenever she’s drunk and Kris can’t help but to admire her cuteness even more (the cuteness in her that only appears when she’s drunk, since Nana, being Nana, has always been the serious one).
“You’re drunk, Nana. How long have you been here anyway? That weird bastard was trying to get you, have you even noticed that?” Kris gets too grumpy to his self. He did not want Nana to be touched or some sort. Nana is a decent woman and she deserves not to receive such things.
Nana has been dumped by her boyfriend and that’s even the only reason why she’s here in the first place.
“Nana likes to dance with Kris now,” she whispers in his ear as Kris tries to guide her out of the room.
“Obviously not.” Kris answers his own question, shaking his head in disapproval.
They are already out of the club when Kris finally loses her grip at Nana’s waist.
“But I don’t want to go home yet, Kris.” She tells him, still playing with his hair as they start to walk, with a trace of sadness in her voice.
Nana always loses balance and so Kris has to hold her close to him so she won’t fall.
“You need to rest. You still have work tomorrow morning, remember?”
Kris hears her sigh a heavy one as a soft cry follows.
“Am I horrible person, Kris? Am I that unwanted?” Nana cries softly on his shoulders.
It was her first romance and Kris knows how hard it was for her. Even at age twenty- two, Nana still feels the same way a high school student loses her first love. She is a woman, after all, and women have always this thing for first loves, since first loves are meant to last forever and first heartaches are meant to leave a scar to your heart so deep not even true love, or whatever it is, can heal it.
But Nana, being Nana, is never the one to say her thoughts and show her emotion that’s why when they broke up, she never shed a tear nor cry a complain to her friends, or to Kris.
And it’s too hard for her to keep such hurt in her eyes when all she has to do at the end of the day is to cry.
“You’re not a horrible person, Nana.” Kris whispers, “You are still the nicest person I ever know even though you love to tease my korean accent. You have the purest heart and I’m more than lucky to be one of your friends. And no, you are not unwanted, Nana. You may not see me as someone more than your friend, but I am willing to stay at your side forever even just as a friend.”
Kris sighs. “He does not deserve you, Nana.”
Confessing his feelings just because Kris is sure Nana will not remember any of this tomorrow, Kris feels more than miserable for not having the guts to confess his feelings.
And Kris feels more upset that he would not able to have the confidence to confess his feelings to her and risk their friendship.
Because Kris, being Kris, values friendship more than anything else in this world.
And just because Kris, being Kris, values Nana’s happiness more than his.
Additional three fics for Lynde's birthday (very laaaaaaaaate addtnl bday fics) because i still feel guilty for not being able to attend your party ;;;
-val
kibum/yoona;
pg-13; romance- hurt; ~2,400words
Their story begins when the whole class decided to do their class drama practice overnight.
*
Their story begins when the whole class decided to do their class drama practice overnight.
The main actors and actresses of the drama read their script onstage, a little bit uneasy as it’s their first try in acting. It is the first and going to be their last general practice since tomorrow night, the presentation will begin. At the front row sits the director, shouting a “cut!” with a disapproved look on her face. She scratches her head in annoyance and heads her way up the stage.
“You don’t need to be too harsh on the younger ones, Taeyeon. They are not drama majors.” Leeteuk says, his voice a little bit louder so she would hear him from the right side of the theatre room with the other people assigned to the props and backdrops.
Taeyeon hears him clearly, turns, and just gives him a look, telling him she knows that and he needs not to announce it to everyone.
As the only art student in the class (they already feel fortunate enough to have one because as what they have heard from the other classes, having an art student around is an advantage because an art student knows what and how to do things), Taeyeon calmly shares her opinion on their drama abilities and how they can improve it. She gives tips and tricks on how to effectively captivate the audience through voice projection, proper gestures, and effective expressions.
The little Kim Taeyeon sighs as she goes back to her seat because they are still on the second page of their play and there are a lot more to go.
“Let me help you with that.” Leeteuk offers his help to a freshman working alone on the backdrop assigned for scene two.
“Thanks.” She mutters softly as he gets hold of the paint brush while she takes her long- awaited break.
“Why did you turn down the main role? The whole class thought you’d be able to handle the role perfectly.”
