(no subject)
Last nite was a rerun of my freshmen year. havent drank like that since very long. mixed two kinds of rum, tequila and some blue sorta drink. but surprisingly I still remeber everythign from last nite. it was fun walking in a big group of ppl form party to party, there was a live band playing at one, which was great and I wanted to stay but couldn't. overall I had fun. but at the end of the nite, i was still reminscing or regretting tha I've been here for 3 years, and I haven't had a single rel. with anybody. maybe its a force inside me that shuns any potential person i could be attracted to, or deep inside my mind, i have a closed, warped being , who doesn't like being vulnerbale, or maybe I just have trust problems, I don't know what it is, but it sucks, and i I've missed out. everytime I evaluated the situation it ws too late, or thats how it seemes at least. now when i'm standing at the threshold of my college years, I wish I was diffeerent, I wish I had known it wasn't too late, I just wish I had somebody to hold unto. well, anywya life goes on, and hopefully i'll survive .