1:25 p.m.
I feel as though I don't know who I am anymore. What have I become? Someone I don't even recognize when I look in the mirror. I broke a mirror on purpose and glued the pieces to a large piece of cardboard that will fit into a frame. It's art to me. The mirror represents the image that I see when I look into the mirror. Some parts are missing and the image is distorted slightly. The picture is not whole. The person is not whole. The frame is decorated and lively but the mirror is imprefect and nontouchable. This is the reason I accidently cut my hands several times during this project. From someone else's point of view, the mirror may be ugly or pointless but to me, it's an accurate expression of myself.
I miss the person I used to be. I want creativity to flow from me in colors. I want to touch the world with my love and expression. I want my whole body to be an instrument to art and kindness. I want to make an impact on every person I meet. I want to never be afraid to live my dreams and be who I am. I don't want to have to search to understand my feelings- I want to know myself. I don't want to fear people knowing me and loving me for who I am. I'm sick of hiding. I'm sick of being crazy. I'm sick of being fat and cutting myself. I'm sick of being depressed. I'm sick of no one understanding how I feel because even I don't know. I want to live. I want to live and love deeply. I don't want to be broken anymore.
[I redid my journal again. I like it much better this way. The other one was too sloppily done. I like bright colors but I like the simplicity of this layout. That was pointless.]
I miss the person I used to be. I want creativity to flow from me in colors. I want to touch the world with my love and expression. I want my whole body to be an instrument to art and kindness. I want to make an impact on every person I meet. I want to never be afraid to live my dreams and be who I am. I don't want to have to search to understand my feelings- I want to know myself. I don't want to fear people knowing me and loving me for who I am. I'm sick of hiding. I'm sick of being crazy. I'm sick of being fat and cutting myself. I'm sick of being depressed. I'm sick of no one understanding how I feel because even I don't know. I want to live. I want to live and love deeply. I don't want to be broken anymore.
[I redid my journal again. I like it much better this way. The other one was too sloppily done. I like bright colors but I like the simplicity of this layout. That was pointless.]