either way you slice it, you still can't win
okay, so like, back in march, dave and i had our first disagreement. it had nothing to do with us, but instead my relationships with my friends. i was complaining for whatever reason that i don't feel close with most of my friends because they never proactively show an interest in my life. i think i've even brought this up here before - if my friends don't call, i assume they don't care about me. and as i explained to dave, most of my friends don't know what's going on in my life, mainly because they don't ask or express any interest.
well, mr. david thought that i was being somewhat selfish because my friends aren't psychic and don't know if something good/bad is going on in my life if i don't tell them, and so it's up to me to be an open door and let people in. we disagreed about this for about half an hour, me keeping the point that my friends would know more about me if they called and asked, and him berating the point that if they're already my friends, i should just tell them what's going on, and not keep making them ask and goad the information out of me.
fine. while i still disagreed, i saw his point. i came back from nj a new me, and decided i would proactively tell my friends about what's going on in my life, and when i have one of my crises when i need friends, tell them about it, instead of keeping it to myself. yay! i called my friends.
what happened?
they don't fucking call back.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... do we all see the enraged humor that i am containing!?!?! sorry for the foul language.
i take it back. it's not all my friends. out of everyone i consider a 'good' friend, who know more than the average about me (about 10 people total), 2 of them do call, and i cling to those relationships to keep me from a complete nervous breakdown and hysterical hissy-fits.
i think this situation would be really funny if not so tragically sad. like, oh mah fucking gawd, i'm in a lose-lose situation. i wait for people to show interest in me, they don't. i try to call people to tell them to care about me, they don't. for fuck's sake, how do i win?
and so i must come to the conclusion - amber, these people really aren't your friends, at least not the way you need them to be. if everyone is honest with themselves, they couldn't care less about me - people love me because i'm a party waiting to happen, i always have a good time with my life, and i don't mind if people tell me their troubles - i like to listen. yet the minute i need a friend, the 2 times a year something does go wrong in my life (particularly last weekend), my friends are a fucking ghost town and nowhere to be found.
you know what is the saddest, yet greatest part about my life? my dad is my best friend. i love my relationship with my dad - we talk every other day, even just to shoot the shit, we drink together; he knows everything about my life. i think this is so wonderful - yet so sad that my best friend has to be my dad, cuz i can't find someone my own fucking age who can stop thinking about themselves for 10 minutes to give a shit about me.
thank you.
/rant.
really, i'm not that upset by all of this - now that the rage is out, it's really funny and great motivation to go and meet new people!
well, mr. david thought that i was being somewhat selfish because my friends aren't psychic and don't know if something good/bad is going on in my life if i don't tell them, and so it's up to me to be an open door and let people in. we disagreed about this for about half an hour, me keeping the point that my friends would know more about me if they called and asked, and him berating the point that if they're already my friends, i should just tell them what's going on, and not keep making them ask and goad the information out of me.
fine. while i still disagreed, i saw his point. i came back from nj a new me, and decided i would proactively tell my friends about what's going on in my life, and when i have one of my crises when i need friends, tell them about it, instead of keeping it to myself. yay! i called my friends.
what happened?
they don't fucking call back.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... do we all see the enraged humor that i am containing!?!?! sorry for the foul language.
i take it back. it's not all my friends. out of everyone i consider a 'good' friend, who know more than the average about me (about 10 people total), 2 of them do call, and i cling to those relationships to keep me from a complete nervous breakdown and hysterical hissy-fits.
i think this situation would be really funny if not so tragically sad. like, oh mah fucking gawd, i'm in a lose-lose situation. i wait for people to show interest in me, they don't. i try to call people to tell them to care about me, they don't. for fuck's sake, how do i win?
and so i must come to the conclusion - amber, these people really aren't your friends, at least not the way you need them to be. if everyone is honest with themselves, they couldn't care less about me - people love me because i'm a party waiting to happen, i always have a good time with my life, and i don't mind if people tell me their troubles - i like to listen. yet the minute i need a friend, the 2 times a year something does go wrong in my life (particularly last weekend), my friends are a fucking ghost town and nowhere to be found.
you know what is the saddest, yet greatest part about my life? my dad is my best friend. i love my relationship with my dad - we talk every other day, even just to shoot the shit, we drink together; he knows everything about my life. i think this is so wonderful - yet so sad that my best friend has to be my dad, cuz i can't find someone my own fucking age who can stop thinking about themselves for 10 minutes to give a shit about me.
thank you.
/rant.
really, i'm not that upset by all of this - now that the rage is out, it's really funny and great motivation to go and meet new people!