a new day

[superbigcluck]

Im really excited by some journal entries Ive read on here.  Its amazing to see there are people out there going through many of the same feelings and experiences I am.  The worst part of everything that has happened in my life is feeling so alone.  I feel like most people can't relate to what Im going through, when they hear the whole story they

Comments

late response....

[superbigcluck]

Im sorry I didnt respond to this sooner than now. As always, your words truly resonate with me. You are right, it is better to show that we love and face the hurt and rejection than to withold our true feelings and miss opportunities to be intimate with other people. I dont regret loving for her, caring for her in sickness and in health... I just struggle with how she likes to justify her actions by blaming me for not paying enough attention to her, working too much, not being romatice enough. She told me she wouldnt have cheated had I been a better girlfriend, had I dressed up more often, had I been more interested in sex. She had turned sex into a chore by complaining about it, and always wanting it on her terms. I gave her everything I had and more...fuck, Im so pissed today!!!! I let her convince me I was a piece of shit that ruined this fucking relationship, had I given anything else I would have ceased to exist as my own person entirely. I sacrificed so much, it was just never enough. The real kicker is the bitch she is with now is 45 years old, how fucking gross is that!? She is 14 years older than me, is she trying to find a mom while she is at it? Im rambling. As I said before, thank you for your encouragement and insight!