Eating Disorders
No. I don't have one, unless you want to call me shoving half a pizza into my face "Binge-eating disorder" which isn't in the DSM-IV-TR... maybe the next version.
We've been talking about them in Abnormal Psychology this past week. Watching the videos of all the skinny girls starving themselves makes me hungry, but the etiology of the disorder has been on my mind a lot. Dissatisfaction, pressure, control, need to be perfect.
There was a quote the professor shared in class yesterday: "We are the daughters of feminists who said 'you can be anything' and we heard 'you have to be everything.'" It's something that really struck me deep. I remember as a child, seeing the world as a huge scary place and asking my dad what I should be when I grow up. "Whatever you want to be" he'd reply. But whether he said it or not it was known "you have to be Something." Then he'd leave on a trip overseas for another week or three and I'd sit on my own paralyzed by expectation.
It's what I'm feeling now. My family all of the sudden got this idea that I've got it together, and now I think they expect me to do something. So I freeze. I've been getting lousy grades on all my tests this quarter. At first I blamed it on having the flu, twice. But that was a few weeks ago and my grades are still in the toilet and I have no drive to attend class.
I need a pick me up, but things are pulling me down. My recently divorced, depressed, diabetic brother living in my apartment. My grandma in the hospital. Filthy apartment. Loads of homework. Unridden horses. Things are piling up.
Time for class.
We've been talking about them in Abnormal Psychology this past week. Watching the videos of all the skinny girls starving themselves makes me hungry, but the etiology of the disorder has been on my mind a lot. Dissatisfaction, pressure, control, need to be perfect.
There was a quote the professor shared in class yesterday: "We are the daughters of feminists who said 'you can be anything' and we heard 'you have to be everything.'" It's something that really struck me deep. I remember as a child, seeing the world as a huge scary place and asking my dad what I should be when I grow up. "Whatever you want to be" he'd reply. But whether he said it or not it was known "you have to be Something." Then he'd leave on a trip overseas for another week or three and I'd sit on my own paralyzed by expectation.
It's what I'm feeling now. My family all of the sudden got this idea that I've got it together, and now I think they expect me to do something. So I freeze. I've been getting lousy grades on all my tests this quarter. At first I blamed it on having the flu, twice. But that was a few weeks ago and my grades are still in the toilet and I have no drive to attend class.
I need a pick me up, but things are pulling me down. My recently divorced, depressed, diabetic brother living in my apartment. My grandma in the hospital. Filthy apartment. Loads of homework. Unridden horses. Things are piling up.
Time for class.