spring fever :(
ugh. did I ever mention I can't stand spring?
if I didn't. I can't stand spring. At least I think that's what it is.
I am so irritable right now. Partly, I think, because i did not take a day of rest this past weekend. I'm hoping after this sunday I will feel better. I will do nothing. (you hear that world!) I might do nothing at the beach... but it will still be nothing but existing. really resting.
but 'tis the season of growing things and allergies and plants sending out their sexed up vibes. I feel like i've been having a low grade panic attack since about 5 last night. I mean not like a proper panic attack..I'm not curled up in a ball or anything. but I have high anxiety. I feel really awkward, and I think my heart rate keeps increasing (I doubt it's been at a constant high since last night, but I haven't been paying attention) I also feel kind of twitchy, like I want to jump out of my skin or something.
And of course I feel like I'm doing everything incorrectly. I'm defensive, and overly apologetic. (they are not mutually exclusive, one if I feel i'm in the right and the other if I feel i'm in the wrong)
The trick is to be aware that I'm feeling like this and not snap at anyone. (possibly too late) and then on top of that keep telling myself that I'm doing ok and that darn it people in general like me and remember all the things that make me feel good so as to elevate my mood:
"Most people are searching for happiness outside of themselves. That’s a
fundamental mistake. Happiness is something you are, and it comes from the
way you think." --Wayne Dyer
of course it is easier noted than done. but I will attempt!
if I didn't. I can't stand spring. At least I think that's what it is.
I am so irritable right now. Partly, I think, because i did not take a day of rest this past weekend. I'm hoping after this sunday I will feel better. I will do nothing. (you hear that world!) I might do nothing at the beach... but it will still be nothing but existing. really resting.
but 'tis the season of growing things and allergies and plants sending out their sexed up vibes. I feel like i've been having a low grade panic attack since about 5 last night. I mean not like a proper panic attack..I'm not curled up in a ball or anything. but I have high anxiety. I feel really awkward, and I think my heart rate keeps increasing (I doubt it's been at a constant high since last night, but I haven't been paying attention) I also feel kind of twitchy, like I want to jump out of my skin or something.
And of course I feel like I'm doing everything incorrectly. I'm defensive, and overly apologetic. (they are not mutually exclusive, one if I feel i'm in the right and the other if I feel i'm in the wrong)
The trick is to be aware that I'm feeling like this and not snap at anyone. (possibly too late) and then on top of that keep telling myself that I'm doing ok and that darn it people in general like me and remember all the things that make me feel good so as to elevate my mood:
"Most people are searching for happiness outside of themselves. That’s a
fundamental mistake. Happiness is something you are, and it comes from the
way you think." --Wayne Dyer
of course it is easier noted than done. but I will attempt!