Chihuahuas, rudeness, and dwelling on downfalls
So, I guess I cannot give up on LJ totally. I still need to vent somewhere, lest I turn homocidal. I just need to lower my expectations-- with everything.
I have been told by numerous people in my past that my expectations are to high. I never thought that expecting honesty, authenticity, fidelity, and cooperation with your loved ones was expecting too much, but apparently it was. And, if that is too much, well then surely these days my expectations are phenomenal! Not only do I expect people to be honest, but also to be ethical, and to have some modicum of consideration for others. Again, this is apparently too much to ask. People are consistently demonstrating that these qualities are rare among Americans and that most people are thoughtless, selfish, stupid clods.
I am finding that I, someone who despises humanity, am thousands of times more caring and considerate than the average person.
Case in point:
Sunday at the park I got into an altercation with some snotty little bitch because of her vicious dog. It was clear from the start that there was a problem on the horizon, when the chihuahua raced out of the car, unleashed, across the parking lot, to two women standing by their car.
I was in the dog run with Hoshi, while my boy was standing outside of it with Aries on a leash. In preparation for the inevitable meeting, I put Hoshi back on her leash. The chihuahua ran over to Aries and started attacking. The male "owner" retrieved the dog and apologized. The dog then came into the off-leash area and immediately raged at Hoshi, teeth bared, growling, snarling, nipping. I tried to pull her away from it, but the dog kept coming. My boy said to the people, "You really need to have that dog on a leash. That is not cool."
And then it started. The girl ranted about how it is a dog park and they are supposed to be off-leash and that it is my fault and my dog should not be there if it has to be on a leash, her dog couldn't possibly hurt anyone, and blah, fucking blah....
She would not listen to a word I said and I was super furious so I called her a bitch. Her man scolded me for cussing in front of a child. I called him a dick at that point and he backed off. The screaming went on for an eternity, when finally the girl told her boy to take the baby to the car because she was going to "take care of this bitch."
Honestly, I wasn't sure I'd be able to properly defend myself if she had attacked because I am so out of shape right now. I told her to leave, go, that she should not be here. Finally she left, but "not because of you, because of my daughter."
In the process of leaving, the chihuahua again attacked Aries. Her collar came off and my boy was struggling, so I rant to the rescue. The little dog then went after Hoshi again.
We finally made it to the car but it was an effort.
Anyhoo, I probably should have maintained my composure better, pretend that she was one of my students or something, but I got SO PISSED. I can hardly help myself. I have reached the end of my rope with people. I am sick to fucking death of the rude, stupid, worthless, dangerous people.
What is going on? Have people always been so mean or is this new?
And, why can I not get over this stuff? I have been thinking about this incident for days now. And it isn't the only thing I dwell on. I am continuously processing everything. I mean, I think the shit out of it all! And, I can somehow never really seem to feel better. All I see are my own failings in any given situation-- what I did wrong, what I could have done, should have done, whatever. On the rare occasions where things go well for me, I then start reading between the lines, searching exhaustively for some hidden agenda, or feeling that I have been used or lied to, duped, that something is not up to snuff...
Jesus, how do other people live with themselves?
I have been told by numerous people in my past that my expectations are to high. I never thought that expecting honesty, authenticity, fidelity, and cooperation with your loved ones was expecting too much, but apparently it was. And, if that is too much, well then surely these days my expectations are phenomenal! Not only do I expect people to be honest, but also to be ethical, and to have some modicum of consideration for others. Again, this is apparently too much to ask. People are consistently demonstrating that these qualities are rare among Americans and that most people are thoughtless, selfish, stupid clods.
I am finding that I, someone who despises humanity, am thousands of times more caring and considerate than the average person.
Case in point:
Sunday at the park I got into an altercation with some snotty little bitch because of her vicious dog. It was clear from the start that there was a problem on the horizon, when the chihuahua raced out of the car, unleashed, across the parking lot, to two women standing by their car.
I was in the dog run with Hoshi, while my boy was standing outside of it with Aries on a leash. In preparation for the inevitable meeting, I put Hoshi back on her leash. The chihuahua ran over to Aries and started attacking. The male "owner" retrieved the dog and apologized. The dog then came into the off-leash area and immediately raged at Hoshi, teeth bared, growling, snarling, nipping. I tried to pull her away from it, but the dog kept coming. My boy said to the people, "You really need to have that dog on a leash. That is not cool."
And then it started. The girl ranted about how it is a dog park and they are supposed to be off-leash and that it is my fault and my dog should not be there if it has to be on a leash, her dog couldn't possibly hurt anyone, and blah, fucking blah....
She would not listen to a word I said and I was super furious so I called her a bitch. Her man scolded me for cussing in front of a child. I called him a dick at that point and he backed off. The screaming went on for an eternity, when finally the girl told her boy to take the baby to the car because she was going to "take care of this bitch."
Honestly, I wasn't sure I'd be able to properly defend myself if she had attacked because I am so out of shape right now. I told her to leave, go, that she should not be here. Finally she left, but "not because of you, because of my daughter."
In the process of leaving, the chihuahua again attacked Aries. Her collar came off and my boy was struggling, so I rant to the rescue. The little dog then went after Hoshi again.
We finally made it to the car but it was an effort.
Anyhoo, I probably should have maintained my composure better, pretend that she was one of my students or something, but I got SO PISSED. I can hardly help myself. I have reached the end of my rope with people. I am sick to fucking death of the rude, stupid, worthless, dangerous people.
What is going on? Have people always been so mean or is this new?
And, why can I not get over this stuff? I have been thinking about this incident for days now. And it isn't the only thing I dwell on. I am continuously processing everything. I mean, I think the shit out of it all! And, I can somehow never really seem to feel better. All I see are my own failings in any given situation-- what I did wrong, what I could have done, should have done, whatever. On the rare occasions where things go well for me, I then start reading between the lines, searching exhaustively for some hidden agenda, or feeling that I have been used or lied to, duped, that something is not up to snuff...
Jesus, how do other people live with themselves?