Hurray
Well if i celebrate one thing today its that someone that was very close to me has begun to open up to me again. After a month or so of the cold shoulder treatment it feels great :D I can't begin to explain how hurt i felt when i was shut out, but after nearly 4 years of the same cycle i had all but decided to admit defeat and give up on one of my best friends.
My last entry was all about me feeling sorry for myself, sad and alone. Well, i may have come up with a solution......Must be more realistic in my choice of potential blokes, instead of searching for the stunning adonis of my dreams (tall, educated, funny, attractive with no ambition to become a father!!) need to learn to settle for a bloke that breathes, has a pulse, walks on 2 feet, and has mastered the art of speech lol. Being fairly unattractive (i dont think i'm the ugliest girl i've ever come accross but i cant be far off!) i need to realise that attractive men with prospects will NOT find me attractive.
Full stop.
Something else that has been playing on my mind for weeks now is my health, and how i should look after myself more, poor sleep patterns, bad habits and stress, are all concerning me now. So i've decided to take the first step and go for a check-up. Another thing i'm planning is to get Steralized, up until my recent spate of research into the subject i had always been under the impression that unless you were a 30something with multiple sprogs they wouldn't let you have it done. However,i now find that for just £650 i can forever rid myself of my worst nightmare imaginable-the posibility of getting pregnant. The mere thought of it turns my stomach and it always has. With being under 25 i will have to go to a councelling session first, but i'm adament that this is something i have to do. I can't run the risk of ending up a sad, twisted woman like my mother who resented the fact that i was born, and robbed her of her young adulthood. A woman so misguided that she cheated on my father so much,it drove him to attempt suicide.
On a lighter note, i have the day off today (wednesday) hurray :D And i'm having a well deserved lie in!!! Must remember to find a birthday present for Dad.....yay for an excuse to shop :D
Surzy xx