To Please the Monster Inside [Carlisle/Jasper][Chapter Fourteen]
Title: To Please the Monster Inside [Chapter Fourteen]
Pairing: Carlisle/Jasper
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Fiction
Summary: The monster inside Jasper lusts for human blood. When the desire is too strong to resist, there is only one who can help. Carlisle tamed this monster once, and now he must try again.
Carlisle was hunting. Edward was with him.
Jasper and Esme sat together on the porch stairs.
It was dark.
Mother and son had spent the entire afternoon in conversation. Discussing all the things that none of them had previously dared to mention. Answering each other’s questions, making sense of that which was tearing their family apart.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Carlisle and Edward had left just minutes after Jasper fed.
The mind reader had heard Jasper’s horrified thoughts; Had he fed for too long? Could he move without latching on to someone else’s throat? And Carlisle… Somebody needed to help Carlisle!
Edward gathered the doctor, helping him stumble slowly from the room. Over his shoulder, without even looking back, Edward had informed Jasper that he was taking their father to hunt. The mind reader put unnecessary emphasis on the word father. As if Jasper needed reminding that he was a fucking animal.
Not long after, Esme had come to collect Jasper from her husband’s office floor.
He was curled in a tight ball, eyes still closed, not breathing.
“Its okay,” She spoke kindly, bending down to touch her son’s hand. “Carlisle has gone to hunt. He’ll be fine, sweetheart. He’ll be just fine. Open your eyes. I want to talk to you. Why don’t you get up? Come with me?”
She urged him to his feet with gentle ease.
He stood, opened his eyes. Esme stared at him, placing a hand on his cheek. “There’s my boy.” She whispered. “You had me worried, Jasper. And Alice, the poor little thing. In all the years I’ve known her, I’ve never seen her so sad.”
Jasper’s gaze fell to the floor.
He allowed Esme to lead him downstairs.
It was quiet. The house felt empty.
He knew Emmett and Rosalie would be in their room, as Alice would be in hers. Alone.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It had still been light outside when Esme led him onto the porch.
They began talking about Port Angeles, of course. Jasper told Esme, in his own words, what had happened. How it had felt.
They spoke about Edward, and his inability to accept the situation.
They spoke about Alice, too. Jasper still loved her every bit as much as he always had. And he knew he would never stop. He explained to Esme why he couldn’t be close to her. He felt her unbearable pain, and he couldn’t endure it. He didn’t have the courage.
Eventually and inevitably, the conversation moved to Carlisle.
The sky was now pitch black. There were very few stars.
Jasper recalled the very first time he fed from his father. It was decades ago, he explained. He was hunting with Carlisle, when he suddenly picked out the human scent in the air.
Naturally, Carlisle smelt it too, and he panicked, becoming angry at himself for not noticing it before.
Jasper ran, following the scent with burning desire.
He found the human. A man, with a rifle, doing some hunting of his own.
Jasper attacked.
Carlisle stopped him.
The human fled. But his scent lingered in the air.
Jasper's hunger consumed him as the doctor held him back. And, with his thirst so strong it was almost blinding, Jasper had bitten into Carlisle’s wrist, drinking until his hunger dissipated.
The doctor had allowed it. He didn’t fight or struggle.
Neither Jasper nor Carlisle had been able to understand why the blood had satisfied Jasper’s thirst.
And they hadn’t spoken of it since, until recently.
When Jasper fed from Carlisle in the forest just days ago, the pleasure was still there. But it was stronger. So much more satisfying than he had remembered. And now, today, Jasper recalled how he almost couldn’t stop. All he wanted was more and more.
Esme asked, her voice soft and shy, “What does it taste like?”
“Animal blood”, Jasper told her. “Its just animal blood. And its cold. Freezing. Like drinking ice. But it feels incredible.” He explained. “Its like we’re connected. When I drink from him, I am so aware of his body. And the blood. Everything else becomes a blur. Its like… making love. Except it hurts, for him.”
Esme nodded, a frown forming on her smooth forehead.
“What is it?” Jasper asked.
“I’m not sure… Something Carlisle discussed with me a short while ago. It was about you, about how… satisfied you feel after drinking from him. I couldn’t understand why. I asked him, not expecting him to have an answer. But, I shouldn’t have been surprised that he did. Since when does Doctor Cullen not have an answer?” She chuckled, smiling at Jasper.
“What did he say?” Jasper was desperate to know.
“He said it was just a theory. Something he thought about after you fed from him in the forest. He told me how you… you wanted to… uhm, make it good for him. As good as it was for you.”
Jasper watched his mothers face, and knew, if she could, she would be blushing bright red. His mouth lifted in a tiny smile.
Esme continued. “He said your awareness of his emotions was more highly attuned when your hunger was strong.”
She looked at Jasper for a response.
The empath nodded. “Yes, I could feel… everything. Every emotion, every feeling that was inside him, I could feel it. No matter how weak it was.”
“Hmm…” Esme gazed up at the dark sky, and then she went silent.
“So?” Jasper asked.
“What?” Esme turned back to her son.
“So what is Carlisle’s theory?” Jasper's voice rose slightly with irritation.
“Oh. Yes.” Esme looked Jasper straight in the eye. “It is desire. Temptation. Seduction. It has very little at all to do with the blood.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“You want him, Jasper. Every part of you is attracted to him. Your body and your mind, and your hunger.”
“That doesn’t make sense.”
“It does, in its own way. Think about it, Jasper. Sexuality is an undeniably powerful thing. It is relentless and lingering. It is consuming. If sex and feeding - the two most gratifying things in the world, for a vampire - were linked, experienced at the same time. Imagine the pleasure that would arouse, the intensity of it. Perhaps it could give you such satisfaction that your human bloodlust would be forgotten - It would fade, as it does for you.”
Jasper was quiet for a long time. His brow furrowed as he contemplated Carlisle’s concept.
Esme took his hand, holding it with both of hers. “Sweetheart, if you consider it, it makes the most perfect sense.”
Jasper nodded absentmindedly. And then a thought hit him. “What about Alice?”
“What about her, darling?”
“I’m attracted to her. I have sex with her. I love her. I feel the same way about her as I do about Carlisle. Why doesn’t her blood have the same effect?”
Esme’s pale face became even whiter. Her eyes widened.
“What?” Jasper asked defensively.
“You drank from Alice?” She gasped.
Jasper frowned. “Huh? No. What? Of course I haven’t!”
It was Esme’s turn to frown. “Then how do you know it doesn’t have the same effect?”
Jasper blinked. It was a very good question. And he felt like an idiot. “Uhm… I guess… I don’t. But… I mean, if Carlisle’s theory is correct, then that would mean… every vampire with a mate, or every vampire who is sexually drawn to another… they could feed from each other, and be completely satisfied? So much so, that they would never need to kill another human?”
Esme’s hands squeezed Jasper’s tight. “Yes, sweetheart, I believe that is exactly what it would mean.”
Jasper’s jaw dropped.
“Its quite… unbelievable, isn’t it?” Esme’s voice was calm, but he could her the awe in her tone. The same awe that numbed his own mind.
It was more than unbelievable. It was amazing. It was a miracle. It was… a cure?