NCIS - fanfiction: The Pieces That Are Left - Chapter Three
Fandom: NCIS
Author: Stephie (sunshine-sean/ imaginative soul)
Rating: mature
Spoilers: 2x22 SWAK, 5x07 Requiem
Summary: Gibbs was dead. And it was his damn fault.
AN: Thrid chapter to 'The Pieces That Are Left'. I'm always open to suggestions on how to make this a better story.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Dr. Brad Pitt had been searching for the right words to begin for a few seconds, weighting his options and how to give the elder man next to him hints that wouldn’t give away too much. “Unfortunately, I’m in no position to tell you why Tony had been seeing a psychologist years ago. Confidence between doctor and patient. You know the thrill, Ducky.”
The Medical Examiner nodded his understanding but the frown remained as a sign of his confusion. He always suspected more behind the frat boy image Tony had built for himself to shield from heartache and heartbreak and everyone that wanted to get too close to him. Something, Ducky suspected, led from a childhood that wasn’t always as happy as anyone would think it would be with all the money you needed and all the presents you wanted. But for many people that simply wasn’t enough or rather not what they wanted and desperately needed. Especially for Tony.
The young man had a gigantic heart and could give people much more than they realized they needed, but he always forgot to think about himself and when he finally opened up to someone, mistakenly, it provided such a big target to them that it would break him apart. Something Ducky witnessed right after the end of the undercover operation DiNozzo had been on for so long and had lost his heart for, unexpected though.
Blinking the unpleasant thoughts away Dr. Mallard went back to face Pitt. “How did you find out about Anthony seeing a psychologist? I can’t remember anything like that written in his file or his medical records.”
“It isn’t. And I guess I know who helped Tony erase that tiny little detail of his past. From what I know about the reason, why he was in therapy once, I can totally understand why he wanted this to disappear - or not even appear for that matter - in the first place. Once because it wouldn’t be good for him to be reminded of all that happened and secondly because he probably wouldn’t stand where he stands now.”
Brad paused a moment to gather his thoughts. This wouldn’t be nearly as easy as he thought it would. Absently he rubbed his temples in which he felt a headache building. Anthony DiNozzo could bring up unpleasant memories although not really from himself but because of long evenings spent with two of his best friends remembering painful memories from the past. Such things were never easily processed, especially when you hadn’t had to endure what Tony had to. It was hard to understand motives behind treating someone, humiliating them.
Flashback
36 Months Earlier
It was an unusual quiet day at Bethesda Naval Hospital. Something Dr. Pitt wasn’t used to since college time. As a doctor it was fairly impossible to go home in time or early for that matter. Brad was stuck with loads of cases and patients day in day out. There was not even time to complain about odd working hours. You simple had to come in when there was an epidemic in the hospital and work quietly. And you had to be fast, awake from one minute to the other, no matter if you had just dozen of expecting a fitful sleep. You didn’t have to expect fitful sleep at all.
Family or any other sort of private life wasn’t possible. Only few people who’d chosen this kind of job had practically already sold there soul to the devil - or the hospital in this case. Hospital had to be there first priority. So all in all you could compare being a doctor to being a federal agent. Especially to those Brad knew well. They were just the same: never expecting to have much sleep, awake even before the mobile phone rang and sleep was interrupted all of a sudden.
Today was quiet, however, and Brad was grateful for that.
Finally he had the time to visit a friend of his whom he hadn’t seen in a long time - although he worked in the same hospital. Dr. Sean Marple was a psychologist. One, Brad had been to medical school with. That the man never really studied psychology and still managed to become a psychiatrist was a mystery not only to his friends. But his high success rate showed that the man was good. So good that Dr. Marple could only treat half of the people who came to him.
Anyway, Brad was done with everything that was left on his desk for the past months and now finally had the time to give his friend a visit. That the other doctor wouldn’t have the pleasure of going home early was obvious for him, but he hoped Sean Marple wouldn’t be stuck with a patient at that time of day. Doctor’s consultation was long overdue so he expected his friend to go through the paperwork.
Brad entered the psych ward heading for the third door on the right, Marple’s office. His thoughts were miles away when he opened the glass door, his eyes still focused on the knob when he spoke. “Hey Sean. Thought I would drop by before I go home…” When he turned to face his friend he was surprised to see that he obviously still was in the middle of a session with a patient.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt you. I didn’t think you still had a patient.” Brad smiled apologetic and turned to leave, not paying attention to the young man sitting opposite his friend. But before he had the chance to leave he was stopped by a more than familiar voice he wouldn’t have expected here. Not him of all people.
