Title: White Mocha [Until The Next Life] Part 2/2
Pairings: KyuMin / side!HenMi
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Friendship, Romance, Drama, Angst
Summary: Sungmin is Zhoumi's cousin. Kyuhyun is Henry's. Zhoumi has autism but Henry sees the beauty underneath it all. Sungmin's just another person but to Kyuhyun, he meant the world.
A/N: Let the music play.
Narrator's POV
Kyuhyun and Sungmin never dated. At least not formally. They went out, as if on dates, yes, but there were no confessions or proposal but they figured since they were already comfortable enough with each other, no confessions were really needed.
“Are you guys dating?” Henry had asked. He was the first one to bring the subject up and Kyuhyun cocked his eyebrows. Sungmin was on his lap and he gave the male a look. Are we? Sungmin smiled, shrugging.
“We are,” Kyuhyun nodded. They were then at the beach because Zhoumi had voiced out his wants of building a sandcastle and the brat simply knows that Henry would give him anything he wants.
“You are?!” Henry exclaimed. “When? Why wasn’t any of us told?!”
Kyuhyun gaped a little. “Urgh…Min?” he said, sounding very much confused. “When did we start dating?”
“Three weeks ago,” Sungmin answered confidently. His eyes were shining and bright as he smiled at Henry.
“When we went to the amusement park?” Henry asked.
“Yea, that time,” Sungmin nodded. “And ya, Zhoumi's calling you.”
When Henry left, running towards Zhoumi, Kyuhyun started laughing. “Why wasn’t I told that we were dating?” he teased.
“Well, you asked for my number and your hands are all over my thighs right now,” Sungmin defended accusingly. Kyuhyun laughed again, rubbing Sungmin's thighs with his thumb lightly.
“Why?” Sungmin pouted. “You don’t want to date me?”
Kyuhyun smiled at him playfully, earning a smack on the head by Sungmin. When Kyuhyun complained on how much it hurts -though it doesn’t hurt even the slightest bit- Sungmin twisted around in his laps to kiss his head. “There, much better?” he asked, voice low and deep, sending a shiver down Kyuhyun's spine.
Kyuhyun shook his head. He tapped his lips with a finger. “No, my lips hurt too,” he whined softly, pulling a gasping Sungmin by the nape, their lips brushing the slightest bit. “Can I?” he whispered. Sungmin nodded, breathily unevenly at the change of events.
Their first kiss was slow, gentle; nothing crude. Sungmin could feel the head of Kyuhyun's tongue on his lips though through the occasional opened mouth kissed. They kissed each other breathless, again and again. It was only broken when a loud scream -by Zhoumi- interrupted them. Henry threw a bucket at them. “Ya, get a room you two!” he shouted. They broke apart to a disgusted look by Henry. As a result, Zhoumi threw sand back at Henry because apparently Henry had interrupted Sungmin hyung kissing and that was very rude of him.
Kyuhyun rolled over, laughing at the shock expression on Henry's face. “YA, YOU WERE THE ONE THAT SHOUTED FIRST!” Henry shouted defensively.
When Zhoumi cried, Kyuhyun had to hide Henry behind him to avoid the kid being killed by Sungmin.
::::
“Your birthday’s coming up, no?” Kyuhyun asked. It was a month or so after their beach adventure. Kyuhyun’s and Sungmin's relationship was still going on strong. They were then on a secluded playground, backs leaning against the metal railings of the slides. “In two months time. On New Year’s day,” Kyuhyun continued.
Sungmin looked at him curiously with wide eyes. “How did I found out?” Kyuhyun chuckled and Sungmin nodded slowly.
“Henry told me,” Kyuhyun explained. “He said Zhoumi wouldn’t shut up about it.”
Sungmin laughed. “Tell Henry I’m sorry,” he said.
“Oh no, don’t be. I didn’t mean it that way,” Kyuhyun splutters as he scooted closer to Sungmin, one arm weaving its way around Sungmin's waist.
Sungmin smiled shyly as Kyuhyun rested his chin on Sungmin's shoulder, eyes staring at Sungmin's lips. “Why are you so shy?” Kyuhyun whispered.
“We’re in public, Kyu,” Sungmin said, unable to keep the smile off his face even if his head staring at the ground.
Kyuhyun laughed. “You’re so cute when you’re shy,” he murmurs, breath washing Sungmin's face, heating it up unhealthily.
“What do you want for your birthday?” Kyuhyun whispered, chin still on Sungmin's small shoulders. “A car? House?”
