You Can't Make This Shit Up.
OMG LMAO. I'm surfing Craigslist and found some of the most hilarious shit:
Hi, I'm a married black male seeking a certain single white female.
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and I hope you find this and respond. You have long red hair, gorgeous green eyes, and a perfect body like I've only seen in my dreams. You were wearing a rainbow-striped sweater. I was pumping gas when I saw you going into the store to buy cigarettes. You came out with a box of Marlboro Light 100s. Although I don't approve of smoking, because fire safety is very important to me, I instantly fell in love with you. I wanted to talk to you before you left, but my gas was still pumping and it's against safety regulations to leave a pump unattended (also a fire safety issue).
If you want to have my babies, please email me ASAP while my equipment is still in working order. Or, if you aren't comfortable with that, I would consider being your sugar daddy and supporting you financially if you would allow me to massage your feet and caress your slender back and shoulders 3 to 5 times a week.
you came in the sauna and sat naked. You were twitching your boner around and both of us saw it. Wanted to do more but that troll came in wheezing and sneezing and it was, well, a real boner-killer. Hope we can meet up again. You- latino guy, 20s, me white guy 27 blond and my bud was short Euro guy 29. You remember us ... hope we cross paths soon. We usually go early afternoons.
Hi, I'm a married black male seeking a certain single white female.
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and I hope you find this and respond. You have long red hair, gorgeous green eyes, and a perfect body like I've only seen in my dreams. You were wearing a rainbow-striped sweater. I was pumping gas when I saw you going into the store to buy cigarettes. You came out with a box of Marlboro Light 100s. Although I don't approve of smoking, because fire safety is very important to me, I instantly fell in love with you. I wanted to talk to you before you left, but my gas was still pumping and it's against safety regulations to leave a pump unattended (also a fire safety issue).
If you want to have my babies, please email me ASAP while my equipment is still in working order. Or, if you aren't comfortable with that, I would consider being your sugar daddy and supporting you financially if you would allow me to massage your feet and caress your slender back and shoulders 3 to 5 times a week.
you came in the sauna and sat naked. You were twitching your boner around and both of us saw it. Wanted to do more but that troll came in wheezing and sneezing and it was, well, a real boner-killer. Hope we can meet up again. You- latino guy, 20s, me white guy 27 blond and my bud was short Euro guy 29. You remember us ... hope we cross paths soon. We usually go early afternoons.