Today and yesterday
I haven't written for a little while I'm pretty bummed about the whole John Thing. Depressed actually. I love him so much - but not in the way I'm supposed to in order to keep talking to him--aparently. I guess guys no matter what age, Can't be friends with the oppisite sex as Harry Met Sally makes a refrence to 'guys can't be friends with girls no matter what age they are, because they will always want to do them" sweet. I'm not a fan of this rule. Guys are so dumb. Walking boners. I miss so much what we used to have. I just remenised on the past, lived in the past, hoping that what he was doing/going through was a "phaze" and not what it would be from here on out. Emotional Abusive- and almost a danger to be psychically abusive, as I started- as a game, and continued. Wrestling. I think I was a little out of line to slap me in the face. He could have punched me in the arms or something, or push me, but slap me in the face? Is that normal? Is hanging up on me right? Should I Have ever excepted it? No. I let this happen, it just got worse and worse. And I can't take it any more. He has like a total disreguard for women as he said one time "I think girls like it when you are meant to them. Being nice doesn't work out. If i tell a girl to fuck off they just come running back for more..I think that's the answer" As I tried to convince him other wise...It didn't work..Should I have stopped it then..whatever "it" was. Aparently = I've been dating him for a year- and aparently- I just "broke up" with him. Which means we can't ever be friends again. I have a overwhelming talent/ability to sabatage what is good for me. I'm such a meathead. Will I ever get out of my rut?
Chris and I have studied the last 3 days for the ASVAB test. This thing is getting out of control. I am studing things I never knew exsisted. Today I had to do math- AH! more math- but this time multiplying and multipication table. And then square roots of shit. I got frusterated. And he was like "you can't memorize this?" I was like "no" he was like "fine, screw it" threw it up in the air and said "I think we are done today" wow, I've never seen Chris loose his cool. That scary. So yeah...SUCKS! I have to take the test before he leaves for A school on Jan 12th. So he doesn't have to worry about it. That a fuck load of studing. It's been about 9 hours of studying so far there is about 200 pages in the book we are studying review from- and we are only on page 78. Good greif! But now i could like..wire something. And be able to read the stamatics graphs of electrical...stuff. So yeah. That will be useful past this ...test.. Anyway. AWESOME!
I got fired from my job, my play, and one of my best friends. I am un-qualitified to do anything besides clean toliets- I'm joining the coast guard. At going to be studing guns in the coast guard. So...when my acting careers never pulls together I can be apart of the FBI. sweet.
Chris and I have studied the last 3 days for the ASVAB test. This thing is getting out of control. I am studing things I never knew exsisted. Today I had to do math- AH! more math- but this time multiplying and multipication table. And then square roots of shit. I got frusterated. And he was like "you can't memorize this?" I was like "no" he was like "fine, screw it" threw it up in the air and said "I think we are done today" wow, I've never seen Chris loose his cool. That scary. So yeah...SUCKS! I have to take the test before he leaves for A school on Jan 12th. So he doesn't have to worry about it. That a fuck load of studing. It's been about 9 hours of studying so far there is about 200 pages in the book we are studying review from- and we are only on page 78. Good greif! But now i could like..wire something. And be able to read the stamatics graphs of electrical...stuff. So yeah. That will be useful past this ...test.. Anyway. AWESOME!
I got fired from my job, my play, and one of my best friends. I am un-qualitified to do anything besides clean toliets- I'm joining the coast guard. At going to be studing guns in the coast guard. So...when my acting careers never pulls together I can be apart of the FBI. sweet.