Comments | supaflygal: either way you slice it, you still can't win

supaflygal

either way you slice it, you still can't win

May 05, 2004 14:55

okay, so like, back in march, dave and i had our first disagreement. it had nothing to do with us, but instead my relationships with my friends. i was complaining for whatever reason that i don't feel close with most of my friends because they never proactively show an interest in my life. i think i've even brought this up here before - if my ( Read more... )

Comments 8

chemchick May 5 2004, 12:29:13 UTC

Your friends care about you. And I DO care about you. I'm just in this weird place right now where I need to figure out what the hell I am doing and be insanely selfish so that I can give back to people what they deserve.

I've been half-assing so many relationships because I don't know what to do. And you know I suck at the phone. I hate the phone. The phone needs to die. When you get back to NJ, you'll see.

I have a fever so if I don't make sense today, just punch me in the face next time you see me.

supaflygal May 5 2004, 19:14:06 UTC

i definitely agree that it's sooo much better with your friends when you like, live in the same state, if not the same area code too. but at the same time, when i get into these types of funks, i'm all like, "so are they just my friend because it's easy and convenient in NJ?"

and honestly, i understand that my friends need to take time for themselves - i'm all about quality time alone, too. but there are times, i think, when as a friend we need to get out of our comfort zones, and even though we don't want to, focus on someone else because they need us. yes, there are times when i am not in the mood to hear and deal with the issues of my friends, but i do anyway because i recognize that they need me. now, if they just want to shoot the shit, i'm all like 'buh-bye', but if they really need to get something out and need a friend to talk to, i think it's my role as a friend to be a little selfless and listen to them.

baby__girl May 5 2004, 13:10:37 UTC

It may sound stupid, but something funny will happen and I'll be like, oh I gotta show that to Amber...or American Idol will come on and I'll want to talk to you all about it the next morning. I try to show you how much I care and my loyalty by sending you my little cards with silly poems. I'm sorry if I dont often enough. I guess 'life' just gets in the way. Dont feel bad about saying that or feeling that way. Sometimes people need a little pinch to realize how they are making other people feel. Just dont feel like you are not cared about. I know plenty who care tons about you. The time we waste most in life is the time we waste thinking we are alone.

supaflygal May 5 2004, 19:09:45 UTC

oh my goodness, that post sooooo was not directed at you!!! if anything, you're the one friendship where it's me who doesn't do enough! normally, i think about calling you, but then i talk myself out of it like "i met this girl online and she thinks i'm going to be the biggest freak if i call her or something".

but, we do need to get back in to the habit of talking on IM, too! i'm always away at work, but forget that, work will just have to wait for 30 minutes or so. ;-)

snowberry458 May 5 2004, 16:57:56 UTC

hmm it seems that me along with all my female lj friends seem to be having this same friend problem. where we're better friends to our friends than they are to us. it really does suck.

supaflygal May 5 2004, 19:08:05 UTC

it also sucks, too, because i just don't have the personality to turn to my LJ for reaffirmation and more deep friendships... like, i love you all and everything, but i can't just go "okay, screw my real life friends, i'll just indulge more in LJ land"... so that makes this whole situation more frustrating...

snowberry458 May 6 2004, 05:21:11 UTC

yeah i can understand that. its kinda a different relationship with your lj friends. where we're here for each other only when we go to our friends page. and most of your lj friends can't come hang out with you in real life b/c well, you can't just fly halfway across the country just to chill.

hammerdrill May 5 2004, 21:39:17 UTC

you took the words right outta my mouth, girl. why do we always have to go LOOKING for friends and conversations? my friends think that if i want to go out, i have to invite myself. where as, before i went to uni for 10 weeks, id get a call everytime something was going on. grrrrrr.