“I don’t think I can. I might just disappoint everyone. And I’m…. a bit busy with school work, too. You know, Biology stuffs.” She tells him. “I even thought that History is going to be an easy subject. With lesser requirements. That’s the reason why I chose this as an elective. I was wrong.”
Yoona shakes her head, laughing together with Leeteuk.
Leeteuk then starts to tell her some useful tips she can use on her stay in the university based on the experiences he had as a senior, Yoona intently listens, but just then, a junior student surprises him by the back.
“Hey, Kibum. Taeyeon gave you a break? Already?”
“I think, our director is in serious depression now. We’re not good enough.” Kibum just smiles at the two of them.
“But I told her no one in the class is an art major and it doesn’t matter if we’re going to have a drama as attractive as a math book. Our professor doesn’t mind at all as long as there is humor or whatever. Wait, I’ll just go and remind her.” Leeteuk stands up and immediately goes where his only batchmate in this class is, while Kibum and Yoona remains awkwardly together in silence.
They know each other by name (because they are in the same class for more than three months now) but the two were never introduced to each other formally. Kibum is a junior student while Yoona is a freshman (and unlike Leeteuk, Kibum is not a friendly person).
So they sit together in silence in which Kibum decides to use his fifteen- minute break on helping his hoobae, between them are the props keeping the two of them busy, without meeting each other’s gazes and mentioning nothing else but “Can you pass me the blue paint?” or “Shall I add more?” or the likes.
But neither the two expect that it would be the start of something more.
Three days after their presentation (which was very successful that Taeyeon cried at the end of the performance), Kibum texted her with a message; a cute smiley at the beginning together with a cute note after, telling Yoona he got her number from the student information which he got from Taeyeon and asking her not to freak out.
Kibum and Yoona started to exchange text messages since then (and he thought it is a bad thing he only got the courage to actually befriend her when the class has ended; Yoona thought otherwise though because she likes this more, getting to know him more without actually getting embarrassed approaching him in class).
They meet along crowded hallways from time to time; the two just exchange shy smiles at each other.
Only two months had passed since the second semester started for this academic year and Yoona is a little bit surprised (and confused even) whenever Kibum sends her sweet text messages. She realizes that it has only been five months ago when she and Kibum started to exchange text messages.
“I can’t believe a junior student is flirting with you. Are you sure he’s not… ugh, fooling you or something? Older boys in universities usually do that to freshies, remember the last movie we watched at your house?” Yuri says after Yoona finally confessed her thoughts about Kibum to her best friend (it is not like Yuri doesn’t know about it though).
“He is a junior but no, he is not flirting. He is just… trying to know me better. And another no for that, Yuri. Kibum is not like someone who is going to play around with my feelings.”
“He is cute and pretty popular, too, but I can sense that he’s not the faithful type. I’m not in the position to judge but…. really. Kibum is really something.”
Yoona says nothing more after that. She thinks Yuri might be right…. or probably not. Neither of them knows what type of person Kibum really is but Yoona is hoping for the latter.
She sighs through her nose and instead focuses on the printed notes in front of her as she tries to memorize yesterday’s lessons just in case their professor is going to give a pop quiz.
“Oh goodness, I forgot my notes at the canteen. Yoona, I’ll borrow your notes after. I’ll just… read this novel for the mean time. Spoiler alert: Augustus is dying.” Yuri giggles as Yoona gives her a scowl. She was referring to the novel “The Fault in Our Stars” that Yoona is also in the process of finishing while Yuri is already two chapters ahead of her.
“I hate you.” Yoona pinches her best friend’s tummy, shouting a soft “aw”, and gets back to her notes.
Another month has passed before Kibum finally asks Yoona for dinner. Yoona hesitated at first because it was a Friday night and she’s supposed to start studying for an exam on Monday. All the same, she said yes.
She goes down from her room, wearing a blue dress and a two- inch sandal, her hair tied up into a neat pony tail with a soft make- up on for the night.
Yoona spot him at the Im’s living room with her daddy. Kibum sees her and gives her a smile while she looks at him apologetically, referring to the 10pm rule her father was demanding at the moment.
Kibum just smiles back and assures her father she’ll be back no more than 10 in the evening.
Yoona bids her dad a goodbye and goes on with her ever first date with Kibum.
