Rainy Days- Rainbows [ Sequel to A Step Behind You ] Chapter 6/6
Title: Rainy Days- Rainbows [ Sequel to A Step Behind You ] Chapter 6/6
Pairing: Donghae / Hyukjae
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst, Drama, Friendship
Summary: Years after Hyukjae died, Donghae found someone who looked exactly like Hyukjae . But he says his name is Spencer Lee. Is the man Hyukjae or is Hyukjae really dead?
Narrator's POV
“Did you have fun?” Donghae asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “All these years…it wasn’t as if you didn’t know how much I was suffering. It wasn’t as if you didn’t know.”
“We didn’t want to do it, Donghae,” Jungsu spoke up. “It wasn’t -”
“Wasn’t what?” Donghae spat. “Wasn’t your fault? Is that it? Because Hyukjae ordered you to do it, you followed his instructions blindly? He was sick in the head, literally! How could you just follow everything he said?!”
“Like a father…” Jinsu suddenly interrupted before Jungsu could say more. He smiled softly at Donghae's confused face. “Like a father, I wanted him to be happy. He’s like a son to me; the son I never had. Because his father entrusted him to me… this child, he’s one in a million. If ever something happens to me, this child…please treat him like he’s your own.”
“Because he trusted me,” Jinsu continued. “I wanted to live up to that trust. And because I love Hyukjae, I followed his wishes blindly, thinking that it was for the best. It was my fault. From the start, it was my fault. I made the decision. I wanted to follow his wishes. Please do not blame the other two.”
Donghae stared. Jinsu who’s always looking tough and always comforting the weak, suddenly look so fragile. “A father’s heart,” Donghae mumbled to himself, nodding his head slowly. He was angry. Angry was even a huge understatement but he figured, as he looked at the trio sitting by him guiltily, that they were hurting as much as he was.
They, who had to hide Hyukjae for so many years, must have had to live with guilt eating them. They, who had only abide to Hyukjae's wishes, must have suffered trying to heal him. They, who could only watch and pray for Hyukjae, must have hurt when they couldn’t do much.
“Is he going to be alright?” Donghae asked; voice soft and shaking.
“He has a slight concussion but other than that,” Jinsu answered, eyes meeting Donghae's waiting ones. “He’s going to be fine.”
“Forgiving you,” Donghae said. “Will be hard.”
“We know,” Leeteuk said. “Jungsu, Jinsu and I are-”
“I understand where you’re coming from,” Donghae butted in. “I really do. But to forgive you for all the pain I’ve suffered these past years, it’s going to take time. Lots of it. I will, one day, after I get over this shock, be able to look you in the eye -all of you- and tell you that’s everything alright; that I forgive you and thank you for taking care of Hyukjae.”
Jinsu nodded. “That’s all we ask for,” he said. “We do not need your forgiveness instantaneously. We only need you to understand.”
Donghae smiled bitterly as one by one, the trio left the waiting room, each patting Donghae on the back.
::::
Donghae sigh, eyes glistening brightly in the dark room. In the distance, he can see the sky growing brighter as the sun crept above the horizon lazily. He placed his hands on the window pane, smiling softly when the cold air smells of dew and grass. Below; so many feet down, the rumbling of cars and buses broke the morning silence, polluting the air with their unhealthy black gases.
For a week, Donghae never left the hospital. He was stubborn. Hangeng didn’t bother persuading him. Even if he was forced home, Hangeng knows that he wouldn’t be able to sleep. In the hospital, although he had no bed, Donghae could fall asleep. He doesn’t have to worry whether Hyukjae had woken up again or whether Hyukjae was cold in the middle of the night. He slept, for the full week, on a chair next to Hyukjae's bed, his hands clutching Hyukjae's tightly.
The door creaks and Donghae turns. “Have you eaten?” Hangeng asked.
“In a while,” Donghae promised. “It’s barely six.”
“You haven’t eaten since breakfast the day before Donghae,” Hangeng said. “I don’t want you falling sick.”