“What? No!” Sungmin exclaimed, eyes wide. “Don’t b-”
“Relax,” Kyuhyun said, squeezing Sungmin's waist. “I was joking.”
“You better be,” Sungmin warned.
“I won’t buy you those, don’t worry,” Kyuhyun repeated. “When we get married, I’ll buy us one and we can both share it.”
Sungmin turned scarlet. “You don’t want to marry me?” Kyuhyun asked, mocking hurt.
“Are you proposing?” Sungmin countered, heart thumping loudly despite his joke.
“Nah, not yet. I won’t propose while we’re out freezing our butts out,” Kyuhyun laughed.
“You bring out the worse topics ever on a date, Kyu,” Sungmin said.
Kyuhyun smiled, leaning up to kiss Sungmin's rosy cheeks before he straightened his body again, lifting his head off Sungmin's shoulder.
“You’re a lucky baby, you know that?” Kyuhyun suddenly says.
“What?”
“You’re born on New Year’s day,” Kyuhyun answered. “Only those special enough gets to be born on New Year’s day.”
“They say New Year’s babies are weird though,” Sungmin shrugged. “They mature too early.”
“Isn’t that a good thing though?”
“No,” Sungmin shook his head seriously. “When you mature too early, you die early too.”
Kyuhyun frowned. Somehow Sungmin's words seemed as though he was hinting on something but Kyuhyun shook it off. “Don’t say that, you idiot,” he scolded. “Don’t scare me.”
“I’m sorry,” Sungmin said, turning around to give Kyuhyun a huge beam. “I’ll try to die a little later.”
:::
“Pink!” Zhoumi exclaimed. “Sungmin hyung loves pink!”
“But we can’t make his twenty first into such a gay party,” Heechul disagreed.
“But Sungmin hyung loves pink,” Zhoumi insisted.
Henry stared at the siblings, amused. “I’ll call my brother,” he said. “He’s a party planner. We can get him to plan it for us. And it will look neither gay nor…lame.”
“You have another brother?” Heechul asked.
“I only have one, hyung,” Henry corrected. “Kyuhyun's my cousin. He’s m- oh, Hangeng hyung texted back. He’ll be here in a half hour.”
“Hangeng?” Heechul asked. “That’s a Chinese name.”
“Well, we’re half Chinese after all. Hangeng hyung was born in China, and I was born in Canada because mom was on a business trip that year,” Henry shrugged.
“Canada born Chinese-Korean?” Heechul scoffed. “So complicated.”
Henry smiled. “Have you eaten, Mimi?” he asked, diverting his attention from Heechul to Zhoumi. Henry heard Heechul scoffed again when Zhoumi smiled that big smile of his just for him. “I’ll be back there while you guys are being a cheese fest. Call me back when this Hangeng brother of yours arrive,” Heechul said. Zhoumi and Henry barely heard him.
Hangeng was late. He arrived an hour or so later and an annoyed Heechul was dragged out of the back room. “Hankyung!” was the first word he practically screamed, earning him looks from the customers that were present.
“You guys know each other?” Henry asked, voice accusing.
“I thought you went to America!” Heechul exclaimed, practically ignoring Henry.
“I got back a week ago,” Hangeng shrugged.
“You’re Henry’s brother?” Heechul gaped. “You guys look so…different.”
“Different?”
“Henry’s… a little…” Heechul trailed off, giving Henry a look of pure disgust.
“Squishy!” Zhoumi exclaimed, in hopes of helping but Henry facepalmed instead.
“I’m not squishy, darling,” Henry scolded. “How many times do I have to say that?”
He sighed when Zhoumi pouted, an apology instantly slipping past his lips, bringing back Zhoumi’s smile. Hangeng gave them a look.
“Don’t look at me that way, hyung,” Henry said, poking Hangeng’s cheeks.
After a series of bickering, Henry found out that Hangeng and Heechul used to be schoolmates in university. Henry was pretty sure there was something more to their friendship but decided to let it go when Kyuhyun burst into the café (like always) and told them that he had a very good idea (“Oh hi Hangeng hyung! It’s been a zillion years since we last met. It’s nice to know that I wasn’t that important to you for you to tell that you’ve came back!” “This brat…”)
After a few more hours, it was decided that the birthday party would be thrown at a downtown Country Club. It would be simple, Kyuhyun insisted. Sungmin doesn’t like grand things. Well, he knows best, Heechul had shrugged and they simply went along with it.
Since Zhoumi insisted on the color pink, Hangeng settled on a white-pink theme. Something neutral and fairytale-like. “Prince Sungmin,” Henry smiled at the idea. “It sounds good enough. Hangeng hyung can take care of the caterers and decorations, no?”
