trapped in a well..KY on the walls..
I shouldnt be here. shouldnt be doing this.
but where SHOULD I be? I want to do these thigns but I dont want people to hate me. Bean hates me. "Hate is a strong word." She doesn't hate me, but...I don't think she is happy with me right now. It's been 6 days since I've talked to her..that's..not good. I LIVE with her...I love her like..my..iono what she is like to me, but she's the only one who knows me and everything about me...whether I tell her or not. One or 2 other people are close, but she...knows how I should go about things and...life as it pertains to *me*. and we're not speaking. *sighs* don't even know why. We both suck at communicating, and that creates a world of problems...and iono what to do about them.
I think I'm going to throw up. Suddenly feel like sh*t..
She made me feel smaller than an ant turd the other night..all telling me I was going to burn in hell cuz I suck at life. But she loves me more than I think my parents do sometimes..haha..well..maybe not, but close. iono it's weird. We're weird.
I wish things weren't so difficult sometimes...like mentally. Like..pleasing people I mean..I...*hate* it when I do things that only please one person or a group of people...leaving everyone else...disappointed, yet I shouldn't feel that way because it's MY life and I have every right to live how I want to...I shouldn't have to worry about what other people think. It's none of their business anyways. Leave me alone and let me do my thing. You have your OWN problems to worry about cuz you're not perfect either...sorry bout your luck!
I think I'm a hermit crab. I can't see myself living in the same place for more than *counts*...4 months at a time. I need a new shell..I never stop growing..in more ways than one. I never thought I'd say this, but I want to just be moved in to...wherever I'm going to live...in Orlando. right now. I'm done with STA for right now. I still don't feel comfortable enough anywhere to call it home, cuz even when I start to think I've found where I belong...I'm wrong.
warped tour was awesome. I didn't think it would be as good as last year but..
I was wrong.
It was great...soo many good bands...even though the people in Orlando...suck..they're all different...like separate from everyone else different. They're dirty..and just..dirty..and I don't like it/them..yet..I'm excited about moving back. *rolls eyes n shakes head*..yeh..this is me..and my mind right now.
not sure of anything at the moment...i feel like i've fallen into a well..with no rope..and no ladder..and the walls are covered in KY jelly...makes for a sticky situation...gooey, rather... AND THE SH*T DUN COME OFF FOR DAYS! Learned THAT the hard way. I am the KY jelly wrestling champion, though, so they say..still feeling it. still sore...finally clean though..2 days later. Boys are funny..and predictable. Girls are...too. whatever.
I want to go sky diving. Don't let me down. I want to get certified for diving. I want my business to be a success...which is difficult since I'm moving it all around...I want a big truck, but I have no money to spend...I want people to know how I feel about them. I want to know how I feel about people. I want to be happy.
I could go on...
but where SHOULD I be? I want to do these thigns but I dont want people to hate me. Bean hates me. "Hate is a strong word." She doesn't hate me, but...I don't think she is happy with me right now. It's been 6 days since I've talked to her..that's..not good. I LIVE with her...I love her like..my..iono what she is like to me, but she's the only one who knows me and everything about me...whether I tell her or not. One or 2 other people are close, but she...knows how I should go about things and...life as it pertains to *me*. and we're not speaking. *sighs* don't even know why. We both suck at communicating, and that creates a world of problems...and iono what to do about them.
I think I'm going to throw up. Suddenly feel like sh*t..
She made me feel smaller than an ant turd the other night..all telling me I was going to burn in hell cuz I suck at life. But she loves me more than I think my parents do sometimes..haha..well..maybe not, but close. iono it's weird. We're weird.
I wish things weren't so difficult sometimes...like mentally. Like..pleasing people I mean..I...*hate* it when I do things that only please one person or a group of people...leaving everyone else...disappointed, yet I shouldn't feel that way because it's MY life and I have every right to live how I want to...I shouldn't have to worry about what other people think. It's none of their business anyways. Leave me alone and let me do my thing. You have your OWN problems to worry about cuz you're not perfect either...sorry bout your luck!
I think I'm a hermit crab. I can't see myself living in the same place for more than *counts*...4 months at a time. I need a new shell..I never stop growing..in more ways than one. I never thought I'd say this, but I want to just be moved in to...wherever I'm going to live...in Orlando. right now. I'm done with STA for right now. I still don't feel comfortable enough anywhere to call it home, cuz even when I start to think I've found where I belong...I'm wrong.
warped tour was awesome. I didn't think it would be as good as last year but..
I was wrong.
It was great...soo many good bands...even though the people in Orlando...suck..they're all different...like separate from everyone else different. They're dirty..and just..dirty..and I don't like it/them..yet..I'm excited about moving back. *rolls eyes n shakes head*..yeh..this is me..and my mind right now.
not sure of anything at the moment...i feel like i've fallen into a well..with no rope..and no ladder..and the walls are covered in KY jelly...makes for a sticky situation...gooey, rather... AND THE SH*T DUN COME OFF FOR DAYS! Learned THAT the hard way. I am the KY jelly wrestling champion, though, so they say..still feeling it. still sore...finally clean though..2 days later. Boys are funny..and predictable. Girls are...too. whatever.
I want to go sky diving. Don't let me down. I want to get certified for diving. I want my business to be a success...which is difficult since I'm moving it all around...I want a big truck, but I have no money to spend...I want people to know how I feel about them. I want to know how I feel about people. I want to be happy.
I could go on...