(no subject)
I wish I was the best I could be.
I don't really know what that means. I don't know which goals to aspire to. I tell myself one thing, and receive little encouragement or response. I'm still struggling with growing up. I'm 22 years old and I'm still fighting it. Sometimes it's difficult to deconstruct my views. Sometimes I still miss high school, I feel like everything was so simple back then. But back then, I didn't think it was so simple. Whatever problems/thoughts/ideas/wants/needs seem great in the present, but they can only fade with time. I just wish I could think of right now the way I'll think about it in 10 years.1 I don't think back to high school and remember the days I would go to school 7:35-2:35, and then work 4-8. That's a long day, but both of those things seem so simple right now that it doesn't even matter.
Life isn't even hard right now, it's not that. My job is easy, rewarding when I do things even. My classes aren't overly difficult; I'm not stressed with my workload. The future seems as out of place as ever, and I suppose I just wish I could go back to the things I remember as comforting in 11th grade.
Some people have their teddy bear or a baby blanket for support... I find myself entirely blanketed by the city of Holt I guess.
1 Kevin Brydges, Nostalgia: The Instant Message Sessions. (Mt. Pleasant/Holt, 2007) 127.
I don't really know what that means. I don't know which goals to aspire to. I tell myself one thing, and receive little encouragement or response. I'm still struggling with growing up. I'm 22 years old and I'm still fighting it. Sometimes it's difficult to deconstruct my views. Sometimes I still miss high school, I feel like everything was so simple back then. But back then, I didn't think it was so simple. Whatever problems/thoughts/ideas/wants/needs seem great in the present, but they can only fade with time. I just wish I could think of right now the way I'll think about it in 10 years.1 I don't think back to high school and remember the days I would go to school 7:35-2:35, and then work 4-8. That's a long day, but both of those things seem so simple right now that it doesn't even matter.
Life isn't even hard right now, it's not that. My job is easy, rewarding when I do things even. My classes aren't overly difficult; I'm not stressed with my workload. The future seems as out of place as ever, and I suppose I just wish I could go back to the things I remember as comforting in 11th grade.
Some people have their teddy bear or a baby blanket for support... I find myself entirely blanketed by the city of Holt I guess.
1 Kevin Brydges, Nostalgia: The Instant Message Sessions. (Mt. Pleasant/Holt, 2007) 127.