Donghae's eyes flickered towards the man on the bed as Hangeng muttered the word sick. I couldn’t be sicker than him, Donghae thought. “They say he’s healing,” Hangeng said, as if reading his mind. “His skull cracked a little, but it didn’t do much harm.”
“I know,” Donghae murmured. “He’ll wake up any day. I know he will.”
Hangeng's eyes lingered for just another moment on Donghae before he resolved softly, “I’ll get you something to eat. You can stay here.”
“Thank you gege,” Donghae replied.
Hangeng was about to leave when he did a double take. He stared at Donghae. Donghae was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed then, hands clasped tightly around Hyukjae’s. Hangeng couldn’t help the grateful tears that fell gently onto his cheeks as he exited the room. Hyukjae was back for barely a week and Donghae had changed drastically - speaking Chinese as though he hadn’t abandoned it for more than five years, smiling when being talked to and there’s that extra lightness in the way he walked. Hyukjae, Hangeng figured after many years, was the last piece of puzzle that made Donghae whole; the piece of puzzle that was needed to bring sense to the whole picture.
::::
Someone wanted to talk to him. They wanted him to wake up, very badly. But he doesn’t know what to do. The last thing he remembered was being greeted by aglowing man by the gates that suddenly appeared before him.
“Where are we?” he asked. He wanted to punch the man for smiling so brightly when he was confused and lost but he thought better of it.
“We’re waiting,” the man answered.
“What are we waiting for?” he just had to ask.
“Your judgement,” the man said.
“Judgement?”
“Yes,” the man nodded.
“May I ask what the judgement is for?” he spoke again. He felt impatient for no apparent reason. He just wanted to get out of there. Then again, he did a double take. There…where?
“You’ve met the death angel for two times now,” the man said to his shock. “We’re waiting to see whether it was another accident or you’re just meant to die this time.”
He stared at the man, shocked. “D-Die?” he stammered.
“Yes, die,” the male nodded. “But don’t worry about it. It’s still pending.”
“A-Are you supposed to be telling me all of these?” he asked, eyes wide and shining. “It’s not supposed to be a secret or anything?”
“No, your memories will be cleared if you’re sent back. You don’t remember the last time you were here, right?” the man said and when he nodded, the mansmiled. “You were this nervous too. I told you not to worry. But as usual, this was exactly how you acted.”
“How can I not be nervous?!” he exclaimed, suddenly feeling a wave of déjàvu hitting him like rocks. He stared at the male by him and the male gave him a knowing smile.
The male didn’t answer him and he huffed, crossing his arms and continued waiting. He didn’t get tired- couldn’t. However, it felt like days for him -the wait. When suddenly a loud chime rang loudly, torturing his eardrums, the man beside him smiled. He saw the male’s eyes lit up and asked him why, what happened?
“You’re going back again,” the man said.
“B-Back?”
“Earth. You’re going to be sent back to Earth,” the man rephrased. “But this is the last warning. You have to take care of yourself. If you have another accident, you won’t be able to go back again; whether it is your time yet or not.”
He nodded, understanding without sound. When he was led to a door -pure white and untainted- he could hear voices.
“Have you eaten?” one asked.
“In a while. It’s barely six.”
“You haven’t eaten since breakfast the day before Donghae, I don’t want you falling sick.”
He stared at the man beside him, shocked. “W-What’s that?” he asked, shocked.
“Those are the people waiting for you,” the man answered. “When you go back, promise me something.”
He watched the man’s face for a moment before answering. He felt as though they had met before; as though the man has been by his side for a very long time. “Anything,” he answered, regardless of his confusion.
“Take care of yourself,” the man repeated. “But more importantly, take care of him. Please.”
When the man smiled at him, face facing him for the first time, he gasped softly. “Y-You’re m-my… you-” he stammered, tears pooling in his eyes. “Dad?”
“Take care of yourself, Hyukjae,” was the last words he heard before he was pushed into the door forcefully.
Another voice greeted him this time and suddenly everything was alright; even if it was for a moment. “Hyukkie?”
PART II