hmm
so i was too angry to say anything in here yesterday, didnt wanna say something i'd regret i assume.
today i guess i should be smart n decide the same thing but idk.
i wont go into detail about most of it.
I just wish i would feel like im actually wanted & loved. right now i just feel like im there for him to take out his anger on & relieve himself with. yesterday for over 3 hours... 3 fucking hours he was trying stuff n getting on my case about it. not to mention the fact that the 3 hours before that since i had walked in the door he had been yelling at me n stuff too. then hes gonna sit there n accuse me of stuff n what not. but he doesnt listen to shit i say. like idk why the fuck i put minutes on his phone just for him to sit there n text brittany all day to waste it. i mean really wtf is that??? he knows we dont have money for shit but can go buy magazines & cigarettes then expects me to waste more money on his damn phone just so he can sit there texting chicz all day. then i told him not to waste the money so he fucking flips over facing the other way keeps texting her. then this morning before giving me the phone he was deleting something off. n he wonders why i say shit about him being on the internet in the middle of the night. i mean really.
so basically i feel like i mean nothing at all to him n im just there getting hurt & yelled at for nothing.
i tell him all the time i dont feel like he loves me anymore n what does he do.. nothing... just gets more angry towards me saying all this shit. i mean really, dont you think the smart thing to do would be to try n make me feel more loved then to sit there pushing me away farther. just a thought.
ergh now im all pissed off yet again.
i better get off before i say too much.
much love
~*~tangled_in_the_pain~*~
today i guess i should be smart n decide the same thing but idk.
i wont go into detail about most of it.
I just wish i would feel like im actually wanted & loved. right now i just feel like im there for him to take out his anger on & relieve himself with. yesterday for over 3 hours... 3 fucking hours he was trying stuff n getting on my case about it. not to mention the fact that the 3 hours before that since i had walked in the door he had been yelling at me n stuff too. then hes gonna sit there n accuse me of stuff n what not. but he doesnt listen to shit i say. like idk why the fuck i put minutes on his phone just for him to sit there n text brittany all day to waste it. i mean really wtf is that??? he knows we dont have money for shit but can go buy magazines & cigarettes then expects me to waste more money on his damn phone just so he can sit there texting chicz all day. then i told him not to waste the money so he fucking flips over facing the other way keeps texting her. then this morning before giving me the phone he was deleting something off. n he wonders why i say shit about him being on the internet in the middle of the night. i mean really.
so basically i feel like i mean nothing at all to him n im just there getting hurt & yelled at for nothing.
i tell him all the time i dont feel like he loves me anymore n what does he do.. nothing... just gets more angry towards me saying all this shit. i mean really, dont you think the smart thing to do would be to try n make me feel more loved then to sit there pushing me away farther. just a thought.
ergh now im all pissed off yet again.
i better get off before i say too much.
much love
~*~tangled_in_the_pain~*~