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Random Emo!Digimon fic.
Title: Paint the Silence
Summary: Taichi is dead. Everyone must deal. POVs from Mimi, Yamato and Hikari.
Rating: F-word, I think, once. Pretty mild, though, for me and my swearing addiction XD
Disclaimer: YA, YA, I KNOW. I don't own. God >:O
She doesn't listen. In fact, Mimi flat out refuses to listen to anyone. She refuses to listen to the doctors, refuses listening to the police, refuses listening to her parents. She just sits and thinks, but she doesn't quite feel. She's just there, taking up space. She wishes she could get up, wishes she could walk around and find the will to grab some tissues because her face is wet even though she can't remember actually crying. She wishes a lot. She wishes, more than anything, that Taichi was there beside her, holding her, with her. Always with her. Like it was supposed to be.
Taichi isn't there for her, for the first time ever.
Taichi's laying on an autopsy room in some hospital. He's probably cold, Mimi thinks worriedly and she frowns. She hopes they gave him a blanket. Isn't it cold in there? All that death. She considers calling to hospital and telling them to grab a spare one. Taichi's very sensitive, she would tell them.
Then she remembers again. Taichi's dead. Dead people don't feel.
Kind of like her. Not feeling. Just taking up space. Of course, she isn't the dead one. No, she's the one who hadn't kissed him goodbye that morning because she needed to find her favorite sweet berry lipstick.
She's the widow.
She is living and Taichi is dead.
People tell her, "I'm sorry."
They don't know anything.
She doesn't listen.
**
Yamato's not really sure what's going on. So many people are talking and crying and he just wants to play his bass because he was trying to master some chords. Hopefully it'll stop soon. Whatever it is. All he knows is that people are saying Taichi's dead and yeah, okay, because Taichi would be dead, get real. He's only twenty four. So he has no fucking idea what's going on but it sure as hell isn't reality.
Reality is hanging out with Taichi like they plans to do. They were going to go to some sports game, for Taichi, and then go around and make fun of crappy resteraunts, for him. They would round out the night by watching Die Hard, even though they both had it memorized by now.
Reality is punching Tai in the face because he's freaking out and then promptly getting punched back. It's fighting until they're yelling so much they're laughing and then dusting themselves off and going, "Damn, it's been a while."
Reality is going to bed and sleeping fitfully without nightmares and not sweating until he has to change the sheets. It's peaceful dreams about love and life and being successful and having a purpose and Taichi being his best friend, being there and making stupid jokes that he laughs uproarously at.
Reality is being calm, being cool, being collected and knowing everything will be alright, that it has to be. That everything will work out and they'll all come together and beat whatever is coming down on them and move on, like they always had.
None of this is reality but he pretends because it's only that knowledge that keeps him from completely falling apart.
**
Hikari's eyes flicker over his tombstone, and she is not battling denial or anger. In fact, she hasn't gone through the five stages of grief at all and no, that isn't denial. It is simply acceptance. Acceptance for knowing that her brother is gone. Accepting that he is dead and hopefully in a good place. Not in a dark place ... not in a place where the shadows would strangle him and torture him for the rest of the time. Never. She knows he's probably among the spry mists and clouds, glancing down at all of them in utter confusement but thinking, "Hey, a lot more people liked me than I thought."
She cries, softly, painfully to herself while Matt puts an arm around her shoulder mechanically. They exchange blank looks and Hikari is not completely convinced Yamato even knows where he is.
She closes her eyes and prays to Taichi. She tells Taichi that if he can hear her, she misses him and surviving without him won't be impossible, just hard. She tells him that they threw out his half-eaten cheeseburger in the fridge, and sorry. She wanted to keep it but it seemed impractical.
She tells him he loves her and she promises she'll take care of everyone.
Hikari doesn't understand why death occurs. Why lives are granted and then snatched up greedily, like bargaining chips that could be gambled at any time. She doesn't understand it even the slightest, and for all her academic prowess is quite sure she'll never understand it, save for the answer 'it's the natural order of her life'. She doesn't understand it.
But she accepts it.
She wipes her eyes.
And she will have to be the strong one. Like Taichi was. Like Taichi is because his physical embodiment may be gone, but his spirit will never cease.
So she keeps going. Not just for herself. But for him.
Otherwise he'd probably be up there going, "Don't be a wimp."
