(no subject)
there's the buildup and it's bad, where i feel the need to replay everything that's ever happened
that's made me sad or dissapointed or angry, and then it subsides,
sometimes it's really bad and lasts too long, I'm getting stronger and more able to control it,
but not beating myself up when i can't. I couldn't control it last night, and missed school
and felt bad all day long, and then in the early evening I found myself in a place where i felt a strange comfort,
had a beer, relaxed, felt finally good again, and hopeful. I'm going back to red wing right now,
back to no computers and no tv's, my self imposed oasis, and i think tommorow I'll talk to the pretty
girl who works at the gas station on the corner by my apartment, because why the fuck not, I can do good things.
I need to remind myself of that.
that's made me sad or dissapointed or angry, and then it subsides,
sometimes it's really bad and lasts too long, I'm getting stronger and more able to control it,
but not beating myself up when i can't. I couldn't control it last night, and missed school
and felt bad all day long, and then in the early evening I found myself in a place where i felt a strange comfort,
had a beer, relaxed, felt finally good again, and hopeful. I'm going back to red wing right now,
back to no computers and no tv's, my self imposed oasis, and i think tommorow I'll talk to the pretty
girl who works at the gas station on the corner by my apartment, because why the fuck not, I can do good things.
I need to remind myself of that.