Hangeng nodded. “We’ll only invite our family, right?”
“Only family will be fine,” Kyuhyun nodded. “I don’t think Sungmin would like it if we make it big and chaotic. “
“It’s settled then,” Heechul clapped his hands. The other three stared as he pulled Hangeng into the back room.
:::
“I’m sorry Kyu, not today,” Sungmin apologized. For the second time that week, he had rejected Kyuhyun's invitation to go on a date. “I have to go somewhere today.”
“Where?” Kyuhyun asked. “I can sen-”
“No, it’s fine. I can go by myself,” Sungmin interrupted quickly. “Plus, I heard Henry was calling for you before.”
Kyuhyun scowled. “Are you okay, Min?” he asked. “You don’t seem like yourself lately.”
“I’m fine, really,” Sungmin assured. “Just a little tired. Don’t worry about me. Look at yourself. You’re getting so thin. I’m cooking dinner for us tomorrow, okay? Can I come over?”
Kyuhyun stared for a moment at his lover. He wanted to point out how Sungmin was the one getting gradually thinner. His cheekbones were already showing and Kyuhyun can practically feel Sungmin's ribcage when they hugged. But he doesn’t say anything. He simply nodded, kissed the tip of Sungmin's nose and agreed to it. Kyuhyun stared some more at Sungmin's leaving back and he sighed.
He contemplated for a moment whether he should follow Sungmin but decided against it. Sungmin believed in him. He should believe in Sungmin too. Whatever problems he was facing, Kyuhyun just hoped Sungmin would open up to him soon. He doesn’t want to force the male to speak up. He wanted to earn Sungmin's trust slowly.
As soon as he saw Sungmin disappearing around the corner, he turned around and headed straight to Sapphire’s. Heechul had originally wanted to meet him to pass over the invitation cards for Sungmin's birthday party so he figured he’ll get the invitations over with so he could plan more for the party.
“Heechul hyung!” Kyuhyun shouted as soon as he entered the café. He nodded apologetically at the customers that were seated down. “Oh hey Zhoumi!” he greeted the man behind the counter. “Why are you alone? Where’s Heechul hyung?”
“Heechul hyung says to stay away from the back room for one hour,” Zhoumi said brightly, holding out one finger.
“Uhm, why…?” Kyuhyun asked.
“He says he has some catching up to do with Hangeng hyung,” Zhoumi explained, not even a trace of unhappiness in his voice - nothing but pure innocence.
Kyuhyun cocked his eyebrows. “Catching up?” he scoffed. “Yea, right.”
“Do you want anything to drink?” Zhoumi said. “I can make one for you.”
“No, no, it’s fine,” Kyuhyun shook his head. “I’ll call Henry to pick you up, okay? Do you want to play with him? I can take care of the café for a while.”
Zhoumi nodded enthusiastically. “Okay, go and sit. I’ll take over,” Kyuhyun said. “I’ll kill Heechul for this. I can’t believe he asked you to take over.”
Zhoumi giggled, nodded and took his pink plush toy out from under the counter before he sat down on one of the tables. Mimi wants to play. Get here in 5 Kyuhyun texted before slinging over the apron over his head and smiling at a customer that just entered.
::::
Kyuhyun doesn’t meet Sungmin for a week after that. “I’m busy,” Sungmin kept saying. Kyuhyun was already at his last straw when he met Sungmin, by accident in a crowded pub at the opposite end of the town. Kyuhyun had initially wanted to drink with a client of his but stopped immediately when he saw Sungmin drinking alone, lips jutted out, clearly drunk.
Kyuhyun neared him suspiciously. When Sungmin saw him, he immediately stood up and wanted to run away, but Kyuhyun caught his arms. “What happened to you?” he demanded. “Look me in the eyes, Min.”
When the drunken Sungmin turned around, meeting Kyuhyun's eyes as instructed, he whispered “I’m sorry, Kyu” before blacking out in Kyuhyun's arns.
::::
“You have to take care of yourself more from now on,” the doctor scolded. “No more excessive drinking. Better yet, stop drinking.”
Sungmin nodded stiffly, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. He was lying flat on the hospital bed, feeling drained and weak. He didn’t watch as the doctor left the room.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Sungmin's head snapped to the side in shock as he stared at the doorway. Kyuhyun was leaning against the wall, eyes hard as they gazed at Sungmin accusingly.
“Kyu,” he breathed heavily. He stared as Kyuhyun closed the door behind him, turning around slowly to face Sungmin again.
