Serialangel vs Serialangel
I had a previous post I kept thinking about writing about, called Serialangel versus the State. The hell of trying to apply for disability benefits and having to use jobseekers allowance and being fucked over by your landlord which is compromising your housing benefit and feeling like I'm under the boot of the current Tory/Lib Dem government.
And then today I got a job offer. For a job that I applied for because I really wanted it. I wasn't expecting to get it. It hadn't been that kind of year, where things have been going my way. But this job has be back working within art education and I get to be working with a lot of artists, young people and gallery professionals. And it's part time, 4 days a week (though I think 3 days a week would be more comfortable for me) and it's money I can live on, and a steady job until March 2017.
So of course my initial feeling is panic. Feeling like, oh god, don't fuck it up. Don't fuck it up for once. Your friend spoke up for you and you can't let her down. Your health is going to get in the way, and you'll be taking so many sick days that you'll fuck it up. Can I even handle four days a week, can you even function, how will my new psych appointments interrupt my work, will I be able to negotiate times. Can I commit ----
And then ---
Sobbing at the very end, but it's good, I needed this. Sometimes I get so inside my head I forget how much I want to live.
And then today I got a job offer. For a job that I applied for because I really wanted it. I wasn't expecting to get it. It hadn't been that kind of year, where things have been going my way. But this job has be back working within art education and I get to be working with a lot of artists, young people and gallery professionals. And it's part time, 4 days a week (though I think 3 days a week would be more comfortable for me) and it's money I can live on, and a steady job until March 2017.
So of course my initial feeling is panic. Feeling like, oh god, don't fuck it up. Don't fuck it up for once. Your friend spoke up for you and you can't let her down. Your health is going to get in the way, and you'll be taking so many sick days that you'll fuck it up. Can I even handle four days a week, can you even function, how will my new psych appointments interrupt my work, will I be able to negotiate times. Can I commit ----
And then ---
Click to viewSobbing at the very end, but it's good, I needed this. Sometimes I get so inside my head I forget how much I want to live.