Those moments
I hate moments like these...when all the house is dark and silent other than the white noise intended to pull me to sleep. I'm tired...yet I cannot sleep because too many thoughts, too much anxiety feels my mind. I could shut it down if I really wanted but it's the only form of self harm i cling too. I'm mad at me. I'm mad at the world. I cannot find the will within myself to do what's best for me. I love me....so why do i insist ? Why do so intensely need someone to love me enough for the both of us and make me take care of myself? It frustrates me to no end. In love me yet treat me so badly and in just don't know how to stop myself. It is an addictive behavior that I just cannot break.