“You are the prettiest girl I have ever seen, Yoona.” He whispers in her ears and, as usual, it sends butterflies in her tummy only he can pull off.
And just before the semester ends, Kibum and Yoona finally became an official couple.
He fetches her from home and walks her to school, shares a seat during lunch with Yoona’s best friend, texts her sweet messages as usual (even during classes, texting her ‘I love you’ at random moments, holds her hand softly and carefully as they walk, and kisses her on the cheek, sometimes on her forehead which makes her feel special and respected.
Kibum plays as her boyfriend and always make her feel butterflies in her tummy like they were already permanent.
One.
After a month, Kibum stops eating with her during lunch and tells her she deserves quality time with her best friend instead. Yoona understands and thinks they both deserve to hang out with other people, too.
Two.
Kibum stops texting her sweet messages in classes. Yoona understands and thinks they should also focus on their studies first.
Three.
Kibum walks her home sometimes from the grocery whenever she is the one in charge or from Yuri’s house whenever her best friend throws an all- girls night out but never held her hand anymore. School has ended and Yoona understands that he has his own life, too, and that not every time he’s going to be there for her.
Four.
Kibum stops seeing her every day like he had used to during the first month of summer vacation, though Yoona finds time herself for she believes that communication is the key in relationships.
Yoona finds herself trying for their relationship to work all through summer.
After a few months, Kibum and Yoona rarely see each other even when school started.
Only when they encounter each other along the crowded hallways of the university.
“Hey. See you later after class, Kibum. I miss you.” Yoona beams at him as they meet, waving her hand without stopping her track since everyone’s in a rush to get into their own classes on time.
“See you later. I miss you, too.” Kibum smiles at her, softly patting her head twice before walking past her.
Yoona exhales through her nose, frustrated, confused, miserable, then.
Yuri notices.
“Falling in love is easy.” Yoona speaks out her thoughts. “But staying in love is difficult.”
But Yoona shakes those thoughts away and smiles at herself, “I still love him though.”
Two days before their sixth monthsary, Kibum texts Yoona to meet him after classes.
“He’s not planning on breaking up with you, right?” Yuri asks her, worried that it might happen. It’s her best friend’s first relationship and she knows that it’s going to be difficult if ever. First relationships are always difiicult. First heartaches are always difficult to manage.
“I don’t think he’s going to break up with me. Real men don’t break up with their girlfriends. Especially when they are about to celebrate their monthsary.”
“Unless, they do awful things to ruin their relationship and force their girlfriends to break up with them. Oh, the boys’ tactics, I know it.” Yuri says as both walk from their last class.
“But Kibum hasn’t done awful things…. well, except for not putting effort on keeping our relationship working like he used to.” Yoona stops at her own words, which came out at the slip of the tongue, and processes the words in her mind.
“Kibum would never do such thing though.” Yoona shakes her head with a half- hearted smile on her face.
She meets him at the university’s mini- forest; the sun is starting to set and the trees starts to fade into shadows.
Yoona sits beside him in silence as she notices something when she looks into his eyes as their vision crossed each other’s.
“You can tell me, Kibum. I will understand.” She finally tells him, her voice almost failing her at the last word. Everything starts to make sense to her now. She forgot when it all started but as soon as she met his gaze, everything becomes clear: they are not for each other and she is the only one who thinks that their relationship will work after all this time.
She realizes that she’s the one trying, believing that they are in love when in reality, she just noticed it now, they are not.
“I’m really sorry.” He whispers, without meeting her gaze.
Yoona waits for him to look back but his gaze were just focused on the dirty ground below them. She waits for him to look into her eyes and say the words again.
But Kibum did not.
Yoona tries to understand, even until now.
“It’s okay, Kibum.” She speaks the words loud and clear, trying her best not to give away. “I’m okay.”
But the last word fails her as tears start to fall from her eyes, rushing down to her cheek. She immediately wipes it while Kibum notices, though not moving.
“But… can I ask the reason why?” Yoona bravely asks him, her voice faltering, not afraid of what he’s going to tell her even though she’s slightly scared it will hurt her and leave a scar on her heart that will need time to heal.
She brings back the memories she had with him, recalling back to spot the flaws she had as a girlfriend and trying to figure out what else she did wrong.
