(no subject)
oh god it just keeps getting better and better...
FACT!!! Part 2
- In a recent interview, Chuck Norris told Entertainment Tonight that his most memorable role was when he played the third breast on the hooker in Total Recall.
- When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.
- Chuck Norris carries a man bag. If you call it a purse, he pulls a baby out of the bag and throws it at you. The baby will blow up upon impact.
- Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
- There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
- Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down!
- Chuck Norris has recently changed his middle name to "Fucking."
- One time, a waiter served Chuck Norris an appetizer at the same time as his entrée. Chuck Norris ripped the man's testicles off like a paper towel and shoved them so far down his throat, the man actually shit out his own balls.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t need to swallow when eating food.
- In one episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Chuck Norris replaced Carlton for one scene and nobody noticed.
- Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.
- Before email was invented Chuck Norris would attach messages to kittens and roundhouse kick them.
- Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
- Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and shit on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.
- The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris-more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise, " and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
- Biologically, Chuck Norris is his own step-father.
-=fin=-
P.S. Depeche Mode announced to headline Coachella 2006!!http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051212/music_nm/coachella_dc
FACT!!! Part 2
- In a recent interview, Chuck Norris told Entertainment Tonight that his most memorable role was when he played the third breast on the hooker in Total Recall.
- When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.
- Chuck Norris carries a man bag. If you call it a purse, he pulls a baby out of the bag and throws it at you. The baby will blow up upon impact.
- Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
- There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
- Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down!
- Chuck Norris has recently changed his middle name to "Fucking."
- One time, a waiter served Chuck Norris an appetizer at the same time as his entrée. Chuck Norris ripped the man's testicles off like a paper towel and shoved them so far down his throat, the man actually shit out his own balls.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t need to swallow when eating food.
- In one episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Chuck Norris replaced Carlton for one scene and nobody noticed.
- Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.
- Before email was invented Chuck Norris would attach messages to kittens and roundhouse kick them.
- Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
- Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and shit on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.
- The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris-more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise, " and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
- Biologically, Chuck Norris is his own step-father.
-=fin=-
P.S. Depeche Mode announced to headline Coachella 2006!!http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051212/music_nm/coachella_dc