“Hey Brad.” Tony. Anthony DiNozzo, a man he knew too well to overhear him. No-one who met him before ever forgot that voice. Although something was definitely off. Something was left on the voice of the brown-haired man, but Pitt just couldn’t put a finger on it. Not now. Not without looking at Tony. Because when he finally did he saw the lines of stress and the marks of less sleep than good for the special agent. And Brad saw more than that. There was pain, sadness, hopelessness. Not the happiness Brad was used to seeing in Tony’s eyes.
The cheeky grin on Tony’s didn’t match his eyes and Brad was sure, the two men had discussed something that was deep under the core. “I… didn’t know you were seeing a psychologist, Tony.” He was confused. And no-one could hold it against him. No-one who knew Tony would have thought that the man would see a shrink - and that willingly. No-one except Sean, of course.
“No-one knows about it, except Sean. Not even Gib-“ Tony interrupted and swallowed. Brad Pit frowned but remained silent. He thought it best to keep his mouth shut. After all, he’d been the one to barge into a more than private session and aroused embarrassment in his friend. That had been impolite enough for him to at least be reserved now.
After a few seconds of regaining his composure, Tony started talking again. “I know, that you didn’t know about this”, he admitted quietly and lowered his eyes on the patterns of carpet in Seans office. “No-one knows about this except Sean.” The embarrassment was evident although Brad couldn’t see the other man’s face. He didn’t know what to say and once again waited for either Tony or Sean to break the silence.
Again, it was Tony who spoke, his voice ever so slightly stronger than before. “I’d prefer it stays that way. Me seeing a psychiatrist isn’t something anyone but me and my therapist should know about. Especially no-one I ever worked for or with cause if the wrong people get this information I’ll be screwed. I can’t afford loosing my job over something like this, especially not know.” There was an unidentified strain in DiNozzos voice that Brad didn’t understand but didn’t bother asking about, either. “You got that?”, Tony asked, silent pleading hidden underneath the words. The young federal agent obviously afraid that someone might get information that didn’t do him any good.
So Pitt nodded his agreement, underlying it with calming words. “You have my promise. I won’t tell anyone unless you want me to and I doubt that’ll ever happen. Your life, your decision. What’s revealed in this office stays here.” Tony nodded thankfully, smiling gratefully, when Brad held up two fingers to lay them over his heart.
Tbc...
Author: Stephie (sunshine-sean/ imaginative soul)
Rating: mature
Spoilers: 2x22 SWAK, 5x07 Requiem
Summary: Gibbs was dead. And it was his damn fault.
AN: Thrid chapter to 'The Pieces That Are Left'. I'm always open to suggestions on how to make this a better story.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Dr. Brad Pitt had been searching for the right words to begin for a few seconds, weighting his options and how to give the elder man next to him hints that wouldn’t give away too much. “Unfortunately, I’m in no position to tell you why Tony had been seeing a psychologist years ago. Confidence between doctor and patient. You know the thrill, Ducky.”
The Medical Examiner nodded his understanding but the frown remained as a sign of his confusion. He always suspected more behind the frat boy image Tony had built for himself to shield from heartache and heartbreak and everyone that wanted to get too close to him. Something, Ducky suspected, led from a childhood that wasn’t always as happy as anyone would think it would be with all the money you needed and all the presents you wanted. But for many people that simply wasn’t enough or rather not what they wanted and desperately needed. Especially for Tony.
The young man had a gigantic heart and could give people much more than they realized they needed, but he always forgot to think about himself and when he finally opened up to someone, mistakenly, it provided such a big target to them that it would break him apart. Something Ducky witnessed right after the end of the undercover operation DiNozzo had been on for so long and had lost his heart for, unexpected though.
Blinking the unpleasant thoughts away Dr. Mallard went back to face Pitt. “How did you find out about Anthony seeing a psychologist? I can’t remember anything like that written in his file or his medical records.”
“It isn’t. And I guess I know who helped Tony erase that tiny little detail of his past. From what I know about the reason, why he was in therapy once, I can totally understand why he wanted this to disappear - or not even appear for that matter - in the first place. Once because it wouldn’t be good for him to be reminded of all that happened and secondly because he probably wouldn’t stand where he stands now.”
Brad paused a moment to gather his thoughts. This wouldn’t be nearly as easy as he thought it would. Absently he rubbed his temples in which he felt a headache building. Anthony DiNozzo could bring up unpleasant memories although not really from himself but because of long evenings spent with two of his best friends remembering painful memories from the past. Such things were never easily processed, especially when you hadn’t had to endure what Tony had to. It was hard to understand motives behind treating someone, humiliating them.
