ughhh

[surfington9797]

Man i hate my emotions...i think i have bipolar feelings its so gay...One moment i feel like everythings perfect and i'm in love and everything will be okay and the next i hate him and i feel like hes hurt me so much and im so fucking stressed out right now i hate this...I know im not going to get into college so i dont know why im even bothering with applying and if i dont get excepted to fsu i most likely will kill myself because i dont want to do anything else..and i really want to go see him but i know i shouldnt..all it brings is heartbreak, sadness, more lying, and more agruing. It does us no good. Plus if he really loved me he'd do anything to see me or the least he could do. not involving me picking him up...and also the most i want in a realationship is trust and not having to worry about any girls and i just want to know im the only one and i dont have to worry and everyone knows that just isnt him. SOooo it was so much easier when we didnt talk or see each other..maybe thats the way its suppose to be? but maybe we are suppose to end up being together which alot of people have told me thats what they think will happen. i dont know and i hate how he never talks about his feelings...and what am i suppose to do? just tell me

Recently ive been feeling like shit i constantly feel like i'm gonna throw up or pass out my stomach always has butterflies. i was sick last night but it was weird i woke up this monrning feeling better. But everytime i eat i feel too full and when i dont eat i feel so empty that im gonna throw up. i need to get my blood drawn....

So tomorrow a half day and i dont have to work. Hunter wants to take the boat out but i might surf instead.

whatever mAN im tired and i know u wont call