(no subject)
The last few days have been perfect. They weren't at all like I planned, or like I knew they would be despite my plans. Thats how it should be, and I'll plan things like that from now on. It was perfect when I walked to David's house and we didn't say anything important so I was sort if annoyed, and when I took pictures of anything for the hell of it, and also when we videotaped absolutely nothing. It was perfect when James and his brother got angry and anxious because everyone kept talking to loud, and when his mom and Rick got into a fight, and they were maybe a little shaken up. All that means to me is that everything is familiar and right, not that I want their family to be unhappy. I'll bet anything James would know what I mean. Talking about everything that's never perfect, never even good, that was all perfect too. Even those kind of problems, different troubles people have for whatever reasons, those are perfect in an odd way because it makes certain feelings you have with good freinds better. I love sharing what I think with anyone will listen, and hearing what they have to say too. It was perfect how I didn't want to see Erica and I did anyway, since I knew I really did, and everything that happened when she was there was perfect, and the same with meeting James best friend. It makes me closer to James and to Eric, his friend. It was perfect talking to Mariel on the internet and she cheered me up even though we didn't talk about anything. I know even when I'm facing my saddest times I'll never be sad because I spent time with Jafar, Kyle, Aaron, James, Erica, David, Eric, and my grandparents, who I don't like too much. And when I'm in Stone Harbor, I will be with Mickey, Eugene, Andrew, Harris, Rob (who I don't like), Kevin, Billy, Isaac, Olivia and Lisa, and maybe Mariel, Katie, and Adria. Then I can be happy with those people too, and think about how happy I can also be when I see my Florida friends next. Maybe I will eventually meet up with Mel, Sung woo, and Shankar like I told them I would (and I want to but I don't know I ever will). When I am with Kathleen and her friend Morgan, and Carolyn I can tell them about all of these people like I always do with them, and they will be impressed like they always are that I know so many perfect people. How is it that I was able to meet all of them? Don't only celebrities know people like these? Just as amazing is that when I go back to Florida I can keep getting to know Steven and Richard and David, Kaylie and Elise (In addition to the other people there I don't know yet who I will without a doubt get to know better). Until then I will be as happy as anyone could ever be, and after I will be just as happt but even more fascinated with all of the other new people I can become close to later on. Even though I'm positively terrified of what happens next after college (a strange life I couldn't possibly imagine, I really can't think of anything scarier, so that thinking about it makes me feel like I'm 8 and I got lost in the mall), I'm going to be genuinely fearless when I get there. After visiting Tampa I'm confident and inspired. I promise to all of these people that I'm going to work hard to make myself better at whatever I do, and to do interesting things so I can be a great person so I can be a part of making them feel how they make me feel. If I ever seem different than how I seem right now, I want those people to get angry at me and to make me keep my promise! I think I probably love all of these people, but I'd have to ask whoever invented that word to be sure. I know that they make me feel perfect though, and that they make me feel like they and everything we all do and all of the things that happen to us are also perfect.