I Work way too much..And sleep even more.Sometimes I am much too tired to write, and still I must, because if I fail to, I feel several brain cells will die, or somehow a part of me will wither and fade through the night and be gone by morning. So I sit here, with candles lit, and listening to magical yet soothing Delerium. Sometimes I still wonder
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there's being free with your sexuality and being a slut. some people just need to get their definitions straight. it's all a matter of -why- you sleep with the people you sleep with. i've been a slut, and i've been an enthusiast of the sexual arts. i think the line is drawn when it goes from you have sex to enjoy sex to having sex for masochistic purposes. i went through a phase where i -hated- myself. and i slept with everyone because i thought i was worthless and the only way i could get someone to want to keep me around was to spread for them. and i also did it just because i knew it was a wrong thing to do, because i knew it was hurting me, and i kept doing it to hurt myself more. i hated myself so much. and then i got healthier about my attitude and slowed the pace -a little- and got about ten guys in a year as opposed to the 20 the year before (pringles virgin! once you pop, you can't stop!!) and i did it because, from my slut days, i'd come to enjoy having sex on a VERY regular basis. now i'm in a terminally monogamous relationship, and i have a whole lot of sex with just one guy. but even when it was with two or three different guys a week...it was healthier when i was doing it because i enjoyed sex but i knew it wasn't my only asset, as opposed to the reasons i'd had before.
god, i'm babbling. did that even make sense? i only got like...5 hours of sleep last night. i'm not all here. :P
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