holiday season
Haven't been here in awhile, just letting everyone know I am still alive. Spent Thanksgiving on the island, weather was nice, walked on the beach, did a little shopping, watched movies, talked to friends & family on the phone. Looks like baby and I will be driving up to Oklahoma on our own, hubby doesn't want to make the trip, and honestly, I could use a little get away, even with baby. I don't know, I'm going thru some thing, not exactly sure what to call it. Been married for so long, not motivated to jump out of my comfort shell lately, feeling kinda vulnerable. I have felt this way since I was pregnant with Vin. I thought these feelings would pass after he got here, but I am still feeling like protective momma bear. I want to venture out and make new friends, try new things, but then when I really think about it, I back down. I don't really want to say why, it's sort of because I have put myself in this situation, and I love lots of things about my life, but I feel I am definately not living up to my full potential. The things that I care most about are the things that seem to hurt my life the most. I don't know if that makes much sense to anyone else but me, but I really just want to get some feelings out. I am not really very depressed or anything, just venting. I'll feel much better about things later, I'm sure. The idea of doing something dangerous and crazy sounds great right now, but not realistic. Anyway, I'm looking forward to driving up to Oklahoma in December... think it will put some things in perspective for me, hell, maybe it'll even light a fire under my butt to get off of it. Ha. Loves to all...