okay im there. im in the place again. we're dating, no, he's my boyfriend, no, i dont know what we are... but whatever it is it makes me feel like vomiting. what the hell? yeah, im not quite sure
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*sigh* do you know there are times i still have the vomit feeling?
it's just never before a date anymore. it's when i smell a fight or slight argument or disagreement or anything. that's when it literally feels like a bomb drops in my stomach.
i miss talking to you about it. i don't think i'll ever forget our conference in starbucks the day of mine and nathan's first date where we just analyzed the hell out of that vomit feeling.
in response however: i do think everything happens for a reason. i think if something starts out wonderfully and then goes wrong down the line it doesn't mean your life is broken because you decided to pursue this one thing. it just means that you took a detour and now you've gotta figure out how to get back on whatever path you wanna follow next. it may take longer and be messier and hurt more than you thought, but it's not necessarily a bad thing, and i really don't think you're losing anything from making any particular decision. the only way you can lose something is if you let the fear of making any decision at all leave you paralyzed to the point where you're too afraid to ever try anything. and that's what it looks like to actually waste your time.
... it took my entire freshman year of college to reach that conclusion. maybe i did learn something after all.
laurel, time to come home. i miss talking to you. i miss our chats when everything made sense in our little world, because we made sense to each other.
it's just never before a date anymore. it's when i smell a fight or slight argument or disagreement or anything. that's when it literally feels like a bomb drops in my stomach.
i miss talking to you about it. i don't think i'll ever forget our conference in starbucks the day of mine and nathan's first date where we just analyzed the hell out of that vomit feeling.
in response however: i do think everything happens for a reason. i think if something starts out wonderfully and then goes wrong down the line it doesn't mean your life is broken because you decided to pursue this one thing. it just means that you took a detour and now you've gotta figure out how to get back on whatever path you wanna follow next. it may take longer and be messier and hurt more than you thought, but it's not necessarily a bad thing, and i really don't think you're losing anything from making any particular decision. the only way you can lose something is if you let the fear of making any decision at all leave you paralyzed to the point where you're too afraid to ever try anything. and that's what it looks like to actually waste your time.
... it took my entire freshman year of college to reach that conclusion. maybe i did learn something after all.
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