hey there life!
Updating my thoughts for personal reference.
Quit the job, drove across the country, moved to a new place...
Really living life...not really moving forward, but exploring what is around.
I've realized that I am not an overly ambitious person. Maybe because I am not concerned with money or security, but rather with life. I want to feel fulfilled and passionate about what I do and the jobs I love will probably never pay. I am willing to admit (finally), that no matter how independent I am...I want to rely on someone else. I want to be married and have kids and be a mom and I want to have a second half to make decisions with.
Apparently, I am the worlds most adaptable woman...seriously, I'm happy in the country or the city, kids or no kids, partying or laying low, traveling anywhere...I need another half to decide for me because I can't. I need to learn to trust and let go and stop fearing comittment.
Right now I have no idea where I'll end up after this adventure, so I'm just focusing on playing it out. Who knows what is next? Can I live my whole life following people around and accepting any offers for new things? Is that just avoiding making my own decisions? Or is it seizing opportunities? Bad luck has stolen a few possibilities from me...so I don't want to decide for fear of losing what I choose.
I want someone to pry me open and figure me out.
Quit the job, drove across the country, moved to a new place...
Really living life...not really moving forward, but exploring what is around.
I've realized that I am not an overly ambitious person. Maybe because I am not concerned with money or security, but rather with life. I want to feel fulfilled and passionate about what I do and the jobs I love will probably never pay. I am willing to admit (finally), that no matter how independent I am...I want to rely on someone else. I want to be married and have kids and be a mom and I want to have a second half to make decisions with.
Apparently, I am the worlds most adaptable woman...seriously, I'm happy in the country or the city, kids or no kids, partying or laying low, traveling anywhere...I need another half to decide for me because I can't. I need to learn to trust and let go and stop fearing comittment.
Right now I have no idea where I'll end up after this adventure, so I'm just focusing on playing it out. Who knows what is next? Can I live my whole life following people around and accepting any offers for new things? Is that just avoiding making my own decisions? Or is it seizing opportunities? Bad luck has stolen a few possibilities from me...so I don't want to decide for fear of losing what I choose.
I want someone to pry me open and figure me out.