it's like mans best party only happens when he dies

[surfacerising]

i haven't posted in months, i haven't been able to, life is plain and my thoughts are too deep to run wild on the internet.

haylee jessie estella nadeau♥
august 27th, you changed my life forever♥
it all comes to easy, everything to do with you. your my heart, forever.

it all makes me wonder, what would he of looked like? i don't know if it hurts

Comments

[glitter_loudbox]

I'm really glad you're doing a 180 in your life. You're going to be an amazing mother, Haylee is going to be a wonderful person because of you. I don't think she'll ever know how blessed she is to have you in her life, especially as a mom. I have complete faith that you will be a pro at it, and I haven't seen you in months. I just know, because I mean, c'mon, you've been by my side at hard times and I know that those instincts you have for being a motherly friend will work out perfect and will grow with Haylee around. I'm so proud of you, I'm so happy for you.

And you say you've accomplished nothing in your life - I want you to say that while looking in your little girl's eyes. I doubt you'll be able to say it when you look at her. She wouldn't be here without you, and you know, I think she's quite the accomplishment. I think she's something to live for and to stand for. Accomplishments don't always come in the form of a diploma or promotion. From what I see in you, you've accomplished plenty. And you know, at the end of the day, a diploma won't fill a void in your heart and a promotion won't make you not cry yourself to sleep at night. I hope to God everyday that you are happy, and I think your little girl was just the right thing for you.

I am so saddened that so much terrible things happen in your life, you don't deserve such things. But that is life, and I know it sounds terribly corny but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. You are one of the strongest people I know Sarah and I hate seeing you break. I hate seeing you sad. I'd give you the world but all I can offer is my heart, and I hope that's enough for now. A lot of people love and adore you, we are all here for you for whatever it is you need at that moment. A punching bag, someone to vent at, someone to hug, anything and everything, as long as it makes you okay.

I'm missing you terribly, and I hope to see you soon sunshine ♥
I love you with every fibre of my being, and I swear I will until my dying day.

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I feel like I've caused so much shit and heartbreak in your life. If it wasn't for me, you'd never know Dave, you'd never feel the hurt the two of us caused you. I'm such a shitty friend, and if anything, I'm the lucky one to have you.

It's not that I don't think I've accomplished anything, I just look at the people I look up to and take inspiration from, and in comparison, they were such amazing people who changed the world.'

I'm still really, really upset over my uncle, and I haven't felt like 'socializing' at all. I break down a lot, and I kind of just don't want to leave the basement. But we'll hang out very soon, and don't worry, because we have our whole lives to make memories :)

PS- The part about leaving everyone behind, not directed at you. More at shitheads who've done a good part in fucking my life up.

[glitter_loudbox]

Hey, now it's my turn to say "DON'T MENTION HIM" :) You were right - at one point, I needed him. I was at that stage in my life. And you know, I am so strong because of what happened then. Honestly, I thank you for that. He gave me something to build off of, and yeah there were a lot of fucked up times, a lot of heart break and a lot of lies, but look ... we are both still alive. He lives his life, I live mine, and yes, sometimes I think to myself "I really want him back in my life", but then I start thinking about the consequences. You and I had a rough patch all the time when he was around. And in the end, he was the one who royally screwed me over and you were the one who came to my work, stood outside in the cold and had a cigerette with me as I cursed into the wind and cried. So in the end, it doesn't matter what happened. What matters is that we survived. And I still have you ♥

You are an amazing person Sarah, and don't you forget it. Look at you ... you're nearly 20 years old. You have a lot to show for it. Changing the world doesn't mean saving it. You've done great things, you just don't see them. I hope one day you'll recognize all the good that you have made in this world.

I'm in no rush to push you back to reality. Reality has already hit you hard enough as it is. I can wait, and you can call me when you are ready. I'll always be around.

P.S. to you too - I'm glad to hear it ♥

[surfacerising]

I love you Danyel.

And I hope someone farts on Dave's pillow.