“Cancer…you have cancer,” Kyuhyun muttered the words carefully, frightened. “Tell me it’s a lie.”
“I’m sorry,” Sungmin repeated softly.
“Why didn’t you tell me?!” Kyuhyun screamed.
“Kyu-”
“Were you planning on dying and leave me hanging here?” Kyuhyun demanded. “Do you like playing with me?”
“I’m sorry,” Sungmin cried. “Kyuhyun, please listen to me.”
“I don’t need to listen,” Kyuhyun shook his head. “You clearly don’t trust me enough. You clearly don’t love me enough.”
“They say I have two more months,” Sungmin whispered, voice echoing loudly in the eerie room. It successfully stopped Kyuhyun in his tracks. “Two months. For once in my life, Kyuhyun, I wanted to be selfish. I give and I give my entirely life. But I’m dying now, Kyu.”
“Min-”
“I love you,” Sungmin whispered, body shaking. “I breathe without living these entire twenty years. But when I met you, suddenly everything else doesn’t matter. All those tears I shed while growing up, all those things that broke me; it doesn’t matter. I want you. I need you. I need only you. They kept telling me that it’s three months, two months, they themselves aren’t sure, Kyu. I need answers but right now, all I can do is guess. I couldn’t tell you. I just couldn’t.”
“Is that how much you trust me?” Kyuhyun muttered, closing the door behind him again and resting his forehead against it. His small voice echoes because the room was small and quiet.
Sungmin stared at his lover’s back. “It’s not th-”
“You were afraid that I would leave,” Kyuhyun said. “You were afraid that after all of these, you’ll be nothing but a burden to me. You didn’t trust me.”
“Kyuhyun,” Sungmin begged.
Kyuhyun's voice cracked. “I love you,” he said. “So much that it hurts. The last thing I think about before I go to bed is you. The first thing that comes to mind as I wake up is you. When I eat, when I bathe, when I go to work, it’s always just you in my mind.” He heard Sungmin's soft sharp intake of breath at his confession. Truthfully, it was the first time that Kyuhyun verbally voiced out his feelings. It was the first time that he told Sungmin that he loved him.
Kyuhyun turned, eyes teary as he walked towards the bed, kneeling down beside it. He took Sungmin's hands in his, staring at it for a while before, with a small voice, he said, “I wouldn’t leave. I would never leave.”
Sungmin cried as Kyuhyun kissed him.
:::
“I don’t want a party,” Sungmin whispered softly into Kyuhyun's chest. “I don’t want to… I know you’re planning one for me. But I’m really sorry Kyu, I really don’t want one.”
“But Min-”
“I just want to spend it with you, alone. Please,” Sungmin requested. “I’m really sorry.”
Kyuhyun gave the petite mine a squeeze, weaving their fingers together as he kissed Sungmin's fluffy hair. “Alright, anything for you,” he whispered.
“Will Heechul hyung be mad at me?” Sungmin asked warily, as if afraid.
“Hyung will understand,” Kyuhyun assured. “He can spend New Year’s Day with Hangeng hyung. And I’m sure Zhoumi wouldn’t mind going with Henry.”
“But I feel really bad,” Sungmin sighed, slumping his head deeper into Kyuhyun's embrace. “I’m not ditching them…I just want…you,” he confessed, voice growing softer with every word.
Kyuhyun would have smiled and giggled if not for Sungmin's broken voice. He knew what Sungmin meant. And frowned disapprovingly at it. “It won’t be your last birthday,” Kyuhyun scolded. “You’ll be healthy. We’ll be celebrating your 50th birthday together. And the next one and the next one.”
Sungmin whimpered. He couldn’t bring himself to disagree. He doesn’t want to see the sadness in Kyuhyun's eyes. He doesn’t want Kyuhyun to be crying alone at night when he thought that Sungmin was already sleeping. He doesn’t want Kyuhyun to be tracing his face in the morning with that fearful look in his eyes, as if Sungmin will disappear and break with the slightest touch.
It was raining on New Year’s Eve. Heechul had gave Sungmin a hug when they told him about the cancelation of the party. “You’ll be fine. I understand,” Heechul had whispered in his ears. Zhoumi had cried when Sungmin had broke the news to him about the cancellation of the party along with the diagnosis of his cancer. It took a whole hour for Sungmin to calm him down, with the help of Henry of course. Henry always knows the right strings to pull when it comes to Zhoumi. “I’m sorry,” Sungmin whispered; Zhoumi’s face between his palms as he held them tightly, desperately. He needed Zhoumi to understand. “Hyung’s really sorry, Zhoumi,” Sungmin begged. “Hyung took care of you ever since you were small and crying. Hyung can’t take care of you anymore,” Sungmin said in a small voice. He reached out for Henry’s hands and brought it together with Zhoumi’s, clasping them together. “It’s your turn now, Henry. Just one last request from me, please. Zhoumi’s really precious to me,” he continued. “Even if the world turn its back on him, promise me Henry, promise me that you’ll be by his side.”