Flashback
36 Months Earlier
It was an unusual quiet day at Bethesda Naval Hospital. Something Dr. Pitt wasn’t used to since college time. As a doctor it was fairly impossible to go home in time or early for that matter. Brad was stuck with loads of cases and patients day in day out. There was not even time to complain about odd working hours. You simple had to come in when there was an epidemic in the hospital and work quietly. And you had to be fast, awake from one minute to the other, no matter if you had just dozen of expecting a fitful sleep. You didn’t have to expect fitful sleep at all.
Family or any other sort of private life wasn’t possible. Only few people who’d chosen this kind of job had practically already sold there soul to the devil - or the hospital in this case. Hospital had to be there first priority. So all in all you could compare being a doctor to being a federal agent. Especially to those Brad knew well. They were just the same: never expecting to have much sleep, awake even before the mobile phone rang and sleep was interrupted all of a sudden.
Today was quiet, however, and Brad was grateful for that.
Finally he had the time to visit a friend of his whom he hadn’t seen in a long time - although he worked in the same hospital. Dr. Sean Marple was a psychologist. One, Brad had been to medical school with. That the man never really studied psychology and still managed to become a psychiatrist was a mystery not only to his friends. But his high success rate showed that the man was good. So good that Dr. Marple could only treat half of the people who came to him.
Anyway, Brad was done with everything that was left on his desk for the past months and now finally had the time to give his friend a visit. That the other doctor wouldn’t have the pleasure of going home early was obvious for him, but he hoped Sean Marple wouldn’t be stuck with a patient at that time of day. Doctor’s consultation was long overdue so he expected his friend to go through the paperwork.
Brad entered the psych ward heading for the third door on the right, Marple’s office. His thoughts were miles away when he opened the glass door, his eyes still focused on the knob when he spoke. “Hey Sean. Thought I would drop by before I go home…” When he turned to face his friend he was surprised to see that he obviously still was in the middle of a session with a patient.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt you. I didn’t think you still had a patient.” Brad smiled apologetic and turned to leave, not paying attention to the young man sitting opposite his friend. But before he had the chance to leave he was stopped by a more than familiar voice he wouldn’t have expected here. Not him of all people.
“Hey Brad.” Tony. Anthony DiNozzo, a man he knew too well to overhear him. No-one who met him before ever forgot that voice. Although something was definitely off. Something was left on the voice of the brown-haired man, but Pitt just couldn’t put a finger on it. Not now. Not without looking at Tony. Because when he finally did he saw the lines of stress and the marks of less sleep than good for the special agent. And Brad saw more than that. There was pain, sadness, hopelessness. Not the happiness Brad was used to seeing in Tony’s eyes.
The cheeky grin on Tony’s didn’t match his eyes and Brad was sure, the two men had discussed something that was deep under the core. “I… didn’t know you were seeing a psychologist, Tony.” He was confused. And no-one could hold it against him. No-one who knew Tony would have thought that the man would see a shrink - and that willingly. No-one except Sean, of course.
“No-one knows about it, except Sean. Not even Gib-“ Tony interrupted and swallowed. Brad Pit frowned but remained silent. He thought it best to keep his mouth shut. After all, he’d been the one to barge into a more than private session and aroused embarrassment in his friend. That had been impolite enough for him to at least be reserved now.
After a few seconds of regaining his composure, Tony started talking again. “I know, that you didn’t know about this”, he admitted quietly and lowered his eyes on the patterns of carpet in Seans office. “No-one knows about this except Sean.” The embarrassment was evident although Brad couldn’t see the other man’s face. He didn’t know what to say and once again waited for either Tony or Sean to break the silence.
Again, it was Tony who spoke, his voice ever so slightly stronger than before. “I’d prefer it stays that way. Me seeing a psychiatrist isn’t something anyone but me and my therapist should know about. Especially no-one I ever worked for or with cause if the wrong people get this information I’ll be screwed. I can’t afford loosing my job over something like this, especially not know.” There was an unidentified strain in DiNozzos voice that Brad didn’t understand but didn’t bother asking about, either. “You got that?”, Tony asked, silent pleading hidden underneath the words. The young federal agent obviously afraid that someone might get information that didn’t do him any good.
So Pitt nodded his agreement, underlying it with calming words. “You have my promise. I won’t tell anyone unless you want me to and I doubt that’ll ever happen. Your life, your decision. What’s revealed in this office stays here.” Tony nodded thankfully, smiling gratefully, when Brad held up two fingers to lay them over his heart.
Tbc...