Adulting
I'm not even going to try and fit in my current life in one post.
I want to talk about the Nine Worlds Geekfest again this year. (www.nineworlds.co.uk) I was there weekend just gone, bought hotel tickets and everything. It's been one of the best weekends ever. I love it because I get to squee and debate and think and hear new ideas and learn stuff. I got to make a TARDIS felt badge and there's Eleventy Doctor stickers all over my stuff. I went to a panel about positive portrayals of mental health with a panel of intelligent, funny people who all have mental health problems and we talked about what we wanted to see and good and bad portrayals and doing comedy and at the end the packed out room whooped and cheered and even though I was just an audience member who whooped with everyone else I had to run off to the bathrooms, cry, and call Tom to tell him I'm back in the world with him and that I wish he was there to hold me.
Then I went back and went to a fanvid screening.And then I went back to my hotel room up till 3am finishing off the treatment and questions for a panel about the Bechdel test, the first time I ever modded anything. I got my friend from this Queer DIY Film Festival I'm running (YEAH) and this awesome Canadian woman with a PHD on women in films and we moderated this thing for the Nine Worlds Film Festival. I was expecting like 30 people. We got over 100 people, packed out the room, people had to be turned away, my best friend in the world listening intently in the corridor. And I faced this huge crowd and we did it really really really well and it was funny and people actually laughed and I got no dick questions, though a couple of tricky ones. What film genre sucks the least in terms of the Bechdel test? How do aliens figure into this? How do we write in more women characters? (answer: change their names in the script). And people clapped and someone called it a blockbuster and someone else said it was excellently moderated and really interesting and my best friend said she cried in the corridor because she was so proud of me.
Then there was the film quiz which contained Kirk Karaoke and people got to do Kirk Karaoke for Let It Go and I don't think anything in fandom could ever top that. And I got drunk, got into my prettiest dress, went to a bit of cabaret and danced at the queer geeky dance afterparty. Two of my friends did a consensually agreed proposal at said queer cabaret - lesbian cosplay Pepper Potts proposed to lesbian cosplay Tony Stark and they said yes. My best friend decided that wine in our hotel room was a great idea and I was up till 5:30, up at 9:30 like a boss and watched films on beanbags, went to a writing workshop about writing SF with existing technology (and I got a good idea!) and then two Doctor Who things because I still love Doctor Who (almost all my queer friends hate Moffat like they hate someone to such an extremeness, sads) and went to a really great talk about gender roles in Doctor Who (where I learnt how awesome and like Donna Barbara's character is, and Simon Guerrier suggesting Sally Wainwright to be the first woman showrunner). And finally, a talk re RTD vs Lambert where it was comparison and love and lots of love. Then my head hurt and I had a two hour journey home to make. I said goodbyes and left, reluctantly back into the real world.
Anyway, I titled this Adulting because when I was dancing at the Queer Geeky Danceparty (at a place with stringent rules on anti harrassment and feminism and queer/disabled/POC inclusivity so I felt safe as I would ever be to dance and chat to everyone) I realised that for the first time I was doing *exactly* what I wanted to do with my life, that Adulting was being able to decide what Adulting is what you decide it is, that I was able to be a commentator and a speaker and people be interested and listen to what I have to say, that I was supporting myself (barely), that I had put myself out there and myself was good and people liked me for exactly who I was. The heart opens and you feel taller when you realise things like that. I wonder how long it will last for.
I want to talk about the Nine Worlds Geekfest again this year. (www.nineworlds.co.uk) I was there weekend just gone, bought hotel tickets and everything. It's been one of the best weekends ever. I love it because I get to squee and debate and think and hear new ideas and learn stuff. I got to make a TARDIS felt badge and there's Eleventy Doctor stickers all over my stuff. I went to a panel about positive portrayals of mental health with a panel of intelligent, funny people who all have mental health problems and we talked about what we wanted to see and good and bad portrayals and doing comedy and at the end the packed out room whooped and cheered and even though I was just an audience member who whooped with everyone else I had to run off to the bathrooms, cry, and call Tom to tell him I'm back in the world with him and that I wish he was there to hold me.
Then I went back and went to a fanvid screening.And then I went back to my hotel room up till 3am finishing off the treatment and questions for a panel about the Bechdel test, the first time I ever modded anything. I got my friend from this Queer DIY Film Festival I'm running (YEAH) and this awesome Canadian woman with a PHD on women in films and we moderated this thing for the Nine Worlds Film Festival. I was expecting like 30 people. We got over 100 people, packed out the room, people had to be turned away, my best friend in the world listening intently in the corridor. And I faced this huge crowd and we did it really really really well and it was funny and people actually laughed and I got no dick questions, though a couple of tricky ones. What film genre sucks the least in terms of the Bechdel test? How do aliens figure into this? How do we write in more women characters? (answer: change their names in the script). And people clapped and someone called it a blockbuster and someone else said it was excellently moderated and really interesting and my best friend said she cried in the corridor because she was so proud of me.
Then there was the film quiz which contained Kirk Karaoke and people got to do Kirk Karaoke for Let It Go and I don't think anything in fandom could ever top that. And I got drunk, got into my prettiest dress, went to a bit of cabaret and danced at the queer geeky dance afterparty. Two of my friends did a consensually agreed proposal at said queer cabaret - lesbian cosplay Pepper Potts proposed to lesbian cosplay Tony Stark and they said yes. My best friend decided that wine in our hotel room was a great idea and I was up till 5:30, up at 9:30 like a boss and watched films on beanbags, went to a writing workshop about writing SF with existing technology (and I got a good idea!) and then two Doctor Who things because I still love Doctor Who (almost all my queer friends hate Moffat like they hate someone to such an extremeness, sads) and went to a really great talk about gender roles in Doctor Who (where I learnt how awesome and like Donna Barbara's character is, and Simon Guerrier suggesting Sally Wainwright to be the first woman showrunner). And finally, a talk re RTD vs Lambert where it was comparison and love and lots of love. Then my head hurt and I had a two hour journey home to make. I said goodbyes and left, reluctantly back into the real world.
Anyway, I titled this Adulting because when I was dancing at the Queer Geeky Danceparty (at a place with stringent rules on anti harrassment and feminism and queer/disabled/POC inclusivity so I felt safe as I would ever be to dance and chat to everyone) I realised that for the first time I was doing *exactly* what I wanted to do with my life, that Adulting was being able to decide what Adulting is what you decide it is, that I was able to be a commentator and a speaker and people be interested and listen to what I have to say, that I was supporting myself (barely), that I had put myself out there and myself was good and people liked me for exactly who I was. The heart opens and you feel taller when you realise things like that. I wonder how long it will last for.