(no subject)
You know, I liked this place a lot more when I hated it. I know ultimately that doesn't make sense but yet it makes all the sense in the world. My reasons for wanting to be here are hardly valid and hardly true, they just exist and I can't seem to change that no matter how unjustified they are. The little things that I look forward to, going to Bradfield or my tv shows are hardly justification for ultimately wanting to be here. While I don't ever feel unwelcome, I just never feel wanted. At least back home there were people who cared if I was around. And while maybe I'm trying just as hard to convince myself that I don't want to be here. Honestly, I would be happy to want to be here most of the time. I wish I could figure out how people want to be at school and then want to go home and not have it be either or. I'm still trying to figure it out but this place is missing something. I'm starting to think its certain kinds of people, or at least certain kinds of relationships, and I don't mean those of the romantic sense. Honestly, I would rather not worry about that and feel no pressure because that makes it more genuine when it develops. I just feel like I need friends, close friends. Friends that care if I walk into the room without being under the influence. Never unwelcome, just unwanted. It gets to you.
On another topic, this morning was coursenroll, or pre-enrollment for next year. I got into the classes I really wanted, however the classes I have to take are much more difficult scheduling wise and much more populated. Honestly, I'd rather sit in the smaller classes with the more enthusiastic then the giant faceless lectures with the sleeping. Looking at my schedule again I realize that I would be so happy right now if I just didn't take the one class that is required. MWF I start with Psych 101 with the professor who not only holds the record for teaching the most students in his career (something like almost 70,000) but is incredibly interesting and, on a side note, was integral in helping Sarah Hughes develop into the gold-medalist of the 2002 Olympics. Then I go straight to City and Regional Planning 100. Ultimately this will be the class that decides if I am in the correct major. I love meteorology but it is one of the few majors that I could use without ever going into the field. I doubt I can double major, which would be nice but at least this is the first step towards a minor. Then I have my meteorology class which is going to be great. And finally, I have my multivariable calc course which is something I'll look forward to now that its new material. My problem is physics. I can't fit it in and I really just don't want to take it. So I guess I'll talk to my advisor later today about options. I guess we'll see, maybe next semester wont be so bad after all. Ok, I should finish getting ready for class. Only 15 to go (days of class that is).
On another topic, this morning was coursenroll, or pre-enrollment for next year. I got into the classes I really wanted, however the classes I have to take are much more difficult scheduling wise and much more populated. Honestly, I'd rather sit in the smaller classes with the more enthusiastic then the giant faceless lectures with the sleeping. Looking at my schedule again I realize that I would be so happy right now if I just didn't take the one class that is required. MWF I start with Psych 101 with the professor who not only holds the record for teaching the most students in his career (something like almost 70,000) but is incredibly interesting and, on a side note, was integral in helping Sarah Hughes develop into the gold-medalist of the 2002 Olympics. Then I go straight to City and Regional Planning 100. Ultimately this will be the class that decides if I am in the correct major. I love meteorology but it is one of the few majors that I could use without ever going into the field. I doubt I can double major, which would be nice but at least this is the first step towards a minor. Then I have my meteorology class which is going to be great. And finally, I have my multivariable calc course which is something I'll look forward to now that its new material. My problem is physics. I can't fit it in and I really just don't want to take it. So I guess I'll talk to my advisor later today about options. I guess we'll see, maybe next semester wont be so bad after all. Ok, I should finish getting ready for class. Only 15 to go (days of class that is).