Title: Paint the Silence
Summary: Taichi is dead. Everyone must deal. POVs from Mimi, Yamato and Hikari.
Rating: F-word, I think, once. Pretty mild, though, for me and my swearing addiction XD
Disclaimer: YA, YA, I KNOW. I don't own. God >:O
She doesn't listen. In fact, Mimi flat out refuses to listen to anyone. She refuses to listen to the doctors, refuses listening to the police, refuses listening to her parents. She just sits and thinks, but she doesn't quite feel. She's just there, taking up space. She wishes she could get up, wishes she could walk around and find the will to grab some tissues because her face is wet even though she can't remember actually crying. She wishes a lot. She wishes, more than anything, that Taichi was there beside her, holding her, with her. Always with her. Like it was supposed to be.
Taichi isn't there for her, for the first time ever.
Taichi's laying on an autopsy room in some hospital. He's probably cold, Mimi thinks worriedly and she frowns. She hopes they gave him a blanket. Isn't it cold in there? All that death. She considers calling to hospital and telling them to grab a spare one. Taichi's very sensitive, she would tell them.
Then she remembers again. Taichi's dead. Dead people don't feel.
Kind of like her. Not feeling. Just taking up space. Of course, she isn't the dead one. No, she's the one who hadn't kissed him goodbye that morning because she needed to find her favorite sweet berry lipstick.
She's the widow.
She is living and Taichi is dead.
People tell her, "I'm sorry."
They don't know anything.
She doesn't listen.
**
Yamato's not really sure what's going on. So many people are talking and crying and he just wants to play his bass because he was trying to master some chords. Hopefully it'll stop soon. Whatever it is. All he knows is that people are saying Taichi's dead and yeah, okay, because Taichi would be dead, get real. He's only twenty four. So he has no fucking idea what's going on but it sure as hell isn't reality.
Reality is hanging out with Taichi like they plans to do. They were going to go to some sports game, for Taichi, and then go around and make fun of crappy resteraunts, for him. They would round out the night by watching Die Hard, even though they both had it memorized by now.
Reality is punching Tai in the face because he's freaking out and then promptly getting punched back. It's fighting until they're yelling so much they're laughing and then dusting themselves off and going, "Damn, it's been a while."
Reality is going to bed and sleeping fitfully without nightmares and not sweating until he has to change the sheets. It's peaceful dreams about love and life and being successful and having a purpose and Taichi being his best friend, being there and making stupid jokes that he laughs uproarously at.
Reality is being calm, being cool, being collected and knowing everything will be alright, that it has to be. That everything will work out and they'll all come together and beat whatever is coming down on them and move on, like they always had.
None of this is reality but he pretends because it's only that knowledge that keeps him from completely falling apart.
**
Hikari's eyes flicker over his tombstone, and she is not battling denial or anger. In fact, she hasn't gone through the five stages of grief at all and no, that isn't denial. It is simply acceptance. Acceptance for knowing that her brother is gone. Accepting that he is dead and hopefully in a good place. Not in a dark place ... not in a place where the shadows would strangle him and torture him for the rest of the time. Never. She knows he's probably among the spry mists and clouds, glancing down at all of them in utter confusement but thinking, "Hey, a lot more people liked me than I thought."
She cries, softly, painfully to herself while Matt puts an arm around her shoulder mechanically. They exchange blank looks and Hikari is not completely convinced Yamato even knows where he is.
She closes her eyes and prays to Taichi. She tells Taichi that if he can hear her, she misses him and surviving without him won't be impossible, just hard. She tells him that they threw out his half-eaten cheeseburger in the fridge, and sorry. She wanted to keep it but it seemed impractical.
She tells him he loves her and she promises she'll take care of everyone.
Hikari doesn't understand why death occurs. Why lives are granted and then snatched up greedily, like bargaining chips that could be gambled at any time. She doesn't understand it even the slightest, and for all her academic prowess is quite sure she'll never understand it, save for the answer 'it's the natural order of her life'. She doesn't understand it.
But she accepts it.
She wipes her eyes.
And she will have to be the strong one. Like Taichi was. Like Taichi is because his physical embodiment may be gone, but his spirit will never cease.
So she keeps going. Not just for herself. But for him.
Otherwise he'd probably be up there going, "Don't be a wimp."