Oh look, I'm still alive...
To whom it may concern:
I am doing quite well. My depression has gotten incredibly bad, but I have been able to control the panic attacks quite well. I will more than likely be starting my meds on Monday. Zoloft, 200mg a day for a year. Fun times! I'm just waiting for the blood test results to come back. I hope its my thyroid... I'd love to have a normal person metabolism! Maybe my boobs will grow like a normal persons! One can only hope. Either way, I hope to reduce the depression. My dad is also sending me some herbal stuff, which I agreed to take on top of the Zoloft. We'll see how that works out. If anything, I'll end up just wanting to kill myself and get off everything. Don't worry, I won't become an alcoholic like a certain someone I know who mixes her meds with alcohol and then proceeds to bitch me out for showing concern.
In other news, Eric and Phil are doing well. Eric was found guilty of cultivation of marijuana and sales of marijuana, and his sentencing is on March 13. Phil was found guilty of trafficking marijuana and his sentencing is March 17. Good luck to both of them... though its not looking good for Phil because the system can do more shit to the hippy without the family, as opposed to the hippy with a family. Fuck the system, they don't deserve to be fucked with like that. I think 3 months in jail is plenty of a sentence for one charge of trafficking. Not even sales or possession, just trafficking! Yeah, 6 mos. is some bullshit, huh? But what can he do? Hopefully the letters of recommendation help, but who knows at this point.
So my list of friends keeps getting smaller and smaller, but no worries. The few I have left are very important to me and I trust them with my lives. My relationship with Alyssa seems to be better. She probably talks all kinds of shit behind my back (with friends like Jenny and Shosh, I don't doubt it) and although I doubt she'll be there in my time of need, at least I can talk to her. I just wish she could better understand that I really am trying my damndest to stay out of trouble. I am not doing anything any more wrong than going 60 in a 45mph zone. But no matter, she is happily married to a guy that we all hate, but treats her great! Good for her, she deserves the respect and love and affection. Too bad we can't all get along. I'd rather not, I kinda want to punch him in the eye repeatedly for stealing my sister. At least she's happy. I just keep telling myself that.
I miss my best friend. Of all the friends I've lost, I miss Matt the most. No doubt in my mind he doesn't care either way what I have to say right now. Hey Matt, I'm not friends with Shoshannah anymore! Isn't that great?! You always told me to stop talking to her, and I finally did. Go me! And I'm finally going on anti-depressants! You wanted me to see a doctor. I finally did. I'm really excited about it, too. Whatever you hear about me, or whatever you might think I'm doing based on the fucked up chain of who said what about me, just know that all you need to do is call me and I'll tell you exactly how I'm doing.
Anyone can call me if they feel a need to show concern for my well being. I never said you couldn't. I never asked to lose all my friends. I just wanted to weed out the bad ones. And I have. And now I go out of my way to stay out of trouble. I work 6 days a week and I go to school. How am I doing? Quite well, thanks for asking. Staying out of trouble? I have no time to get into trouble! Whatever you hear, I can tell you the firsthand truth.
But where's the fun in that? No, let's all make up stories about how fucked up I am. That's so much more exciting! Did you see that bruise on my elbow? Ya, I was slammin H! Haha, or had my blood drawn so I could have my thyroid checked. But that's not interesting, me having a drug problem is. Well, hate to say it, but I'm just a pothead. And soon enough, I'll be a legal pothead! I can't wait for the shit talking to stop. Bite your tongues, I'm doing nothing wrong anymore. The Camarillo PD has nothing on this bitch!
Do I sound crazy? Excellent. Time to get ready for work. Much love to those who care. Happy Friday! Work, then sleep, then jail visit then back to work. Such is my life. And I am very content with it.
<3 Katie <3
I am doing quite well. My depression has gotten incredibly bad, but I have been able to control the panic attacks quite well. I will more than likely be starting my meds on Monday. Zoloft, 200mg a day for a year. Fun times! I'm just waiting for the blood test results to come back. I hope its my thyroid... I'd love to have a normal person metabolism! Maybe my boobs will grow like a normal persons! One can only hope. Either way, I hope to reduce the depression. My dad is also sending me some herbal stuff, which I agreed to take on top of the Zoloft. We'll see how that works out. If anything, I'll end up just wanting to kill myself and get off everything. Don't worry, I won't become an alcoholic like a certain someone I know who mixes her meds with alcohol and then proceeds to bitch me out for showing concern.
In other news, Eric and Phil are doing well. Eric was found guilty of cultivation of marijuana and sales of marijuana, and his sentencing is on March 13. Phil was found guilty of trafficking marijuana and his sentencing is March 17. Good luck to both of them... though its not looking good for Phil because the system can do more shit to the hippy without the family, as opposed to the hippy with a family. Fuck the system, they don't deserve to be fucked with like that. I think 3 months in jail is plenty of a sentence for one charge of trafficking. Not even sales or possession, just trafficking! Yeah, 6 mos. is some bullshit, huh? But what can he do? Hopefully the letters of recommendation help, but who knows at this point.
So my list of friends keeps getting smaller and smaller, but no worries. The few I have left are very important to me and I trust them with my lives. My relationship with Alyssa seems to be better. She probably talks all kinds of shit behind my back (with friends like Jenny and Shosh, I don't doubt it) and although I doubt she'll be there in my time of need, at least I can talk to her. I just wish she could better understand that I really am trying my damndest to stay out of trouble. I am not doing anything any more wrong than going 60 in a 45mph zone. But no matter, she is happily married to a guy that we all hate, but treats her great! Good for her, she deserves the respect and love and affection. Too bad we can't all get along. I'd rather not, I kinda want to punch him in the eye repeatedly for stealing my sister. At least she's happy. I just keep telling myself that.
I miss my best friend. Of all the friends I've lost, I miss Matt the most. No doubt in my mind he doesn't care either way what I have to say right now. Hey Matt, I'm not friends with Shoshannah anymore! Isn't that great?! You always told me to stop talking to her, and I finally did. Go me! And I'm finally going on anti-depressants! You wanted me to see a doctor. I finally did. I'm really excited about it, too. Whatever you hear about me, or whatever you might think I'm doing based on the fucked up chain of who said what about me, just know that all you need to do is call me and I'll tell you exactly how I'm doing.
Anyone can call me if they feel a need to show concern for my well being. I never said you couldn't. I never asked to lose all my friends. I just wanted to weed out the bad ones. And I have. And now I go out of my way to stay out of trouble. I work 6 days a week and I go to school. How am I doing? Quite well, thanks for asking. Staying out of trouble? I have no time to get into trouble! Whatever you hear, I can tell you the firsthand truth.
But where's the fun in that? No, let's all make up stories about how fucked up I am. That's so much more exciting! Did you see that bruise on my elbow? Ya, I was slammin H! Haha, or had my blood drawn so I could have my thyroid checked. But that's not interesting, me having a drug problem is. Well, hate to say it, but I'm just a pothead. And soon enough, I'll be a legal pothead! I can't wait for the shit talking to stop. Bite your tongues, I'm doing nothing wrong anymore. The Camarillo PD has nothing on this bitch!
Do I sound crazy? Excellent. Time to get ready for work. Much love to those who care. Happy Friday! Work, then sleep, then jail visit then back to work. Such is my life. And I am very content with it.
<3 Katie <3