Henry nodded stiffly, biting his lips because between them, he was supposed to be the strong one. “I promise,” he crocked.
Kyuhyun had pulled Sungmin away when he saw the male’s leg shaking, unable to take the weight of his body anymore. “You can’t tire yourself out,” he scolded.
When New Year’s Eve came, Sungmin was already too weak to walk. He cried when Kyuhyun carried him all the way to the car. He wouldn’t stop crying even after they reached the beach. Sungmin wanted to spend his birthday on the beach; the place where the ashes of his parents were scattered in. Kyuhyun pulled him up onto his laps, back leaning against the tree trunk, with his hands secured protectively around Sungmin's small waist and chin on the older’s shoulder.
“Stop crying,” Kyuhyun whispered in his ears.
“I’m sorry,” Sungmin muttered. “I’m sorry that you had to carry me all the way down. I’m sorry that I dulled your New Year’s Eve when you sh-”
“Don’t,” Kyuhyun begged. “Don’t make this harder for me, Min. I don’t mind. Even if I have to do this for another fifty years, as long as you’re with me, I don’t mind doing this. Even if you ask me to swim across the ocean to save you, even if you need me to run miles, I don’t mind, Min. I won’t mind.”
“Kyu-”
“You told me you want nothing but my happiness,” Kyuhyun's voice cracked. “My happiness is only you, Sungmin. But you’ve been crying and crying. You’re sorry for being sick, you’re sorry that I have to carry you. You’re always being apologetic. My heart…it hurts, Sungmin.”
Sungmin trembled, turning his head slightly as he stared at his lover’s face. It was pale and thin, with the bones sticking out at odd angles. He was too busy trying to be less of a burden to realize that it was hurting Kyuhyun. “I’ve been selfish, haven’t I?” Sungmin murmured, breath washing Kyuhyun's face. Kyuhyun shook his head, their eyes locking as he turned his head.
“I want to get married,” Kyuhyun whispered.
“Kyuhyun…” Sungmin breathed, unevenly.
“I know,” Kyuhyun said, tearing his eyes away from Sungmin to stare at the vast ocean by them. “We can’t marry here. We can though, somewhere a thousand miles away from here. But you’re not strong enough to go…”
Sungmin watched as Kyuhyun took out a ring from his pocket and slid it onto Sungmin's finger. The ring was pure silver; pretty and shiny. “We’re considered married now,” Kyuhyun said, holding out his hand to show Sungmin the similar ring on his finger. He smiled sadly. “Because of circumstances, this will do, no?”
“I’m sor-”
“Don’t be!” Kyuhyun almost shouted, frustrated. “It’s not your fault! Stop being sorry! You’re sorry for everything! This isn’t your fault, Min! Quit being sorry!”
Sungmin whimpered. “Ten years from now, you’ll be better. We’ll marry somewhere in the Netherlands. We’ll adopt children and we’ll raise them up strong and pretty, like you. We’ll argue on whose turn it is to change the diapers, we’ll argue on whose turn it is to wash the dishes. We’ll scream at each other when our children fight because of us. We’ll push each other out of the bed to calm down our crying children. We’ll… W-We’ll be fine…”
“Kyuhyun,” Sungmin murmured softly, squirming in Kyuhyun's hold so that he was facing the male, arms loose around Kyuhyun's neck. “I love you,” he said, muttering the words slowly, voice raw with desperation. Sungmin felt Kyuhyun's tears against his cheeks as they kissed, slowly and passionately. “I love you too,” Kyuhyun answered in a small voice. They spent the entire night on the beach. When the clock strikes midnight, though it doesn’t come as a surprise to him, Kyuhyun broke down when Sungmin's body went limp against him; tired from the long fight, contented from his love.
Love is the emblem of eternity; confounding all notion of time; effaces all memory of a beginning, all fear of an end. Even if I was born again, it’s still you. Let’s meet again; till the next life.
- Madame de Stael
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Uhhh, I'm back? And uhm, I have no idea how people with cancer will die. I'm really sorry. This was really hard to write. Have mercy?