“I was… supposed to give up on you on that day-” he was referring to the day we officially became a couple “-because I got tired of waiting. I thought you were never going to… answer me. But you did. And instead of telling you that I gave up, I did not. I’m sorry. I should have told you the truth that time.”
“And the truth is…” Yoona whispers as she was unable to speak any louder as a pang of hurt starts to strike her. Her mind starts to process what he just said once again, telling her mind (and her heart) that she’d prepared for this-that she had known this would be coming…. not.
Kibum stays silent and chooses not to answer.
“And the truth is that you never loved me. Because you fell out of love since the start of our relationship.” Yoona answers for him instead, every word feels heavy on her lips as it crushes her heart bit by bit as if making sure it’s going to break into tiny pieces, shredded into bits so it would be hard for her to fix it back again.
Yoona sighs. “I’m okay.”
And that is how their story ends.
But not for Yoona, because falling in love is easy, staying in love is difficult and falling out of love, for her, seems impossible.
A/N: Please, don’t hate me (and kibum). I just feel…… so angsty for the couple rn (though this is a ‘light’ angst fic, I know). And yes, I realized that Kibum always ended up like a jerk in my fanfics. He’s actually my bias in sj and probably I’m in a love- hate relationship with him because…..
early morning text messages
chanyeol/jiyeon;
pg; romance- fluff; ~690words
But here she is, falling in love again
Jiyeon wakes up with her mp3 still playing in her ears which she forgot to remove last night. She yawns as she looks at her tablet and discovers she was too early this time. But Jiyeon was never the type to get back to sleep no matter what so she decides to go to the bathroom, take a bath, change into her usual training clothes, and head towards the kitchen.
Jiyeon sighs at the empty kitchen table as the other members are still asleep at three in the morning (they usually wake up at four to prepare).
As she was not used with silence and being lonely, a thought about waking Eunjung up enters Jiyeon’s mind. She’d love to drag her out of her bed and laugh at her dreamy expression and make fun of her, too (and thought she’d finally have her sweet revenge). And then she’ll cook Eunjung’s favorite breakfast as a prize for staying up with her so early in the morning. Jiyeon expects the nagging and complaints of her dear friend but she thinks it is okay because she’ll just laugh it off to tease her more.
But Eunjung needs rest as everyone does. I deserve one, too. It’s too bad I can’t even get the rest that I need in my sleep.
Jiyeon sighs another one as she plumps herself on a chair, a pack of junk foods and a bottle of soda in her hands. “The prize of being the earliest.” She smiles proudly at herself for she can finally boast to Qri that she, too, was able to sneak junk foods without her manager finding it out.
“Already up at a very unusual time. Princess Jiyeon likes to sleep but can’t…….. sad sad sad.”
Jiyeon smiles at herself before sending her message.
As much as she doesn’t want her manager finding out T-Ara sneaking some junk foods in without their consent (something idols usually don’t do), Jiyeon, with the help of all the gods and goddesses she prays to every night, never wants for her manager to find out her secret relationship with another idol.
She already had been in a relationship with a popular star almost three years ago. It did not last long, just two months or so. He told her it won’t work out and that he had given up trying (and just because he is afraid of getting busted, ruining his image). She got hurt a lot because of that, the butterflies that once made her feel magical whenever he touches her hand turned into hate now. And from then on, she swore to self never to fall in love again.
But here she is, falling in love again.
“So shall we go for a jog, then, at the nearest park near your dorm? I’ll try to get there as soon as I can to cheer you up, my Princess.”
Jiyeon smiles at Chanyeol’s reply (and surprised since she did not expect for that sleepy head to also be up at this hour) and texts her answer back, “You don’t need to. I’ll leave in a few minutes to practice by myself. For T-Ara’s comeback :P :)))) Besides, you got, like, awesome paparazzis. Other idol groups never had pictures-outside-SM pics as much as Exo had. Ninja fans can bust us out. Kkkkkk~”
“Pffft. I’ll just sing for you, then. I’m a better singer than Kyungsoo, actually :P ”
Jiyeon shakes her head laughing as she answers her phone that rings only a few moments after he sends the message, “Hey….”
