45
And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
Swimming through the ashes of another life
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45
What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart
Everyone's pointing their fingers
Always condemning me
And nobody knows what I believe
I believe
These are lyrics by a song by shinedown from a song called "45" I heard this song for the first time today with my sister. My sister told me it might strike a nerve, and did it ever. I noticed myself starting to tear up right there in the car, but I hid it as not to appear weak.
It made me think of my deceased friend Chad who shot himself in the face. It's hard, everytime I do think of him I get all sad again. His sucicide has been over 2 years now, but I haven't been able to deal with it. It's one of those things I have just pushed down, but haven't dealt with. I guess it's one of those things I can't deal with.
I've always been good at pushing things away instead of just dealing with them. Everything that has happened with Morgan....have I dealt with it? Or just pushed it away because I am unable to deal with it? Do I deal with anything?
Swimming through the ashes of another life
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45
What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart
Everyone's pointing their fingers
Always condemning me
And nobody knows what I believe
I believe
These are lyrics by a song by shinedown from a song called "45" I heard this song for the first time today with my sister. My sister told me it might strike a nerve, and did it ever. I noticed myself starting to tear up right there in the car, but I hid it as not to appear weak.
It made me think of my deceased friend Chad who shot himself in the face. It's hard, everytime I do think of him I get all sad again. His sucicide has been over 2 years now, but I haven't been able to deal with it. It's one of those things I have just pushed down, but haven't dealt with. I guess it's one of those things I can't deal with.
I've always been good at pushing things away instead of just dealing with them. Everything that has happened with Morgan....have I dealt with it? Or just pushed it away because I am unable to deal with it? Do I deal with anything?