There is no assurance as to what kind of future awaits the two of them, if T-Ara can still keep the popularity they once had or if the group can still handle the pressure from everyone else and stop from falling apart; or if Exo can keep up with the success the other groups from their company had established since the beginning and not disappoint their sunbaes, Jiyeon doesn’t know and she doesn’t care much.
Because what is important for her is the present.
She likes this. She wants to hold on to this and cherish these moments.
And nothing else matters.
22
kris/nana;
pg- 13; romance; ~830words
He apologizes even when he knows that nobody is going to hear him over the loud music.
Kris enters the club as he smells smokes and spilled liquor across the crowded room. He looks at his watch and sighs. It’s already two in the morning and yet Nana is still in this club, who is nowhere to be found at the moment, probably partying with some strangers since there is no one she can go clubbing with (she has just moved in).
He did not like the idea and Kris did not want to think of his friend dancing with some other guy so he immediately goes around the place, bumping to someone’s back and stepping into some shoes from time to time. Kris always apologizes even though he knows nobody is going to hear him even when he shouts over the loud music.
And it’s not even a good music, he thinks to himself. It is just loud and all shouting. It’s not even good to the human ear, he decides.
Just when Kris gets tired roaming around and getting sharp looks from women whom he has thought to be Nana, he finally sees her drinking some alcohol at the corner with some other guy.
Kris quickly moves towards her just in time since the guy has been starting his way towards her hips.
“Nana, we’re going home now.” He shouts over the loud music as he grabs her away from the guy.
“Hey, Kris…” Nana smiles at the sight of him and Kris swears to self she almost got him.
Nana has been so drunk, he notices it by the way she smells of alcohol and the way she turns to face him (almost falling and just twirling like a little kid), and being Nana, she appears at her sweetest whenever she’s drunk and Kris can’t help but to admire her cuteness even more (the cuteness in her that only appears when she’s drunk, since Nana, being Nana, has always been the serious one).
“You’re drunk, Nana. How long have you been here anyway? That weird bastard was trying to get you, have you even noticed that?” Kris gets too grumpy to his self. He did not want Nana to be touched or some sort. Nana is a decent woman and she deserves not to receive such things.
Nana has been dumped by her boyfriend and that’s even the only reason why she’s here in the first place.
“Nana likes to dance with Kris now,” she whispers in his ear as Kris tries to guide her out of the room.
“Obviously not.” Kris answers his own question, shaking his head in disapproval.
They are already out of the club when Kris finally loses her grip at Nana’s waist.
“But I don’t want to go home yet, Kris.” She tells him, still playing with his hair as they start to walk, with a trace of sadness in her voice.
Nana always loses balance and so Kris has to hold her close to him so she won’t fall.
“You need to rest. You still have work tomorrow morning, remember?”
Kris hears her sigh a heavy one as a soft cry follows.
“Am I horrible person, Kris? Am I that unwanted?” Nana cries softly on his shoulders.
It was her first romance and Kris knows how hard it was for her. Even at age twenty- two, Nana still feels the same way a high school student loses her first love. She is a woman, after all, and women have always this thing for first loves, since first loves are meant to last forever and first heartaches are meant to leave a scar to your heart so deep not even true love, or whatever it is, can heal it.
But Nana, being Nana, is never the one to say her thoughts and show her emotion that’s why when they broke up, she never shed a tear nor cry a complain to her friends, or to Kris.
And it’s too hard for her to keep such hurt in her eyes when all she has to do at the end of the day is to cry.
“You’re not a horrible person, Nana.” Kris whispers, “You are still the nicest person I ever know even though you love to tease my korean accent. You have the purest heart and I’m more than lucky to be one of your friends. And no, you are not unwanted, Nana. You may not see me as someone more than your friend, but I am willing to stay at your side forever even just as a friend.”
Kris sighs. “He does not deserve you, Nana.”
Confessing his feelings just because Kris is sure Nana will not remember any of this tomorrow, Kris feels more than miserable for not having the guts to confess his feelings.
And Kris feels more upset that he would not able to have the confidence to confess his feelings to her and risk their friendship.
Because Kris, being Kris, values friendship more than anything else in this world.
And just because Kris, being Kris, values Nana’s happiness more than his.
Additional three fics for Lynde's birthday (very laaaaaaaaate addtnl bday fics) because i still feel guilty for not being able to attend your party ;;;
-val